Text: Lamentations 2:12-22, Psalm 51:15-19
Among the many traits the girls in my family have acquired from their mama (enormously wild hair and enthusiastic thesaurus-reading not to be forgotten), is that fact that we possess some pretty sensitive souls. I mean, we feel all the feels. My mom likes to tell the story of how, at age four, I completely lost it because my dad gave me a goodnight kiss and did not equally place both his lips on top of both of my lips. I’m still reeling from the rejection. What that means in my current household, though, is that during any watching of children’s movies, insurance advertisements or yes, even game shows, my finger must be constantly poised on the remote control so I can power “off” when the offending purple minion, car accident dramatization or embarrassingly wrong Final Jeopardy response comes on screen.
Admittedly, when I read through these very dark, very sorrowful passages in Lamentations, I wish I had my finger on the remote control and could power “off.” The destruction, the groans, the torment—it is unbearable. And the author, once a matter-of-fact eyewitness, is tortured, his heart pouring out on the ground because of the devastation God has inflicted against a sinful people (Lamentations 2:11). In other words, he gives new meaning to “feeling all the feels.”
But isn’t that the point? How can we truly experience real repentance without sorrow?
God wants nothing less than broken spirits and contrite hearts when we come before Him for His forgiveness. Any ritualistic sacrifices, any well-crafted prayers, any flowery pleas for mercy—without being genuinely crushed by the true tragedy of our sins—are utterly and totally meaningless. God wants only your authentic expressions of repentance, no thesauruses required.
God doesn’t want us to just be “bummed out” by the consequences of sin in our lives and our world, He wants us to know what true, godly sorrow looks and feels like. He wants our hearts to break like His, and for us to gather up those messy hearts and bring them before Him laid bare, without pretentiously tying them up in a neat little package.
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart…” (Psalm 51:17). Nothing more. Nothing less.
My remote-control strategy of parenting has backfired into sleepless nights a time or two, with those last-seen images burning into little minds and re-entering them, unfortunately, right at bedtime. I quickly learned that I had to, somehow, help my children get through the hard parts of the narrative if they were ever going to see and appreciate how the story ends. I don’t want them to miss it.
We have a Father who loves each and every one of His children enough to break our hearts, so that our own story never actually ends at all, but lives on with Him for Eternity. Even though it costs us the anguish of standing in the midst of the ugly destruction of our own sin, it cost our God far more—the sacrifice of His own precious Son. He will bring beauty from the ashes—and more than anything, He doesn’t want you to miss it.
Sarah Matheny is an ever-growing, ever-changing gal, laughing and living in the Pacific Northwest. One-time attorney, food blogger, and author, all-the-time wife and mom to three wild-eyed, spunky girly girls, she’s passionate about her family, her friends and growing in her walk with Christ as He dishes up an always unpredictable, but totally delicious life.
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113 thoughts on "The Sacrifices of God"
Sarah Matheny–Thank you for emphasizing the need for a broken spirits and contrite hearts (Ps 51). It’s too easy to toss of “I’m sorry” and move on…true repentance is heart searing.
true, authentic repentance. that got me.
God desires us! He desires relationship! The same way a kid just doesn’t want the best birthday gift from his dad if his dad isn’t there for his birthday. There can be no love without relationship! Thank you God for desiring relationship with us when we have behaved like prostitutes and broke what you so beautifully designed. Thank you!
Sometimes we can’t escape the sorrow…we have to learn from it. We have to humble ourselves enough to come to the Lord bare and broken, desperate for His love to fill us back up again. Humble my heart Jesus, so my pride doesn’t keep me from running to you. <3
Goodness me – I read and I feel but I know that’s not enough. I type here before I pray this realisation to the Lord and I know that’s not right! Do any of us honestly see the true devastation that happened in the Bible. I personally am truly and overwhelmingly blessed and shame on me for being blind to that and being over sensitive thinking life is such a challenge. Praise God for the life he has given me, Praise God for the Grace he pours over me and the mercy he never withholds x
Psalm 51 in the Message version gets me every time!!
Psalm 51:16-17 MSG
Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.
Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.
Heart shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape Gods notice.
I love that! it brings my heart such peace!!
I love this! Thank you for sharing!
Wow! Thank you for sharing this!
Wow, I completely relate to the sensitivity mentioned in this post. It's sometimes hard to know what to do with it. But the brokenness I experience more easily than others does draw me closer to God. It makes me more aware of the sin of the world, but also of God's goodness by contrast.
God wants nothing less than broken spirits and contrite hearts when we come before Him for His forgiveness….When we come before the Father with broken spirits and soften hearts we can rest assured that unlike any other relationship on earth that we can trust Him with our hearts. He breaks our hearts only to fill it with Him.
Thank you for this. I truly pray to “feel all the feels”. To have a broken and contrite heart,,, I get it now! Thank you so much.
If I ever needed to hear God loud and clear…. This was the day. I found out some tough news today that hurts my pride and scares me to death, but I know God is fully God and in the business of restoration. I'm finding that the restoration part is painful, and a slow process…. it hurts. It aches. It seems hopeless and bigger than we can handle. I pray that I turn to Him in the face of all that's going on, because my heart is so heavy, yet He is so good. Such a good Father.
