You’ve probably been there—that terrible moment when you feel like you’re watching a train about to wreck. Your roommate chooses to stay in a toxic relationship. Your child makes a series of self-destructive decisions. Your brother or sister persists in a state of total denial. Your friend walks away from God.
Helplessness is a special kind of agony, especially when it comes to our loved ones. This is the agony Paul expresses in Romans 9 about the choices of Israel. Having had his eyes opened to the light of the gospel, Paul realizes with great anguish that many of his people—God’s people—have not awakened to the good news of Jesus Christ. Theologian N.T. Wright describes Paul’s reaction this way: “[Paul] was like someone driving in convoy who takes a particular turn in the road and then watches in horror as most of the other cars take the other fork.”
Paul’s sorrow is so great that he would rather take their place: “I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the benefit of my brothers and sisters” (v.3). This chapter, then, is not a cold, calculating explanation of Israel’s history and fate. Instead, Paul is wrestling with the mysterious ways of God, and he doesn’t arrive at many neat and tidy conclusions.
In Romans 9, Paul engages some complex theological questions, but if we zoom in a bit and look at his heart, we might recognize our own. Most of us have walked in Paul’s shoes—grieving the rebellion, blindness, or self-destruction of someone we love. From Paul’s own wrestling with heartache, we can discern two spiritual principles:
First, none of us can boast. None of us stands on moral high ground. God’s grace was not extended to us on the basis of human merit but divine mercy. That is the principle Paul points to throughout the history of Israel: Isaac, not Ishmael; Jacob, not Esau. These men, these chosen ones who constituted the line of Abraham, were not selected because of their outstanding moral character, but because of the free compassion of God. As Paul explains, “it does not depend on human will or effort but on God who shows mercy” (v.16). In other words, none of us can pat ourselves on the back for our good choices or our strong faith while silently judging others. It is all a gift, so none of us should boast.
Second, God is sovereign. The relationship between God’s power and our free will is a mysterious one, indeed. But when it comes to the decisions of a loved one, God’s sovereignty removes a great deal of weight from our shoulders. Namely, we cannot force someone to make the right choice. We cannot yell someone into wisdom. We cannot wrestle someone into agreeing with us. And we cannot compel transformation. There is only One who directs the streams of human hearts, and that is God alone.
The sovereignty of God does not permit us to become callous, nor does it permit complacency. Like Paul, we should mourn destruction whenever we encounter it. But it can relieve us of a burden we were never meant to bear.
Only God knows the whole picture and the entire story. Our task is to share the good news to the best of our ability, in humility, and then prayerfully leave the rest to Him.
CEE CEE— I am using a KJV. Have never read this translation before, which is why I chose a study Bible, so the commentary would help me.
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Praying for you MICHELLE PATIRE May God be with you and hold you in His right·eous right hand
Tricia C I am praying for your kids and grandkids.
Praying for you and your dad. That’s such a hard situation.
“Only God knows the whole picture and the entire story. Our task is to share the good news to the best of our ability, in humility, and then prayerfully leave the rest to Him.”
So well said. ❤️ This reminds me of something I heard once, talking about feeding the 5,000 and how it’s not our job to feed the 5,000 but to supply the bread and fish. We know our limits and do what we can, what God calls us to do, and then leave God to do the rest and pray His will be done. It also reminds me of the Serenity Prayer, which is simple to understand but tougher to apply.
“We should mourn destruction whenever we encounter it. But it can relieve us of a burden we were never meant to bear. Our task is to share the good news to the best of our ability, in humility, and then prayerfully leave the rest to Him”. These words could not come at a better time. I have been struggling with my lukewarm/backsliding hubby and I feel so defeated. As much as I love and respect him, his wrong choices from not renewing his mind with the Word hurts us as a family. Leading by example for years and years does not seem to work. I am just so discouraged. I would appreciate your prayers so I won’t grieve or be consumed with frustration. “Leave the rest to God” -this would be my mental reminder and motto to live by. Some burdens are not for us to bear. I will choose joy and surrender my tears and struggles to Him. Enough is enough. In His presence, there is fullness of joy. I have been meditating on these verses, and asked God to make it happen for me, “Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD” (Psalm 112: 6-7). Thank you dear she’s for your transparency today. I love doing life with you dear sweet and faithful she’s. Lifting you up in prayers (JESSICA MARSEE, LIBBY K, ALEIDA & VICTOR, CHELSEA SEXTON, VICTORIA E, TAYLOR, SARAH D AND OTHER SHES)
@SEARCHING: glad that you’re back. You were so missed!
@ERB: thank you for the quote from Susannah. Let afflictions draw out praise from our lips (and not murmuring and tears).
@KELLY (NEO): amen on our limited perspective that is tainted with sin. We must not box God into our ideas of how He should save. He has millions of ways and solutions to save any of us at anytime. Waymaker, miracle worker He is.
So thankful for your wisdom and insights daily. Be blessed dear sisters.
My church is dying. My dad is the pastor and my family has put countless hours into it for over half of my life. It’s a very weird and sad feeling that I’m discovering. But so many people have left, whom I thought I was close with, but God has a plan, and I was able to shift my focus on how I think of the people who have left our church family. There are perfectly good reasons to leave a church, and regardless God has just as much mercy on me as He does them.