Text: Psalm 51:1-12
“It is because of the hasty and superficial conversation with God that the sense of sin is so weak and that no motives have power to help you to hate and flee from sin as you should.” ~ A.W. Tozer
Write out a prayer of confession:
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Ask the Lord to help you come to Him with a heart open to honesty and a willingness to be shifted by Him.
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Confess the sin that has been weighing on you and ask the Lord to give you eyes to see the things you need to confess that you may not see.
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From the heart, express grief over sin, thank Him for forgiveness, confident of His pardon, and ask Him for the grace to walk as a new woman, since you are freed from the power of sin and death.
I soo identify with you Junebug and Lauren C! It is such a battle of and with “self”!! I try and want to so desperately to forgive and let go. I haven’t spoken to my oldest brother in 13yrs now. He’s never even met my twins or my youngest daughter. My 12yr old son whom I’m having a great deal of trouble with, is trying to track him down thru Facebook and the internet- without my knowledge or consent. I had gotten to the point of wanting to see him and letting the past go, IF I manage to go and visit my sister in L.A., where he lives also. When it became known to me he was trying to contact my brother, I was trying to explain to him why we had such a huge falling out so long ago and I ended up just exploding with hurt and anger about it all!? I really thought I’d gotten to the point of forgiveness, but obviously NOT. It is all about not letting it go, hanging on to my hurt SELF so I can be justified in not forgetting what happened and why I have a right to be leery of him interacting with my family- especially a troubled, impressionable boy looking for a role model or father figure. I just don’t trust him. I can’t seem to get over it or past it. So I guess I’m stuck Sisters… can I learn to forgive him from afar, and is it OK to not open that door again?? I don’t want him to hurt my kids like he hurt me. Can you forgive and leave that person out of your life? I need help on this one, time is of the essence, and I may never have the chance for a face to face discussion again…
Do you let someone back in?? Or leave it as is and work my side out with God?
ANY thoughts would be appreciated!!
Thanks Ladies, and have a blessed day! :)
Ellen MR…I don't know the circumstances of the break, but I don't need to. I do think you can forgive someone and still not allow them in your life or your kids' lives, especially if the other person continues to be the way he was. Do you know any different? One thing I learned in the Soul Detox Study was that some relationships are toxic to the point that we cannot let them in. I am praying for you. I do think you need to find out about your brother's current state of mind, behavior and relationship or lack thereof with Christ.
That's a tough situation Ellen MR! We also have a family member whom my daughter has not met and probably never will until she is grown, Lord willing. I personally believe that we can forgive people and love them from afar. If your brother is not safe for your children to interact with, I believe you have done the right thing to protect them. And, it's okay if you need to sit your kids down and explain how you are working through it. They will love you just the same.
Of course, every situation can be looked at case by case. In the case where a person who has hurt you in the past has a personal relationship with the Lord and is seeking reconciliation with you, you can ask some important questions.
Are they owning and changing the behaviors that you deem unsafe or hurtful? How? If the answer is yes, there may be hope to be closer. Maybe it's wise to start out with emails, facebook or skype to test the waters at first. Pray for discernment to know whether to open that door. Check carefully for signs that it's safe for him to be close to your children. Until then, we are told to pray for our enemies (those that hurt us). And if you decide it's wise to keep your distance, you can still do the work of forgiveness and love him from afar.
Praying for you and your family that you will find peace in whatever you decide sister!