This is what I need! I need Him to break my heart, to completely demolish everything I have in me, so that He can start from scratch. I can focus more on Him and His will for me. So many times in my life God has slammed doors in my face and I have ignored Him and tried to reopen old doors. Looking back I can clearly see that it was Him working in my life but I didn’t know it at the time. He has a plan for me. I just don’t know exactly what that plan may be. I feel that breaking my heart and starting from scratch is the first step to Him showing His will to me. Thank you for this answer! It has opened my eyes.
Amen!
Megan I’m new in this study and catching up but wanted to let you know I’m praying for you. If you were truly saved back then, nothing you have done will make you lose your salvation… It is God that does the ‘keeping’, not us- thankfully! I know it’s confusing sometimes for people who got saved at a young age (that was me too). I pray God will keep working on your heart and if you aren’t sure about the reality of your salvation then you can be saved TODAY! Don’t look to your feelings… Look to His word! ‘Christ died for the ungodly! Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. To as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God’ :) wow!
Jo-thank you for taking the time to write, relate, and encourage me with truth. “He does the keeping.” How awesome is that! And yes, I do believe Jesus and receive Him as Lord so now to keep walking in truth and fix my eyes in the right place. Thank you again! :)
Amen Jo. :) Praying for you right now Megan.
“God wants nothing less than broken spirits and contrite hearts when we come before Him for His forgiveness … God wants only your authentic expressions of repentance, no thesauruses required”. Nothing less is enough. It has to be real. Is it? Can we even trust ourself to know? Crazy …
Praying for you Megan!
Thank you Paprika!!!
Hi Ladies! I wanted to ask for prayer as the Lord leads. I believe I was saved as a young child and have walked after Him but have had continued times of waywardness. After some very sinful relationship choices last year, I am questioning if I was ever saved and if my relationship with God can be salvaged. It seems there is bondage there that I cannot even figure out much less set myself free from, and I am struggling to find repentance in some very hard areas of my heart. It feels like hitting a wall. I know the only hope is through Jesus and His blood. I need Him so! Thank you!!!
Prayers for your freedom. Lord, help Megan walk in the truth that she is your precious child, your beautiful daughter, and that you are patiently and gently tugging on her heart to return to you completely – fully repentant and fully aware of Christ’s sacrifice for her – so that she may live joyfully and freely in your presence. In Jesus’ precious name, Amen!
Thank you for your prayer Jen! Believing that He is answering that!
Megan you were saved the moment Christ died for you. It was all paid for and done on the cross. There is nothing more you can do…. It is FINISHED. You just need to rest in his grace girlfriend. Let striving cease!
Thank you Hayley! I definitely needed to be reminded to stop striving. Sometimes I think His grace is too good to be true but just need to receive it in trust. :)
Megan you would never say that you know the only hope is Jesus if you did not belong to Him! If you didn’t you would not even recognize your need for Him. That you are not saved or a child of God is a lie from the pit! God bless you and look to the cross, He died for you knowing all you would do in rebellion. He loves you!!
Thank you Kathy!!! What a blessing to read those words of truth. Looking to the cross!
I agree. AMEN. Your relationship with the Father is the one you can know is salvageable, no matter what. It’s the One that is worth all your effort. Keep looking to Him to allow in you to forgive yourself And let His beautiful Love fill all of those places of humanity. Grace and peace is yours today in Jesus name!
My ‘word’ for the year is ‘Break’ and comes from a driving down the road, crying my heart full out to God and asking him to Break my heart-and not just break it but shatter it into a thousand pieces so that I could find my way back to feeling His presence, feeling His compassion for the world around me again. I have spent years building walls to hide my hurt and pain, to hide my truth from those who thought I was too sensitive, too feely, too everything and it made me hard. Not stronger-just hard. Crying out to be broken is a prayer He honors and I feel myself coming slowly back to life. This study has been a part of that breaking/returning and reading each day has become a beautiful shattering and I am so grateful-thank you!
I love that the things we ask for as we mature in Christ are things that the “world” would say are crazy and backwards. Who asks to be broken and poured out? Only those crazy Christians, right? For we know that the Truth will look like foolishness to a world that chooses not to seez
My word for this year is abandonment. So frightening as I have spent my life abdomen over and over by people since I was four. God is showing me what it means in Him. The other abandonment meaning is leaving and God is setting me free Of life long fears, trust issues, and many other things. Praise Him!
“Pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.” What power in this visual. I’m praying today that God would give me the ability to truly pour my heart and spirit out as an offering. To be emptied completely, and refilled and refueled with Him. My sins, my brokenness, and my failings are often overwhelming to me, but instead of pouring this out I hold it in, let it fester, and I lie in a pool of my own misery. Why do we feel the need to wallow in our guilt? Today lets give it up freely, and ask God to make us new again!
Thanks for your encouraging words, Shannon! Love to you!
xoxo-Kaitlin for SheReadsTruth
I am so fearful of pain. I am so fearful of pain that I’ve spent a lot of time mad at God for letting me feel it and a lot of time avoiding God because I was afraid He’d let me feel it again. I’d like to avoid sorrow of any kind at all costs. Please and thank you. But if I’m honest with myself, it is in those times of sorrow that I’ve found myself nearest to God. It is in those times of sorrow that the blackened parts of my soul are revealed and exchanged for something beautiful. I want to learn to embrace the sorrow that is connected to repentance. It’s so difficult to pray this–but I want sin to give me a broken and contrite heart. I want to be genuinely crushed by the tragedy of sin. Because then I can fully repent. Then I can see sin and the gift of redemption more clearly. If I am overwhelmed with the sorrow of sin in the valley, then I can rejoice in the overwhelming gift of the cross on the mountaintop.
