Text: Colossians 1:17, Philippians 1:6
Today, we get to share something a little different. And yet, it’s not really different at all.
We’re still talking about Truth – but specifically today as it applies to womanhood and motherhood.
We know that only about half of our community is mothers, but that we are all daughters, all wrestling our way into making sense of our womanhood and whether or not we are called to be mothers.
And we know we all matter to God.
Today, we want to share our friend Lisa-Jo Baker with you. “She was eighteen and growing up in South Africa when her mom died, and she swore she would never have kids. But then she fell in love with an American boy with cowboy-green eyes, married him, and now, a decade and two continents later, they have three.”
That’s the first bit off the back of her book jacket. Don’t you already want to know more about Lisa-Jo?
We’ll start with a video that is worth watching three times through and then forwarding to at least five women who came to mind while you were watching – because they will come to mind.
Then we’ll ask Lisa-Jo just one question. Because – what a privilege to get to ask the author of “Surprised by Motherhood” a question!
And then we’ll set you free – if the video and Lisa-Jo’s words haven’t already! – to go about your days, walking just a little bit taller, in a fresh coat of grace and maple syrup.
Did you watch it twice? Be honest, did you cry in public?
If the video buoyed you in your calling, may we recommend her new book that releases today? Inside the beautiful, watercolored cover are 215 pages of soul-bearing, grace-giving, true life. A beautiful story told by a remarkable writer.
And now, my question:
Lisa-Jo, I think chapter 4 might be my favorite. So many emotions – from your description of capital-C Church, to hearing the news that your mother’s cancer was advancing. I ached for you as so many people who should have simply loved you well, delivered messages of shame instead. And I understood as you dug in your heels in response to your circumstances and declared that you’d never submit to the cliche of motherhood. But most of all, that last paragraph on page 43 – when the stranger at your new church in Boston spoke the TRUTH to you that so many women need desperately to hear:
“I think God wants you to know it doesn’t matter to Him.
God wants you to know that whether you ever have children or not, He loves you for you.
And what He wants most is for you to love Him back.”
This freed my heart too, friend. As a mama who wanted many many children, but whose eight pregnancies only yielded two living children and a whisper of failure, I needed to hear that too.
Heh. That wasn’t a question, was it? Let’s try this again…
Raechel: Lisa-Jo, the SheReadsTruth community is about 50/50 when it comes to having children of their own. If you could sit them all down in a room, hold their faces in your hands and speak one truth to them about Biblical womanhood, what would it be?
Lisa-Jo: The truth is, we all mother in one way or another – either our own children or the kids we teach or the teens we mentor or the babies we’ve carried but never held in our arms. We mother the women we love on when they’re burned out, wrung out, tired out – we mother them with the words we offer into the Internet, their homes, and lives. We all mother in one way or another.
But it took me a long time to find that truth. I was the girl whose mom died a week after she turned 18, the girl who swore off motherhood, the girl who believed her story had to be bigger than just being someone’s mother.
Today I’m the woman who believes that God doesn’t ask us to trade who we are for the label of “Mom.” Rather, he builds all the courage and calling of a lifetime into a story line big enough and rich enough to encompass kids, passion, work, creativity, and dreams that don’t end in the labor and delivery ward.
I’m also the girl who believes that Jesus saved the best till last when I finally became a mother.
But I’m just as convinced He would have loved me the same whether I ever had kids or not. It’s right there on the front dedication page of the book.
This is my broken, backwards journey from losing a mother toward becoming one. And discovering that Jesus loves you for who He made you to be and not for who you might one day produce.
Beautiful, broken, stained-glass-pieced-back-
Because He looks deep into your wash and rinse and repeat routine whatever it holds – kids and play dates or long commutes and cubicles, laundry and dishes, crayon masterpieces and late nights with friends, holding out for hope, for a raise, for love, holding on to faith and friends and fellowship, juggling your commitments, your time, your kids’ sports and your mind, and He says, “that. is. mine.”
In Him all things hold together. Colossians 1:17.
Your past and your future and most especially your today.
Mother or daughter, in Him we are already complete because He completes all things. Of this I am sure — “that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6.
You are a mighty community of life-givers and change-makers. Thank you for inviting me to share. I could not be more honored to sit with you today.
much love from one weary, scatter-brained mama to so many others,
Lisa-Jo
“Surprised By Motherhood”
- A generous gift, Lisa-Jo is making available the first three chapters of Surprised By Motherhood to our community for free. (Thank you, friend!)
- Surprised by Motherhood releases TODAY! You can get it here.
This book makes me want to send surprise copies to some of the mothers and non-mothers in my real life who I know need to hear these words – over and over and over.
Consider loving the mothers in your life well by sending them a copy with a little note?
And please treat yourself to a copy as well.
And sisters – rub it in – let it really soak into your soul today:
God wants you to know that whether you ever have children or not, He loves you for you.
And what He wants most is for you to love Him back.