I completely agree with Carolynmimi & JuneBug. I don’t know the details of your life but it seems clear your children come first, as it should be. I read a wonderful article in Guideposts magazine called “Forgiveness 101” that was so good, I ripped it out & I keep it in my journal. I just pulled it out for you; it was written by a psychologist named Dr Fred Luskin for the November 2011 issue. To quote the article: “Forgiveness changes the present, not the past. Forgiveness is a personal choice. It’s not about changing the person who hurt you. It’s not about condoning their actions or even reconciling with them. It’s a choice you make to heal yourself.” I am not a mother but I believe when you, EllenMR, as a mother, choose to heal yourself you also allow your children to be healed. The quote from the article makes it sound so clear – and it is – but forgiveness is not easy. I imagine that here in the beginning of forgiveness, we will have to make this choice daily. The best part is that your forgiveness doesn’t have to involve your brother at all if you don’t think it safe to allow him back into your life. Forgiving him doesn’t require him to do or say or be anything. If and when you do let him back into your life & your children’s lives is something to discuss with God. Let Him make this decision. But you can still make the choice to forgive today. I have realized, as I said earlier, that to hold on to resentment & unforgiveness allows a bitter, angry weed to grow inside me. I may not always water that weed but it will stay there & grow & inform everything I do. Look up that Guideposts article if you can. It may be archived on their website. I will be praying for you Ellen MR! I pray that these chains loosen from your heart & God frees you from being stuck. It can be so hard but forgiveness is possible. Praying for you!!
I am so thankful for all of you. Reading your prayers has been just what I needed this morning, as I was having a hard time finding my own words. I am blessed that each of you have been able to speak them for me. I prayed each one with you.
I remember being at church camp when I was younger and even in church singing "Create in my a clean heart". Here is a live version by Keith Green: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rv16YUTCp9U
God bless you all!
I am so blessed when I actually take time to just takl to my husband. he said something today that really hit me. I knew it, but ti really hit me. Every day, I want to do better. i want to have more compassion, more love, obey more. And every day, I fail. then, like I did when I was afraid because my father would yell at me when he was disappointed in me growing up, I would avoid God. but that's so stupid. I can't avoid god! Plus, I think, "Well, if I try myself then He won't have to." but my husband said, "He already did! the game is won! the game is over!" Whether I choose to accept it or not, He already did. i just have to accept it! he did it willingly. I don't have to. why would I struggle on my own to accomplish something that he already did? Seems foolish to write it out, but it's what I do all the time!
Oh boy. Today’s scripture verses are going in my journal, pasted to my bathroom mirror, glued to my forehead. My sin has weighed so heavy on me, I have often struggled to find the words to express my confession & repentance. My eyes have been so afraid to see where I really am, where I’ve willingly placed myself, where I have allowed the enemy to come on in & stay a while. But it’s this: I’ve held on so tightly to the pain, resentment, & unforgiveness toward others who have betrayed me, hurt me, abandoned me. I play those scenes over & over in my mind. I wonder aloud why I can’t “just get over it” but the truth is, I allow it to fester inside me. I choose this each time a memory pops into my head because I choose resentment & I choose not to truly forgive. I thought I was forgiving all this time but in reality I was just putting all of it aside, just to be brought out again & again, to constantly replay in my head, to close myself off from others who want to love me, to hold myself back from truly living. I chose to feel as if “I’m right,” to feel vindicated. But all I’m doing is holding God at arms’ length, giving Him everything BUT this sin. I have chosen to honor my resentment & make it the god in my life when all He wants to do is set me free & be God to me. I have struggled this week but each day in prayer & reading has brought me closer to this realization. I’ve known that I am a sinner, I’ve asked His forgiveness, I’ve thought I’ve accepted it for many things, but I’ve held back this one (huge) area of my life from Him. My minister planted this seed in me during his Easter sermon. Then I read something the other day – “I’m good at trusting God with some things but not everything. If I trust Him & believe Him to be with me here in ____, then I HAVE TO trust Him & believe Him to be with me in ___ also.” And then to paraphrase a quote I read the next day from Joyce Meyer – “You don’t have to understand it all. God does so let God be God in your life.” When I step back, it is clear. I’ve always had a huge need to understand (everything) but what I’m starting to understanding this week is that I may never understand why I’ve been so hurt & betrayed by people who are supposed to love & support me but I AM THE WHO CONTINUES TO SIN by holding onto my pain & resentment toward them and what they have done. This sin is what clouds my mind, chains my heart, makes it so hard to fully accept His grace & confidence in me. It has always been so much easier for me to internalize toxic words rather than God’s truth that no matter what has happened to me, I will be forgiven if I just give it ALL to God. The weight of my resentment, anger, & pain – so crushing. Will you please pray for me that I will finally step out in God’s grace & His confidence in me? This means shedding a long-standing way of life for me & I will feel so grateful for your help SRT sisters. Praise God for this day!