Bless your heart for sharing, Sarah. I gave my same fear to the Lord yesterday, and when I opened up the comments section there your response was. In it He graciously reminds me that I’m not alone and that with each other we may have the courage to be broken in order to be restored. Sometimes it’s scary to pray something that you know needs to be prayed and needs to be done in order to grow nearer to God. You are not alone in this and I admire your courage. Let us be overwhelmed with the sorrow of sin in the valley, so that we can rejoice in the overwhelming gift of the cross on the mountaintop. Amen!
Thank you for sharing, I can SO relate. And I am praying the same thing.
I have been participating in this study each day without sharing comments. It is an if my brain is not connecting with my heart in this study. I have been feeling guilty for not drawing from this study what so many of you seem to be. And today it hit me, I have spent more time crying out to God the last few days than I have in a long time. No well worded prayer, just simply, God I Need You, God Break me, and a few others that I have chosen to share only with Him. I have never read Lamentations. And it is very difficult to understand, so God has convicted me to read commentaries and lessons taught over this book. It is deep, it is convicting, and it is bringing me to my knees. . . which after all is what His Word should do for us. Thanks for all that you have been sharing, it has truly blessed me. And thanks SRT for this study. It has become a real eye opener for me.
Amen, Gayle.
Don’t worry, Gayle. A lot of the time I also feel like I’m not “getting it” like everyone else is. But God know you in this exact moment is He is preparing to give you understanding in due time, which seems to have been today. Praise God! He hasn’t forgotten about you.
Love it, Gayle. That's all He wants. You.
Kelcie – God has created and called us to “feel, and feel deeply.” Perhaps it would help to find a couple people you could be entirely open with when you feel something, big or small? if we’re able to share those emotions, non believers can then see the peace we also have from our God, and they see we’re human too. Also, if we can share our emotions, it helps with sharing the gospel too. Part of that feeling deeply, I think is also so we can be truly sorry for our sins and truly appreciate how big our God is.
Sarah!!! So good to "hear" from you again! I miss your writings and your blog so much!
I'm still waiting to hear about what happened on your cross country family vacation with the dog!
Happy to hear you and your family are doing well!
Hope to hear more from you – whether it be on this site or if you go back to blogging someday
We are well, Valerie, thank you! The Lord just kind of busted our world open by adding our youngest daughter (she's 2 years old…and very, very, very 2) to our family this summer and we are just soaking in this season and all its challenges and triumphs. Following His lead with every step (and that doesn't feel like blogging is in the plan). Thank you for your well wishes. Blessings to you! (oh, and we never took that road trip, but turned home about 8 hours in) :)
I try to come before God with a broken spirit. I will sit there and think about my sin over and over until I'm blue in the face and try to make myself feel brokenhearted over them. And while I do feel guilt, I don't feel exactly broken. How silly and wasteful are my attempts. I don't need to make myself. All I need to do is pray that God would open my eyes to my sin and break my heart for what breaks His. I've asked this before and the Lord did exactly that. What it lead me to was a humility I've never experienced and confessing my sin through tear stained eyes. But in the midst of the brokenness, you feel yourself being put back together with brand new pieces. Pieces created by the Creator. And He's stitching you together with love, with comfort, with righteousness.
Lord thank you for this reminder how you want a broken and contrite heart – nothing more or less!
Like many have already said, I am a person who does not "feel all the feels." I'm an even-tempered, steady, rational, practical "good girl" who has walked with God since… as long as I can remember. I have always struggled with being broken over my sin and feeling "crushed" by it. Sometimes I truly wish I was more of person prone to "feel" so I could have a different experience with God. And while I DO need to realize more the severity of my sin (though they might not be outward and "mainstream"), I have also learned that the make-up God gave me (a faithful, even-tempered, follower of Him) is the way He wanted me. I have an experience with God that others don't and there is no right or wrong "make-up" of our temperments.
Perefect for those of us that get too caught up in the details–
Nothing more–"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart…"– Nothing less.
You've already heard it, but I'll add that I've missed the way you illuminate the Word. Thanks for the treat Sarah.
I pray for true repentance and a desire to share my faith with others. Those sins, that life which pushed me so far from God also make it hard for me to align my words with Him. I have precious friends and close ones who are not following Him. I pray for strength in the Lord as I seek His will. I pray to cling not to my feeble morality but to a love and sacrifice of a Savior. May my life be one transformed by the Gospel and sway others accordingly.
I like to think of my life as a book — plenty of chapters, some great, some sad, a lot of it hopefully wonderful. I think that when I get to heaven there will be my book. I love that today you said, “our own story never actually ends at all but lives in with Him for Eternity.” Exactly!
This was exactly what I needed to read today.
I feel like this was written for me- I am trying to be truly repentant for something I have done. Not just sorry it happened, but fully understanding the harm it did to others and really feeling their pain and my pain at being a sinner. I’ve been glossing over that pain, but I need to acknowledge and feel it if I am really going to be broken enough to let God change me.