Nice post, I totally agree with you, it really only once per week to blog writing is better to get an article published in-depth and just write every day than the informative posts.
happy mothers day
I can't wait to read this book…. it mirrors our story/ journey perfectly. God's grace amazes me! Thanks for sharing :-) http://www.OnLoanFromHeaven.com
Wow, this spoke to me in so many ways I don't even know where to begin. I'm not a mother yet, but I do have a niece which my mother and I have raised since before she was one, I must say I can relate to many of the things discussed in the video. Our bond exceeds a niece and aunt relationship and I must say I enjoy every part of it. We argue and fight but at the end of the day we forgive and forget just like a daughter and a mother would.
At the same time I have been blessed with the opportunity to be the youth leader in my church. At any opportunity give I find myself mothering both the girls and the boys in the youth group. Before reading this post I always thought that in order to be a mother one had to physically be a mother to a child of their own, but this post clearly breaks all boundaries and teaches us that we were mistaken.
I have been married now for two years, and we recently decided to try to have a baby. We have been trying for a few months with no success and at times fear enters my heart. The many questions that go through our minds when trying to conceive right? but in my case my number one question is, God are you punishing me for having had an abortion at the age of 20? I must confess at times my terrible decisions of the past comes back to haunt me, and I end up beating myself up for having made such an insensitive decision. But today God spoke to me and he told me “my daughter you are not broken you are enough” and even if I give you a child or your own or not “I will love you for you for who you are and all I want is for you to love me back”. God's will is perfect and his plan for my life is perfect. Therefore, whether God blesses me with a child of my or not in his eyes I'm still complete and can continue enjoying my motherhood through my youth group and my niece.
God bless you and thanks for this post.
teary – eyed, such amazing words to empower mothers…this is totally for my Mom, my sis and my grandmas…
"Beautiful, broken, stained-glass-pieced-back-together you. A masterpiece. In Him, you are enough."
Oh, my tears today. This brings to mind Psalm 27:10 – "Even if my father and mother abandon me, The Lord will hold me close." – NLT
I have struggled my entire adult life with searching for validation from my earthly relationships. I found this scripture after a particularly bad time with my mother (again) and this gave me the freedom I needed finally to Let. Her. Go. For good.
My focus is on Him. My husband and children are earthly, and while they are wonderful gifts, they are from Him, and He is my focus.
To those that have lost your mothers, whether physically or spiritually, I grieve alongside you. To those who have held your babes in your wombs, but not your arms, I embrace you tightly and lift you up in love.
Amen! my niece was also abandoned by her mother at an early age, and I can hear her pain through your comment. May God bless you and continue filling in those empty spots in your heart, because at the end of the day all we need is him. God our father, our savior, our everything!
Wow. I don't have children yet, but the video was touching nonetheless. Then, reading the book chapters was so moving. I love how whether you are a mother or not, have a mother or don't, you can connect with Lisa-Jo's storytelling. I will definitely be purchasing this one. Thanks, Lisa-Jo, for your message and shared love.
So many mothers and mothering moments come to mind, here, but one sticks out vividly.
This past summer, I was a nanny for one little girl, age 3. Her mom had to leave early in the morning, and as I showed up, her mom would slip out as quietly as possible, or she'd have a fit of separation anxiety. Most days, her mom wouldn't slip out well, and the little girl would scream and cry "Mama! I need you!" as I held her back. She'd cry for up to 15 minutes after her mom left, relaying "Mama, I need you" over and over again– over time, the screams would turn into bleary whispers, just as honest. She'd fight me at first, but then turn to me, and I'd pick her up, cuddling her on the couch to comfort her crying. Holding her in my arms, feeling her tears cover me, and comforting her screams with steady words, I saw how honestly profound her need was for her mother; it echoed my own heart's cry to God in a way I had always been "too strong" to let myself express. Feeling the weight of many fresh, deep heartbreaks that happened to me all at once this last May and June, there were times I cried with her, both in empathy for her pain and in acceptance of my own brokenness, crying out to God after so many months of avoiding honesty with Him.
Those moments are still vivid in my mind, bringing tears to my eyes. God set me free from the bondage of "being strong" that I had known for a long time: He let me know that it was okay to be as bleary-eyed, raw and desperate with Him. That it was okay to cry out "Abba, I need you." I'll never forget the sweet, profound moments of mothering and mentoring the Lord has allowed me to have through nannying and tutoring. Lord, thank you for showing me so much of yourself through your children.
Wow, thanks for pooring out your heart to us. May God continue using you in these children's lifes and may he continue to teach you throught them as well.
I so appreciate this today. My life has become a little overwhelming and every day I’m feeling like I’m in a hamster wheel. I love mothering my children, they are such lights, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Trying really hard to find time for me and encourage me, so that I can show them through my healthy love of self, that they are special too! I don’t want for one moment in their life, the three to doubt that they are loved and more valuable than many sparrows and it starts with me. This word and video just helps further encourage that for me! Thank you!!!!!