"You don't have to understand it all. God does so let God be God in your life." LaurenC, I relate to what you have shared. I, too, almost demand that God explain it to me…I, too, fool myself into believing I have forgiven, when in fact, I have only kicked the garbage aside, so Satan can shove it back into my path, tripping me and sending back into the torment of all the hurt, living it again, and God, help me, even plotting revenge in my over active imagination. There I am, crumbled, defeated, a battered guilt ridden crying out to God. And He comes. It is time to let him have it all…and still it feels like dying to let it go. And it is, dying to self. Not there yet. Praying for you. Would you pray for me?
Absolutely! We will get there. We can do this!
I spent some time with the Lord earlier and thought I had confessed everything, but after reading today's post I discovered yet ANOTHER layer of the "onion" to repent of.
Father, thank You that You know me so well! You woke me up with a song of freedom and deliverance, encouraging me to run and play in the pastures you have set out before me. I'm free! Yet You have reminded me of an area that I must keep in check at all times. Pride.
You alone are the author and the finisher of my faith. Father, keep my eyes glued on You, pointing others to You…away from me. Bathe my heart and cleanse me from anything that even smacks of "self." It hurts to even type that last sentence because the "self" wants to have some space to shine. I know all too well where this "self" leads and I want YOU, Lord, to lead me to the finish line.
I love You Lord! Thank You that I can call You Abba! Bless my dear SRT sisters today! Wrap Your love around Forgiven like a warm blanket this morning! In Jesus' name, Amen.
Alright ladies, I have some playing and dancing to do today! I think there are some pastures waiting for you to play and dance in too! Blessings!
Ah, Pride, self, I see myself in your prayer and if it is ok with you am praying it also….now, did you say, playing and dancing…let's go, let go, and let God! Thanks, JuneBug! Thank you, Jesus for JuneBug!
Playing & dancing… Me too!!!! It’s a glorious day!
Father, God, I praise you for the recreation of the new day, for your mercy and grace that are fresh for this day. I praise you for the heartfelt prayers I have read here, for changing "Unforgiven" to "Forgiven" not just in name but in reality…a reality we share together all of us who are cleansed by the blood of the Lamb.
And yet Lord God, I am unclean for I have sinned against you. I have tried again to put myself in control of my life and the lives of those I love. I have not trusted you and in fact let worry over details crowd you out. I get so tired, Lord, of trying to run my universe and shoving you aside. Clean me from the inside out, purge me of the irritation and hatefulness that can creep into my mind and then slip out of my mouth, restore in me the peaceful presence of your Holy Spirit, calm me so that I can pause and listen to your voice.
I am dirty, Lord. There is dirt in and on me that fall in my blind spot. Shine your light on those spots and scrub in the creases. I am not worthy, but Lord, I am yours. Grant me a willing spirit to sustain me. And let my heart be full of joy for the goodness you rejoice over and may my heart be broken by the sin in me and in the world and help me not break your heart. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen!
This week I have a song stuck in my head called Alive by Natalie Grant here is the link for it: m.youtube.com/watch?v=x1GzOUnUN20
I really love this song it’s such a powerful song.
Thank you for sharing… such a beautiful song.
Every time I read Psalm 51 I hear this song in my head. I feel like it brings out more emotion involved with confession and repentance than I usually experience – it's somber and carries some grief with it, but becomes joyful as he is "made whole." Hope you ladies enjoy it this day and hear from the Lord through it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WucHt6uno1o