I feel stuck. Stuck between the life God wants for me and the life I’m actually living. Life seems to be standing still. After the chill of winter there are many ‘dead’ places in my life that need filling. And the only place of life (in my life) is my marriage. I love my Husband dearly and truly believe that God brought us together. But I feel that as I try to go deeper in my relationship with Jesus, it might push my Husband away. I know that at times my pride can rear its ugly head and I can be a know-it-all when we read the Bible together. Yet I can’t help but have a little fear that I’ll move too fast for us or ‘leave him behind.’ And I don’t want that. I want to grow together.
I want to live the life that God has for us. Not a cookie cutter, pre-made mold of what I think it looks like to be a Christian, but an abundant life full of intention and grace and love and joy designed for us. And I feel so far from that & sometimes have a hard time believing it exists.
I know this is a little off topic today. But I’m having a hard time with bringing my brokenness to God knowing my Husband might break differently or not at all. Then again, maybe I’m holding all (!) of this a little too tightly…
Please pray for me, ladies.
I’m praying for you today, Beverly.
I appreciate your prayers, Rene.
Praying for you. All in His timing, even spirits being broken are in His time. Just keep praying Gods will for him, not yours.
Thank you, Amy. I appreciated the reminder – God's will and not my own. His ways and plans are SO much better than anything I could ever do or hope for.
Beverly – these are beautiful words. Praying for you today that the Holy Spirit would continue to draw you close and bring you wisdom and truth – our God loves you so much!
Michelle, your encouragement was such a blessing to my heart. Thank you.
Hebrews 10:23 “let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering for He who promised is faithful”!
Beverly, if you’re giving it all to God, you can’t go wrong! :)
So simple yet so true. Thanks, Bethany. :)
Beverly, I used to have the same exact fear, and I let it keep me from experiencing Jesus in His fullness. When I finally let go of that fear and started pursuing God on my own, without worrying about what my husband was doing, two amazing things occurred. I fell in love with Jesus like I never had before, and my marriage (that wasn’t bad to begin with) improved! And now my husband is growing more in his relationship with the Lord. I wouldn’t go back to where we were for anything. The closer you get to Jesus, the more you realize that all that matters is how well we love. And of your husband is feeling more love from you, he will be drawn to you (and Jesus!), not pushed away. Run hard toward Jesus. You won’t regret it!
So grateful for your wise words and encouragement, Stephanie. Your experience gives me such hope! Thank you for sharing.
Wow! Beverly, I think I’ve been feeling the same way and just not known how to put it into words. But you did so eloquently & I just want the same things! Thank you for helping me to see what my heart has been searching for. And Stephanie, your encouragement means so much!!! Thank you for sharing your experience. I’m taking a leap of faith today & running hard after Jesus. I hope you’ll join me, Beverly. Praying for you & your hubby, sweet girl!
Yes! Joining you, Nicole, to run hard after Jesus! Taking the leap of faith too. :) Thank you for your prayers.
Beverly I loved what you wrote. I will pass on something an older (& I'm 71 now) & wise Christian woman told me. She & her husband very devout in their walk with the Lord & reading of His Word. "A husband & wife will never be on the same page Spiritually."
I've lost two husbands within a four year period. The first of 48 years, the second of seven weeks. God has brought me to a place of peace but I still grieve over them. Sometime within a few minutes of each other. I know that's weird. The pastor that led my first husband to the Lord told me: "Women are wired different then men, we are more "relational". Neither of my husbands was in the Word. But my late husband was hungry & I was able to share with him in the brief time we had. God will give us each, individually, only what we can handle & understand in His Word. As a leader in a Bible study (BSF) I know I am not as deep as some of the other women & that bothered me. I felt guilty as if I weren't putting enough time or myself in it. But I know my limitations. I also know when I read God's Word, & I "get it" & it makes me feel really alive inside, that's all I can hope for & thank God for. Praise God for a husband that is IN the Word of God. C.
Carol, I am so sorry for your losses. I cannot imagine losing a husband, but I'm glad God has brought your heart to a place of peace and comfort. This was so encouraging – "God will give us each, individually, only what we can handle & understand in His Word." I agree and appreciate that you shared your story. Saying a prayer for you now, sweet Carol.
In the early days of our marriage, I began to pray for God to mold my husband into the spiritual leader in our home. At that time, I was the one who led out in spiritual development. Today, my husband is in full time music ministry and on staff at a local church. Remember, the prayers of the righteous availeth much. I also had to pray for humility and a submissive spirit for myself.
Thank you, Cheryl. Praying for a humble, surrendered heart to God so that I can better serve my Husband (and everyone else!)
Mama pea! So happy to see you writing here- I’ve missed your words so much!
Thanks, Jessica! Hello and blessings to you. <3
I just wanted to say thank you for writing this part(quoted below). I am glad I am not the only one who has been feeling this way about this book. This 2nd section has been rough on me so far.
“Admittedly, when I read through these very dark, very sorrowful passages in Lamentations, I wish I had my finger on the remote control and could power “off.” The destruction, the groans, the torment—it is unbearable. ”
All to often I have a broken heart over things of this world and changes of plans (an uninterested boy, a lost job or ministry opportunity, hurt pride, etc.) and yet I hardly feel grief and broken-heartedness for sin, especially habitual sin that it seems like I'm committing then confessing more often than I like. "Oh wretched [woman] that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin." Perhaps then my emotions are part of my physical makeup and sinful flesh, which means emotions may not come when they are supposed to since my body suffers the effects of sin. And when those emotions do come, they are a gift from the Lord. Lord, give me a broken heart and contrite spirit
I sat here this morning, after reading this devo, pondering if I’ve been contrite enough, broken over my sin enough. I know that my feelings cannot determine my proximity to God, because my feelings will lie to me. My feelings fluctuate too much to be reliable.
