Scripture Reading: 1 Samuel 28:1-25, 1 Samuel 29:1-11, Deuteronomy 18:10-12, Proverbs 1:28
One frigid winter evening when my husband was still in grad school, I tried to call him. He had been out with friends after finishing finals, while I was already home for Christmas, several states away. When he didn’t answer his phone around 9pm, I wasn’t too worried. I called again an hour or so later, just before I went to bed, and he still didn’t answer. Then I sent off a few texts, each more worried than the last, hoping he would respond.
I darted in and out of sleep, checking my phone, calling, and texting, until about 4am, when he finally texted me back to say he had fallen asleep well before 9:00—the hard, deep sleep of a post-finals student who had forgotten to charge his mobile phone, rendering it useless. And while we were quickly able to laugh about it, I can still feel my heart racing when I think about how I felt that night, several states away, not able to get in touch with him for hours. I would’ve done anything for an answer, for the assurance that he was okay.
Saul is in a frantic panic in 1 Samuel 28. He knows the Philistines are ready to fight at Mount Gilboa. He knows God has rejected him as king (1 Samuel 15:23). He knows Samuel is dead—Samuel, who had been with him since his anointing, who’d walked with him and guided him in the ways of the Lord. Desperate for answers, Saul has sought the Lord about how he should face the Philistines. But the Lord is silent because He’s rejected Saul, leaving him to feel very, very alone.
And so Saul, the warrior king who’d chosen his own pride over the Lord so many times before, again seeks his own comfort and control first. He consults a medium—after declaring all mediums illegal and sending them out of Israel—for the answer he so desperately needs. He asks her to bring forth Samuel, who appears and tells Saul that he and his sons will die in the next day’s battle.
I can hardly breathe if I put myself in Saul’s shoes. The desperation he must’ve felt before visiting the medium would have been silenced by that cold truth. He would lose the battle. He would no longer be king, nor would his sons inherit the throne. The years of turning away from the Lord and seeking his own glory had left him there, alone.
When I think about how often I obsess over the future—running worst-case scenarios through my head, working myself into a panic—I realize that I’m tempted in the same ways Saul was. It’s so much easier to take matters into my own hands, to live for my own glory, and to forget about the Lord’s steadfast faithfulness. Perhaps if Saul had reflected on how faithful the Lord had been to the people of Israel, he would’ve trusted the Lord for one more day.
So the cup I have to drink today is the cup of the Lord’s faithfulness. It is to choose trust and faith over fear and control. It is to recite to myself the promise Moses made to Joshua in Deuteronomy 31:8:
“The Lord is the one who will go before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or abandon you. Do not be afraid or discouraged.”
The Lord goes before me. He knows and numbers my days. And I have confidence through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus that God always keeps His promises. I may not face Philistines in battle, but I will face temptation, fear, and death as surely as Saul did. And so I pray that an unshakable confidence in Christ will be my only and blessed assurance each day.
Melanie Rainer is the director of content for JellyTelly, where she writes and edits family spiritual formation resources. She is a graduate of Covenant Theological Seminary, a passionate home baker, and makes her always-messy home with her husband, Price, and their delightful daughter, Ellie, near historic downtown Franklin, Tennessee.
“So the cup I have to drink today is the cup of the Lord’s faithfulness. It is to choose trust and faith over fear and control.” Thank you! Been looking for a verbal way to start my day, casting off my self-made righteousness and plans, taking in the presence of our Father. This is it.
God’s timing is just so, so amazing. I had a wonderful experience this morning while showering. Long story short, I’ve been wrestling to rid some nerves and fears surrounding an upcoming pregnancy. I’ve been scared about the timing of getting pregnant because I have some significant Latin America travel coming up. I know I need to trust Him but I’m terrified of all the morning sickness while traveling (all professional). I drank too much last night with coworkers and felt horrible this morning. I had this thought enter my mind that said “don’t take your nausea medicine. Trust me” and I prayed quickly to understand if that was really Him or not (I pray about that daily because I struggle to know what fleeting thoughts are my own or His. I ask for a sign. The water pressure cuts in half immediately then returns after a couple of seconds. I stare in silence and awe. I got my confirmation on Him speaking to me, the trust in Him on the future pregnancy AND all because of that – I now know I can truly trust Him to lead me through the difficulties of stopping drinking. It’s never been out of hand – social situations, normal dinner drinks, but my husband is a minister and overcame alcoholism and has wanted me to stop for a while. Everything came full circle today as I sat down to read this tonight. Amazing. Truly He is SO GOOD.
Melanie,
Thanks you for sharing! My husband and I just decided we’re going to try and start a family and it has been a daily challenge to hand it over to God. I want to plan it and control it but when it comes down to it, im pretty helpless. I struggle with the fear of not being able to get pregnant but this study has truly been instrumental in reminding me that worry and fear are pointless when we serve a God that is so powerful and faithful. Praying for you this morning for courage and perseverance.
Continuing to declare the battle is already won, the outcome has already been determined, my God will not forsake me …my fear, despair, loneliness are all from the enemy trying to keep me from feeling safe and secure in my heavenly father’s embrace.
Love what you wrote secure in the Father’s embrace
I pray when I feel that desperation as Saul, I will run to the promises of God and lean into Jesus instead desperately try to find answers, direction and approval from others.
It’s been a rough day. I’ve been in pain, tired and a bit of a daze. When I saw my supervisor, I wasn’t my best or close. Thankfully, he understood my grieving mind but I felt so disoriented. I need Jesus. I feel scared. Like I’m going to keep failing. My anchor feels uncertain though I know the Lord is not going anywhere.
Hi Karen, we are continuing to pray for you and keep you in our thoughts. Will also be praying that you are able to find support and community with a spiritual leader or church in your community during this time. – Abby, SRT Team
Thank you. It’s a rough season but I do have supportive friends and church
While thinking about taking matters into our own hands, these verses from Isaiah came to mind:
“Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the word of his servant? Let him who walks in the dark, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God. But now, all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches, go, walk in the light of your fires and the torches you have set ablaze. This is what you shall receive from my hand: You will lie down in torment.” (Isaiah 50:10-11)
God is the light in our darkness. When I first read this verse about a year ago, I felt so convicted. How often do I light my own torch when I’m in the dark rather than letting God be the light? ALL THE TIME. And He makes it very clear: relying on myself rather than Him doesn’t end well! May we trust God to be our light when we walk in darkness.
Amen!
Good words!
I needed to hear this today. God’s timing is perfect! Thank you for bringing us His word, His truth, and your thoughts and experiences on them. So grateful for this community and its leaders.
God’s word and the timing of this particular devotional are so perfect for circumstances our family is facing. Thank you <3