surprised by motherhood

Text: Colossians 1:17, Philippians 1:6

Today, we get to share something a little different. And yet, it’s not really different at all.

We’re still talking about Truth – but specifically today as it applies to womanhood and motherhood.

We know that only about half of our community is mothers, but that we are all daughters, all wrestling our way into making sense of our womanhood and whether or not we are called to be mothers.

And we know we all matter to God.

Today, we want to share our friend Lisa-Jo Baker with you. “She was eighteen and growing up in South Africa when her mom died, and she swore she would never have kids. But then she fell in love with an American boy with cowboy-green eyes, married him, and now, a decade and two continents later, they have three.”

That’s the first bit off the back of her book jacket. Don’t you already want to know more about Lisa-Jo?

We’ll start with a video that is worth watching three times through and then forwarding to at least five women who came to mind while you were watching – because they will come to mind.

Then we’ll ask Lisa-Jo just one question. Because – what a privilege to get to ask the author of “Surprised by Motherhood” a question!

And then we’ll set you free – if the video and Lisa-Jo’s words haven’t already! – to go about your days, walking just a little bit taller, in a fresh coat of grace and maple syrup.

Did you watch it twice? Be honest, did you cry in public?

If the video buoyed you in your calling, may we recommend her new book that releases today? Inside the beautiful, watercolored cover are 215 pages of soul-bearing, grace-giving, true life. A beautiful story told by a remarkable writer.

And now, my question:

Lisa-Jo, I think chapter 4 might be my favorite. So many emotions – from your description of capital-C Church, to hearing the news that your mother’s cancer was advancing. I ached for you as so many people who should have simply loved you well, delivered messages of shame instead. And I understood as you dug in your heels in response to your circumstances and declared that you’d never submit to the cliche of motherhood. But most of all, that last paragraph on page 43 – when the stranger at your new church in Boston spoke the TRUTH to you that so many women need desperately to hear:

“I think God wants you to know it doesn’t matter to Him.
God wants you to know that whether you ever have children or not, He loves you for you.
And what He wants most is for you to love Him back.”

This freed my heart too, friend. As a mama who wanted many many children, but whose eight pregnancies only yielded two living children and a whisper of failure, I needed to hear that too. 

 

 

Heh. That wasn’t a question, was it? Let’s try this again…

Raechel: Lisa-Jo, the SheReadsTruth community is about 50/50 when it comes to having children of their own. If you could sit them all down in a room, hold their faces in your hands and speak one truth to them about Biblical womanhood, what would it be?

 

Lisa-Jo: The truth is, we all mother in one way or another – either our own children or the kids we teach or the teens we mentor or the babies we’ve carried but never held in our arms. We mother the women we love on when they’re burned out, wrung out, tired out – we mother them with the words we offer into the Internet, their homes, and lives. We all mother in one way or another.

But it took me a long time to find that truth. I was the girl whose mom died a week after she turned 18, the girl who swore off motherhood, the girl who believed her story had to be bigger than just being someone’s mother.

Today I’m the woman who believes that God doesn’t ask us to trade who we are for the label of “Mom.” Rather, he builds all the courage and calling of a lifetime into a story line big enough and rich enough to encompass kids, passion, work, creativity, and dreams that don’t end in the labor and delivery ward.

I’m also the girl who believes that Jesus saved the best till last when I finally became a mother.

But I’m just as convinced He would have loved me the same whether I ever had kids or not. It’s right there on the front dedication page of the book.

This is my broken, backwards journey from losing a mother toward becoming one. And discovering that Jesus loves you for who He made you to be and not for who you might one day produce.

Beautiful, broken, stained-glass-pieced-back-together you. A masterpiece. In Him, you are enough.

Because He looks deep into your wash and rinse and repeat routine whatever it holds – kids and play dates or long commutes and cubicles, laundry and dishes, crayon masterpieces and late nights with friends, holding out for hope, for a raise, for love, holding on to faith and friends and fellowship, juggling your commitments, your time, your kids’ sports and your mind, and He says, “that. is. mine.”

In Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17.

Your past and your future and most especially your today.

Mother or daughter, in Him we are already complete because He completes all things. Of this I am sure — “that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6.

You are a mighty community of life-givers and change-makers. Thank you for inviting me to share. I could not be more honored to sit with you today.

much love from one weary, scatter-brained mama to so many others,
Lisa-Jo

 

“Surprised By Motherhood”

• A generous gift, Lisa-Jo is making available the first three chapters of Surprised By Motherhood to our community for free. (Thank you, friend!)
• Surprised by Motherhood releases TODAY! You can get it here.

This book makes me want to send surprise copies to some of the mothers and non-mothers in my real life who I know need to hear these words – over and over and over.

Consider loving the mothers in your life well by sending them a copy with a little note?

And please treat yourself to a copy as well.

And sisters – rub it in – let it really soak into your soul today: 

God wants you to know that whether you ever have children or not, He loves you for you. 
And what He wants most is for you to love Him back.