What is reliable is the Word of God. His Word says that if I confess my sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us (me) and to cleanse us (me) from all unrighteousness. I may not feel that, but it is the true state of affairs.
If I have repented sincerely then I know, because He says, that I am forgiven. Whether I feel forgiven or not. Whether I feel that I was crushed by the enormity of my sin enough, or not. Continually, I mess up. Thankfully, God’s well of grace never runs dry. Certainly, we must see sin for what it is and the wedge it drives between us and God. But just as certainly, we must believe that God is true to His Word, regardless of how we “feel”.
I think you hit the nail on the head here. I too get confused by different parts of scripture at times so it helps to stop, ask God for direction and clarification, and to continue to search out other scriptures on the same subject. Most times, my questions and misunderstandings will be cleared up… either through the Word or through someone else interpreting the Word in a sermon.
Feelings can get us in trouble many times. I am a Child of God, and I believe God loves me unconditionally. He hears His sheep when they call. When I come before Him and confess my sinful heart that's not all there is to it. I don't just dump it off at His feet and walk away. He works with me at that point to correct me and help me make that repentant turn around toward Him through His Word, other people, and/or circumstances in my life. It happens over and over and over as He continues to mold and make me into the person He wants me to be.
As far as brokenness goes, I know that there aren't "degrees" of sin to God, but there are degrees to us here on earth. Perhaps our brokenness is based around the degree of sin or around the consequence of that sin. Perhaps that's where our "feelings" come into play… you know, with how that sin makes us feel when we come into the presence of God… kind of like Adam and Eve were ashamed when they had sinned. The worse we feel we've sinned, the more broken we are. I don't really know, but He does know our hearts. If we truly want to be like Him (and as Christians we do) then I believe our hearts are broken, and we are ashamed anytime we come into His presence with sin. Maybe that's why we must daily confess our sins and ask him to give us a clean heart.
It is the wedge that crushes our spirit… Or at least it should. Any time away from our Lord should feel like eternity and should be worth no temptation or fleshly act. To walk more and more everyday by the spirit.
Amen sister!
It's all about His Grace. He has saved me. He is saving me. He will save me. Titus 3:5. He saved us not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His great mercy. By the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit.
Sarah!!!!! I've missed you and your writing so much. Homegirl here, BTW. I remember when you became more open about your love for Jesus on the blog and it really inspired me to always be open about my faith and His divine intervention in my life. Hoping you and your family are healthy and happy! <3
Brooke, hello! I am so thrilled to be able to say that to you. I am humbled by your words. He always wants us to share our walk because His glory (not our own) is what draws others to Him. And want a whole mess of us in Eternity! Our family is doing amazing, with our new addition this summer, and just enjoying this season He has for us right now. Love to you and yours as well!
The devotion today really spoke to my heart that grief and repentance has 2 levels. the grief of my sin and what is has done to me and others; but the deeper level is what it has done to My Lord. As the scripture states in Prov. 51:4 Against Thee, Thee only, I have sinned. how much easier is is for me to feel sorrow for the pain I have caused in my disobedience; because I too am a feeler. but to take that inward awareness and take my focus off of me and place my focus fully on God is much harder. I am so very grateful that He loves us enough to bring us to our knees and promises us that He will fully meet us there!
God help me have a broken and contrite spirit! I don't want my repentance to be superficial, spoken with insincere and flowery words. But, our hearts are deceitful – they can make us "feel" like we have truly repented when I haven't! Holy Spirit reign down!
I like the way the Msg put the passage from psalms: “Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered. Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.” (Psalm 51:16-17 MSG)
This reminds me of how my husband is always saying that people have to "get lost" before they can get saved. It's a funny way of saying it, of course, but there is a comfort in embracing the pain and sorrow of the realization of my sin that leads to true, peaceable, godly repentance. Why I don't seek it out more, I'm not quite sure, other than it is just that…. painful. I'm still human, and I still tend to avoid pain when I can.
The passages from today reminded me of the seriousness of sin. God does not take our sin lightly. Lack of knowledge is no excuse. Following the wrong teacher is not a pass on recognizing and confronting our sin. False teachers who do not expose "your iniquity to restore your fortunes" (Lam. 2:14) are not for us. They are against us. The Lord will carry out His purposes. He is patient with us and kind in order to lead us to repentance, but when time is up, time is up, and there will no longer be mercy for us who do not repent. I don't want to be the brunt of that wrath. Praise God for Jesus!
On the one hand, God is not at all pleased with our flowery efforts to gain His approval and forgiveness. On the other hand, He is greatly pleased when we fall on our faces before Him and allow Him to be pleasing to Himself through us. Not my effort. HIS effort. When God does "good to Zion" and "build[s] up the walls," then He delights in the right sacrifices and burnt offerings we offer out of His work in our hearts and lives (Psalm 51:18-19). Only Jesus can satisfy the wrath of God against my great sin, and despite my great sin, God gave me Jesus. Continue to change my heart and make me mold-able, Lord.
Have a blessed day, ladies!
