The Peace of God’s Presence

After a couple of years characterized by sorrow, my family was ready for a fresh start. On the heels of fresh grief from the death of my husband’s mom, we moved our family of five—the newest member being only two months old—to a new town. We were worn out and weary but ready to welcome the fresh start coming our way.

As we settled into our home, I longed for the familiar even though I knew I needed to embrace the new. After a few weeks, the novelty of living in a new place was still there, but I was also beginning to process all of the loss our family had walked through the year prior. Imagine my surprise when days into the new year, just one month after our move, I awoke in the middle of the night with a fever and chills racking my body. I was struck down with COVID, bedridden and angry with the unfortunate turn of events. 

So often, we look to our circumstances to provide peace for us. But the benefit of walking with God is that He Himself is our peace. In Exodus 33:12 and 15, we read Moses’s plea for the people of Israel as he says to the Lord, “Look, you have told me, ‘Lead this people up,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You said, ‘I know you by name, and you have also found favor with me’…If your presence does not go…don’t make us go up from here.” Moses saw the Lord help him and the Israelites through insurmountable obstacles. There were moments of doubt and triumph alike. Now as the next part of the story began to unfold, the cry of Moses’s heart was, “Lord, don’t leave me now!” He needed the reassurance of a God whose unfailing love would not let go. 

Great was the temptation to pin my hopes on a new year and a new town to bring me peace and joy after a year full of transitions and sorrow. However, while lying in bed with no option but to rest, God showed me that in His presence, there is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11). The solitude I experienced while sick in bed brought me to a place of gratitude for God as the only constant in the midst of a season characterized by loss. I received the help offered to me from my husband, family, and friends. I chose to remember His faithfulness in my yesterdays, knowing that He would be the same tomorrow. Each of us fights the temptation to allow the experiences of our lives to define our peace, but the only source of peace and joy is the presence of Christ.