Editor’s Note: Some passages in Scripture deal in subject matter which might be especially painful for some readers. Though many of the wounds we receive in this life are deeply personal and unimaginably painful, when they appear in God’s Word, we are reminded that He sees them. Whenever sin is addressed in Scripture—whether through teaching or story—it comes to us in the context of God’s unwavering commitment to bring an end to all evil in this world through the finished work of Christ (Revelation 21:3-4). We are praying for and with you as you read.
There are certain stories in Scripture that cause me to blink back tears every time I read them—Abraham leading Isaac up the mountain for sacrifice, Jesus begging God to take the cup from Him in the garden of Gethsemane, and Peter’s denial of Jesus, just to name a few.
Tamar’s story causes me to both blink back tears and shake with anger. It’s a difficult story to stomach, and I get more queasy with every verse I read. It brings up memories I’d rather forget and questions of God’s justice that I’d rather not ask: How could God allow something like this to happen to Tamar? She was just an innocent girl. She didn’t deserve this injustice. She didn’t ask for this.
These are the same sort of questions I ask myself every time another #MeToo story breaks on the news. They are the same questions I ask every time I hear another one of my friends tell a story from a time in their life when someone went a little too far, when an unforeseeable circumstance brought about unbearable pain and trauma.
Tamar’s story is not one that you hear preached about on Sunday mornings. It’s not suitable for young ears, and for some, it’s definitely triggering. If the Bible were a movie, Tamar’s story would push it to receive an R rating. But the same thing that’s true of all the stories women and men have brought into light over the last couple of years is also true here: they all have value, and we need to hear them. Tamar’s story is important because God saw fit to include it in His Word.
Tamar’s story allows survivors of sexual assault to see themselves in Scripture. It helps them see that they are not alone—that they, like Tamar, did not deserve this injustice. And because we know God’s character, we know that when we cry out morning, noon, and night—when we tear our clothes with grief like Tamar—He hears us (Psalm 55:17). He sees us. He meets us in the midst of our distress, and reminds us that we are His. He promises He will “not leave the guilty unpunished” (Exodus 34:6–7), that He will “[execute] justice for the exploited” (Psalm 146:6–7).
So although Tamar’s story is so painful we’d often rather forget it happened, we would do well to see her in her pain and recognize that God is still at work. He is still at the center of her story, and He remains at the center of ours as well.
Your comments really touched my heart as I read them this morning. God has been teaching me that I cannot know what others have been through and should never judge or assume. Each one of you comes to this devotion from a different place and experience. Different viewpoints are vital to our understanding. My heart reaches out to each of you in the place where you are. God sees you and knows what we don’t. Trust Him to see you, hear your pain and comfort you in love. I agree that He included this story of Tamar for a reason. He sees that our hearts are desperately wicked and wants us to know that He loves us and forgives us.
My heart just breaks to hear the stories of women (and children) who have been victims of assault like this. Just a few days ago I saw a headline for the sentencing of that man in FL
who assaulted his 1yo daughter and posted it on the dark web. I was beside myself reading it and it has kept me up at night a few nights since then. I just gave birth to my baby girl 9 weeks ago. And I just have no words… the fleshly side of me wants to see him suffer. Suffer as horribly as he made his baby girl suffer and more. Anyone who hurts another human being like this. In my humanness, I don’t understand how these things happen. I cry out to God on behalf of the women and children and men who have been hurt so deeply by the selfish desires of another person. I have in no way wrapped my feelings about this and other stories up in a neat bow. I ask God to intervene in my heart and allow me to let go of the anger and judgement that I have.
Check your url I have searched several days and cannot find her go fund me for car insurance
With all due respect, Always Truth, your comment is a little bit beside the point and, frankly, hurtful. It has nothing to do with Tamar, whose story is true because it’s Scripture. Please consider next time how your words might land – esp for those of us who have been take advantage of sexually. This isn’t a political moment.
With love.
Thank you for acknowledging this. So true.
Every time I’ve read this story I’ve felt anger and sadness. I’ll admit, part of me even enjoys Absalom’s revenge – the human, fleshly part of me. But we can see how that hurts more than it helps. What I love about scripture is that everything is included, the good and the bad, the right and the wrong. Everyone of us can be reflected in both those sinned against as well as those who sin. We can find healing in this. God sees every single one of us. No wrong will go un-righted.
So grateful for today’s devotion as well as the comments below. A true sisterhood.
Praying for you and your kids, Mari! ❤️
After reading today I wasn’t sure where the Holy Spirit would take my heart. This is a story I am familiar with, but that doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking and sickening.
Why would this horrible act be placed in scripture to be read and reread? Ladies, your genuine hearts displayed and the preciousness of each comment helped. I found myself saying Amen and Amen, over and over again. I also went to the He Reads Truth site to see what their devotional was like and that spoke to me as well. I’ve included several parts below:
(Why the story of Tamar is in the Word?) “But that’s just it—God did include it in His Word. He breathed it out and made it sacred by incorporating it into Scripture. We should never doubt that God sees our greatest pain—those moments when we are trapped, all alone, without witness or defender. He sees the years that pass afterwards when memories of abuse drive us underground and away from others. He sees, and He is there, bottling up our tears, as the psalmist so poetically put it (Psalm 56:8)………… Too often, we flirt with sin, skirting just past the edges of God’s commandments. Other times, we race out head first. But Tamar’s experience puts the ugliness of sin on full display. She is, to use the Bible’s own words, made desolate by the sin of Amnon. And we are all, in one form or another, continually making each other desolate, one sin at a time. I don’t say that to minimize or trivialize the pain of Tamar or any other person who has been sexually abused or violently attacked. There is really no comparison between our everyday sins and tragedies like Tamar’s. My point is, rather, that our sin always has consequences, for ourselves and for the other people in our lives. The sins of others are wounding us, and our own sins are wounding others, all the time. In our sin, we are steadily bringing desolation to one another instead of life. And it is precisely for this reason that Jesus came—to replace desolation and pain with life and joy.”
It is too late to change the hurt and loss in Tamar’s story, BUT, it is not too late for ours. Whatever our hurt and desolation, whether innocent victim or willful accomplice, Jesus died for every one of us. His perfect-purity and righteous-holiness will cover any and all sin if we are willing to bow before him and ask for forgiveness and redemption. His gentle arms will wrap around and comfort the broken-hearted, the desolate, and seemingly forgotten. Jesus unlocks the door to the prison we are trapped inside. He helps us, step by step by step, to lay the shackles down and move forward into his embrace. Chains we are unable to break, He takes off and carried for us. He is that tiny speck of Light in the darkness that grows brighter the closer we draw to it. Heal us Lord Jesus and make us more like You.
I had to stop reading this devotion by Ellen for just a few minutes. NOTE: Neither I or my kids lived or experienced what Tamar did, But we did experience an in justice. It was a very painful evening almost 2 years ago when I saw something that no mother should ever see (or experience), no son should experience at the hands of his own dad and no daughter should watch. Almost 2 years later I can still “hear” my son cry himself to sleep. And my daughter and I in my bed crying. Had to stop reading this devotion because I couldn’t stop crying. I am hopeful that one day God is going to heal my memory and memory of my children. I am a living testimony that you don’t forgive and forget. We can never forget BUT we can forgive and move on. Someday our hearts will heal completely. BTW. I did finish reading the devotion.
Correction: the above was almost 3 years ago not 2. Not that that makes a huge amount of difference but it was two years ago I finally decided to do something about it.