This confuses me a bit. I've heard other people say that too… you must "get lost" before you can "get saved," but what about children who are raised in Christian homes and accept Jesus at an early age. They haven't had time to "get lost," and isn't that our hope as parents… that we teach our children about Him so they will turn to Him early and skip all the falling and tough love that comes with that?
For me, I was saved (as in head knowledge) at an early age, but it wasn't until my late high school years that I feel like I made the decision to give Him my life and follow Him (is that heart knowledge?). I suppose there was more recognition of my sins and my need for Him at that point, but I don't know where the point of salvation came. I knew Jesus came and died for me when I was 8. I knew that if I didn't accept Him and that gift and live my life for Him that I would die and go to hell. It's only that there wasn't much to turn away from at that point in order to follow him. I wasn't really lost in a life of sin. Sure I had it, but it wasn't suffocating me.
So ultimately… I don't really know what exact point salvation happened nor do I feel I need to know that. All I know is it has happened, and I'm in. I'm fully committed and in it for the long-haul. My confusion mainly centers around my kids. Just because my 7 year old doesn't have a long list of sins in his past, does that mean he can't recognize sin as sin and let Jesus come into his life and save him from it?
It helps me to remember that salvation is “all God”. Nothing we do as adults or children. Our growth in Him is a journey, sanctification.
Good morning, Meagan! Your spiritual journey and mine sound very similar, actually! I have an 8 year old, almost 6 year old, and a 2 year old, so I completely understand this concern. I believed in Jesus at the age of 5, and no, I didn't have a lot of big sins to turn away from. However, I'm not sure I understood at that point that, even though I "had" sin, that I was a sinner. I think my salvation journey began at that point, but I'm not sure I completely understood just how badly I needed Jesus until I realized that even though my sin was not as large and unfortunate as the sin of so many "sinners," my sin still separated me from a holy God, from the lies I told as a 5 year old, to the impure thoughts I entertained as a preteen, to the just wanting not to rock the boat and fit in a little more as a teenager and college student. Those don't seem like much in the scheme of things, but they are sin, and as long as I own them, I cannot be allowed into the presence of a holy God.
Our 8 year old prayed to receive Jesus of his own accord two years ago. We have not pursued baptism yet, because as his main disciplers, we want to make sure he understood what his prayer for salvation meant. The goal is not simply to escape hell and go to heaven when we die. The goal is to live a holy and pleasing life to the Lord by His Spirit, being obedient to the commands to go and tell, to love one another as He loves us, to glorify Him with our lives now so that nothing on this earth is more important than His glory to us. I don't think that is a one time, light-switch-turns-on moment. It is a process, and as long as we are growing in that process, even though we are imperfect as yet, we can know we are on the road to salvation. I never understood that when I prayed to receive Jesus at the age of 5. However, I see God's hand of guidance and protection on me, guiding me to a greater understanding despite myself through my early years. Not everyone will get our great need of Jesus at the same age. For some of us, we're older. Some children are wise beyond their years and understand at a point I could never even imagine having understood.
We try to firmly and lovingly call our children out on their sin, even though it isn't the "big" stuff of "big" sinners. We don't hold it over them, but we will from time to time ask them questions like, "Why do you need Jesus? How do you sin? Can you name any of your sins? Can you get into heaven on your own?" We want them to understand that God created them uniquely and wonderfully, but that in and of themselves, nothing good dwells in them unless they have Jesus. They are not able to follow enough rules or avoid enough wrong on their own to make them o.k. with God. Only the washing away of sin by Jesus Himself makes them acceptable to God. I was a rule follower growing up, to the point that I didn't feel like the things I did do wrong were really all that bad. We take our role as our children's disciplers very seriously (not that others don't, but I'm just telling you our journey here), and do what we can to lovingly point out the sin behind wrong actions, the attitudes of not trusting, the selfishness of the desire to control what they cannot control, etc. And we try to be very quick to say we are sorry, to admit our most obvious sins before our children, and to ask them to pray with us that God will help us not to sin in those ways anymore.
Like gnomie said, salvation is all God. The journey of salvation He begins in our lives will not be cut short. He is in control. If He is at work in our children's lives, He will use even their limited understanding to draw them closer to Him and will not allow them to be lost if they are His. But I believe the journey is the most productive when anyone, adult or child, realizes that no matter the depth or shallow nature of our sin, we are lost and separated from God without Jesus. I know that was a long reply, but I hope it helped.
Thank you! That really does help, and it makes sense. What you described is very much how we are discipling our children as well.
My husband was raised in a different denomination than I and was saved when he was older. He made the decision to give his life to Jesus, and he definitely understood his need for God. I on the other hand responded to an alter call and most likely went because others were going. Of course I felt like I was talked into understanding and salvation at that point, and baptism soon followed. Not that I'm against alter calls or talking with a young person to make sure they understand, but like you said so well… I understood Jesus died for me so I wouldn't go to hell, but I don't think I understood how MY sin separated me and I needed Him. Like I said earlier, it wasn't until I was in high school and I was surrounded by what I viewed as "real Christians" that were my age that my heart desired that. I desired that love and fellowship they had with the Lord, and I too wanted to devote my life to Him.
It makes sense that it's a journey… not always a one time thing. I can't really speak for others who feel it's a one time thing or feel that they were saved as a young child. Again, I've never been sure that my experience as a child was THE time for me.
As far as my children go, we do talk to them a lot about sin… even about how God used sinful people in the Bible to serve Him and how they continued to sin even after they were following Him. I want them to know that Christians aren't perfect. I want them to know we will always struggle with sin and that's why we need a holy God who forgives us and cleanses us. We also talk a lot about what it means to live as a Christian and what that looks like.
We talk a lot about the things you mentioned talking about with your children. My oldest is 6 and he feels he was saved last summer at VBS, but I too am not sure he fully gets it so we do talk about it a lot. I feel like he, like me, understands, but I'm not sure his heart is understanding or his head. He says he's saved and going to heaven and that's what we go with… we just discuss it more. At some point I'm sure he will ask about baptism, and we'll discuss it more at that point. I do want to be sure of their salvation because for so long I wasn't sure of my own. Thanks for your thorough response!
Being a visual person, this video really got to me yesterday and I think fits in line with our theme these few weeks of repentance
http://21martyrs.com
Hope this helps some others process the 21 martyrs but also repentance.
I love how Jenn said “I don’t think there is a ‘correct’ amount of brokenness, but I believe that the evidence of brokenness is found in the fruitfulness that comes from a heart and soul that were broken by sin and brought back to life by the redeeming power of God. ” I just love that!
Crush my heart with my sin, Lord, that I may truly feel and appreciate Your mercy and forgiveness. Powerful message today. Wow.
what would it look like for me to be “genuinely crushed by the true tragedy of my sin”?
mulling this over and wondering if I’ve glossed over how my sin causes tragedy and how few times I’ve allowed myself to be uncomfortable as the weight of it crushes me.
father, forgive my trite and polished prayers that are empty of true sacrifice. break my heart and humble me. amen.
"Even though it costs us the anguish of standing in the midst of the ugly destruction of our own sin, it cost our God far more—the sacrifice of His own precious Son. He will bring beauty from the ashes—and more than anything, He doesn’t want you to miss it."
I really have a thing for a few particular styles of old furnishings. I love to head to a flea market or store and find a hidden piece just waiting to be taken home. I have few items from my parents and I think that the lines of farmhouse style table or a midcentury chair give me a sense of "home". Not to mention, the stories that each piece contains. I think about the families that sat around our 100 year old farm table. The meals prepared, the conversations and laughter shared, the tears. It ais s if a bit of them live on in my home. One day I found an old buffet. It's shape and design reminded me of a dresser we had growing up. One I watched my mother lovingly bring back to life. It sat beautifully in every house we lived in. I brought the buffet home determined to bring it new life too. I sanded and scraped. AND sanded and scraped. The deeper I got into it the more "bruises" and surprises I found. It was as if it sat in a garage for years, falling apart until one day someone said, "let's slap a piece of wood here, glue there and a fresh coat of paint on it and entice some sucker to buy it". Yup, I'm the sucker. But I was in love with the piece. How it made me feel. I know I know, it's just wood, but I too "feel all the feels" and it was a sight to me. I sat one day in front of it, dust everywhere from sanding, holes in it's side, with it completely bare….exposed entirely. I did not throw my stuff down, put it on the curb and walk away. It pained me more to see it's damage, but I wanted to make it new. I wanted it to be a centrical piece in our dining room. A place where we would host friends and family. One that would go to my children. So I examined it. I bought everything I would need to mend it and I went to work. Today that piece stands complete with my old farm table bringing a bright touch to a simple room. No, it's not a piece people will swoon over, offer hundreds of dollars for or not notice the way the crooked door catches….BUT I will love it. I will always smile when I see it, I will always remember it's initial state, I will take pride in it's unmasked beauty.
I believe God sees us that way. No matter how much time we spend hiding from Him, how many bruises we have, how mistreated we feel or how much we have failed, He can strip it all away and stand back in awe of His masterpiece. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, He desires to see us as our whole selves, no fig leaf, no pride…. bare, unconcealed in front of Him. There is no amount of marring or sin around us He doesn't cover or correct. We must remember that like my buffet had layer after layer of paint, God can peel back the mess. He can scrub away our pride, our pain, our wrongdoing …. It may not be a painless process, in fact, it likely won't be, but it will leave us ready to accept the Grace God wants to adorn us with, His loving Mercy to repair and bring us back to Him, to give us a life that will light up a room for Him, one that He will look to, recall the way He found us and smile at the beauty that came from it all. ~ B
Love this! Thank you!
I'm such a visual person – THANK YOU for your post! It resonated with me deeply.
Oh I love this! Thank you for sharing. I can see that it is so sweet to have a visual reminder of JESUS right there in front of your eyes every day.
When I did a Bible study years ago, the truth of this message really came off the pages of my workbook. Godly sorrow brings about a change in our life, it makes us think different, act different, be different. Up until that point, I had 'sugar coated' the sins of my youth (I once was an early 20 something that was a great rule follower filled with guilt over my college weekend choices) as making me the person I was in my mid 30's. However, once I realized that even though those events and decisions helped mold me, I needed to see them as the offenses they were to an ever loving me God. When that day came, my eyes opened up to a whole new realm of reality in the way I would parent my children, doing my best to help them learn and understand God's Word so they wouldn't (hopefully) make those same mistakes. I don't think there is a 'correct' amount of brokenness, but I believe that the evidence of brokenness is found in the fruitfulness that comes from a heart and soul that were broken by sin and brought back to life by the redeeming power of God.
Jenn, that was well put. I, too, struggled with that guilt after being born again. Then I gave it all to God in submission and He bathed me with the Holy Spirit. Being fruitful with the many blessings and helping others through struggles is a blessing. It sounds like you are firm in your faith and walking hand in hand with Him. Blessings.
"I don't think there is a 'correct' amount of brokenness, but I believe that the evidence of brokenness is found in the fruitfulness that comes from a heart and soul that were broken by sin and brought back to life by the redeeming power of God." Beautifully said Jenn.
Today’s passage scares me. Now I feel like I’ve never truly repented and God won’t hear me if I’m not broken enough. Oh man. All of the anxiety.
Kelly,
I sometimes have difficulty interpreting the Word of God, but I don’t think that’s the case. God hears everything. He knows what is on your heart. I don’t think there’s a measurement for being “broken enough.” One’s repentance doesn’t need to be a well-crafted, wordy speech to Him. As the author of today’s blog entry states “God wants only your authentic expressions of repentance, no thesauruses required.” Let your repentance flow freely from your heart, showing your feelings and sorrow. I most oftentimes begin as though it’s simply a conversation between us. Listen and He’ll speak to your heart:)
We all express differently. Whatever your words are or however the outward expression of your feelings look (tears or no tears) God knows what’s truly in your heart when you come to Him <3
Kelly Lynn, I am not one to "feel all the feels." I don't cry easily. It is tempting for me to feel like my repentance is not good enough if I am not as outwardly broken as another. Don't allow any outward expression to be the measure of your inward repentance. Are you sorry for your sin? Do you turn, choosing the path that God has for you instead of the path your flesh desires? That, to me, is the true measure of repentance–a changed heart. John MacArthur says, "Ritual without genuine repentance is useless. However, with a right heart attitude, sacrifices were acceptable." Only you and God know your heart (and most often He knows my heart much better than I do!).
Nicely said, Kelly!
Thank you for sharing this, Kelly.
I think this can be a way the devil tries to bring you (us) away – instead of admitting I cannot do things (even repentance)right and looking at Christ and His cross, the devil wants us to keep looking at ourselves and keep trying, keep working. God knows we are dust, that we fail at so many things but what He wants your heart, your honesty, your trust
You don't have to every single day be broken about every sin of your whole life. But when the Spirit shows you sin in your heart, be broken about that, confess it. That's what God wants. It's not a constant state of brokenness. We're forgiven, he sees the past sins no more! But when we do sin, mourn it, repent, and move on as the ashes turn to beauty. Don't be anxious, beautiful. You are good.
Girl. I hear you. I have laid awake nights in torment, convinced that my “inadequate” repentance was sending me straight to hell. To be fair, I’ve struggled with anxiety over “losing my salvation” or brig rejected by God for as long as I’ve been walking with Him. Repentance is a gift of the Holy Spirit and I was convinced that I had done something so bad, He was withholding it from me. No one could convince me any differently and I was in a severely unhealthy place, both mentally and spiritually. This took place off and on for almost seven years, with the latest round leading to extreme weight loss (because who can eat with that kind of anxiety?) and chest pains that landed me in the emergency room. And then…God’s grace. I found a website that talked about “Christian OCD” or “scrupulosity.” There is so much to be said about this, but I already feel as if I’ve said too much. Long story short, I started taking anti-depressants (which are certainly not for *everyone* but have been a tool used mightily of God for me) and feel like a new person. The anxiety is gone. The fear is gone. And for once I can walk with Him without thinking that anything I feel or don’t feel can separate me from His love. If your situation is anything like mine was, (or if anyone reading this can relate) I would love to explain further. Stand firm, friend! The enemy will do anything to convince you there is no hope, but God will never leave you or forsake you.
Kelly Lynn, the evidence of our repentance is not found in the way we grieve our sin, but in the change of our lives. My mentor and good friend said it this way, I have had times of great sorrow over my sin that led me to repentance and times where I had little sorrow, little guilt, only the knowledge that I am wrong and I have done wrong and am still in need of forgiveness & repentance. Even that is okay, because the ACTION is still repentance and allowing Jesus to begin transforming that area of sin. Don't let Satan frighten you or make you doubt that what you're doing is inadequate. God knows the heart. It isn't about contriving or molding your personal reaction to fit what someone else's reaction may be. If it's repentance God is faithful to redeem & honor that!
Oh Kelly Lynn, boy do I relate!! Isn't that one of Satan's greatest messages? NOT ENOUGH. You're not broken enough. You're not good enough. You're not worth enough. God's not loving enough. God's not willing enough. God's not good enough. These are thoughts I struggle with daily and one of the biggest things that can make me doubt my salvation. Something that helps me is to think about the Trinity and how they are separate but working together.
God- powerful, Creator, sovereign, just
Christ- merciful, accessible, freely giving of Himself
Holy Spirit- present, comforting, searching
Those are just a few small examples, but you get what I'm saying. When I tend to focus too much on the God of the Old Testament, I always find myself very scared. In those moments, it helps to look to Christ of the New Testament. Read Lam 2 again, but think of all that wrath and just punishment being given to Christ instead of us.
Kelly the fact that you're worried about not having truly repented is proof that you are truly repenting. Just keep struggling with these issues and working through them! I'm right there with you!
That’s the deal with grace, dear one. We can never be good or broken enough. It’s not about being right for Him but simply recognising the grace we have received from the cross :-)