The book of Proverbs is a guide for pursuing godly wisdom in our daily lives. In this four-week study, we will read a selection of topical proverbs covering different aspects of wisdom, from how to interact with our friends, families, and neighbors, to fearing God and keeping His commands. No matter the subject, these proverbs urge us to wrestle with and reflect on our own response to them. To help you better engage with the proverbs in this reading plan, we have provided you with a short introduction and reflection questions for each day.
The last words in the Old Testament tell us the Messiah will “turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers,” healing what is broken between them (Malachi 4:6). Few relationships carry greater room for pain or influence than the parent-child relationship. The book of Proverbs does not assume this relationship is easy or naturally healthy, but it does acknowledge that it has the capacity to shape a young person’s life in beautiful and lasting ways.
Reflection Questions:
Looking back, how did you see the wisdom in these verses modeled for you or not modeled for you when you were younger? What can you learn from that now?
Read Proverbs 10:1. Why do the actions of a child have so much impact on the hearts of his or her parents?
In what ways can the parent-child relationship uniquely cultivate understanding of the gospel in our lives?
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41 thoughts on "Parents and Children"
Such good comments here! I can learn from each of them!
This makes me think so much on how grounded my parents ensured that we are in our faith and what I pass on to my son.
Buy wisdom”, I’m struck by how wisdom isn’t passively gotten, it takes purchasing. How much wisdom I need for raising my little people.
I grew up in church, but my parents are human and had flaws. They did their best but had their moments of weakness. I was well loved growing up. We went to church, did devotions as a family, and tried to live our lives helping others.
All things I want to model for my kids, but ultimately try to do better as well. Making a relationship with Jesus more relatable and not so far away.
I’m learning even with 3 small children that their words and actions can hurt as a parent. When we feel like our children aren’t living right, it hurts.
Seeing God through the eyes of being a parent makes him so much more relatable to me. It gives me perspective. He shows me more and more that he’s my Father, not a ruling dictator on a throne watching us live our lives. He loves me. He shows me grace and mercy every single.
My husband and I put Christ at the center of our home and naturally taught and obeyed His teachings to our children. Both of our children came to know Him at a young age. Our son couldn’t remember actually giving his life to Christ so at 12 years old he nailed it down and was later called into the ministry. He now serves Christ in the church and teaches me. Our daughter is now an adult, married a young man that was not brought up in the church but professed to be a Christian. He has strong family ties and he is a good person. However, the last few years we have seen that their views are contrary to the Bible and Christ’s teaching. They were attending church but not really involved. They haven’t been since last March because of the pandemic. I wonder if they will ever come back. It breaks my heart that we had all those years to influence her and in just a short time as an adult we realize she has been influenced by others so much that she supports what is wrong and has forsaken some of the teachings of Christ. When we are together we have to be careful about what we talk about. She maintains a respectful attitude towards us, but stays away for the most part (she lives a mile away). I don’t want to lose her, but we are becoming strangers and it is breaking my heart. There are so many of my friends that have this same story to tell. It is easy to question what we did wrong, but being brought up in a non Christian home I know that it ultimately comes down to free will and when God calls who will make the choice to follow him.
Growing up, my parents were not religious. I remember going to church with my grandparents for a few years and I had fond memories of that but honestly my mother was a really poor example. She made derogatory comments about god and religion and really warped my view of it. It wasn’t until recently that I had Godly people enter my life and they have opened up a whole new side of me and now we are all growing in God together. My husband and I have been watching livestreams of a community church and we have gotten our kids involved in a type of Sunday school. My 3 year old will tell you that “God is good” and I could not be happier. We plan to continue to grow our children’s faith so they will always have a relationship with God
I believe should lead by example fully. Realizing every one makes mistakes. That we are as scripture train our children in the Lord in the word and take to Sunday school and church. Study word at home teach to pray. Equip them and when possible keep from making the same mistakes you made because all experiences are not profitable. Help them understand the most important relationship they will ever have or need is with God.
Lord help me to always seek you lord cause you are worthy. Hallelujah!
Hi Caroline, thank you for putting your honesty out there. Have you had a chance to listen to any of the She Reads Truth podcasts? They are helpful to me for further insight and understanding. Also, check out the videos and podcasts from the Bible Project. Lots of helpful, simplified yet not “dumbed down” information that brings the words of Scripture in a more visual way.
My late father was the truest example of being a good Samaritan Christian, he was always pure with his intentions, helping and did well to show me the faithfulness in following Christ.
I grew up with good parents but it wasn’t a strong Christian home. I did have a believing Grandma who I know prayed for us faithfully. My walk with the Lord began in my 20’s which is now over 40 years ago. It troubled me that my parents weren’t walking with the Lord but through challenging times I did see each of them turn to Him before passing. We have two children and one that has left church as an adult. When he was a teen , and rebelling in small ways , I began to process what the Lord feels like when His children turn from him. The heartache is real as a parent and it made me more grievous of my own sin towards the Lord. We continue to pray for our son who was witnessing on campus in college and now has no time for the Lord. Our relationship with him is good which we are thankful for.
Amen…powerful
I wasn’t raised in a Christian household, I didn’t come to know the Lord until I was 16, and didn’t actually pursue a relationship with Him until college. I know my parents tried. But there was a lot of brokenness in our home. I think there was some wisdom in “natural consequences”. My dad let us make our mistakes and deal with the consequences of our actions. Because he wasn’t seeing life and parenting through the lens of the Gospel, my dad didn’t realize that it also caused me a lot more hurt, regret and pain by letting me live my life how I wanted to (mostly). But I think a lot of wisdom was lost because it never came from the Lord.
Children’s actions reflect on parents because we help shape them into who they become as they grow. And if they grow and find hurt and pain we see can see that as an extension of something we did wrong or didn’t do in raising them.
The parent/child relationship is similar to God’s with us because He is our Father and we His children. We are imperfect and make mistakes and He gently corrects us and leads us to becoming more holy. As parents we try to raise our children to love Jesus and to love others well. They are imperfect too. But we do it because we love them and want what’s best for them. That’s exactly what God wants for us.
I too was raised as a Christian and walked away from that life in my late teens. I stayed away from GOD for over 20 years. Then my choices wrecked my life to the point of utter humility and GOD’s love became impossible to ignore. JESUS called me back and set me straight. Now my story can help others. Don’t lose hope for your son! GOD is still in control! ❤️
i too struggled with this for many years, but we see it through our imperfect human eyes. The Lord loves us unconditionally no matter our past
(1) When I was younger, we were never raised to go to church on Sundays and fear the Lord. We were taught God is all around us in nature. Which is true, but being in God’s Word and attending church as an adult has opened my eyes to how much more depth to him there is. We were also taught to ve kind to others including the less fortunate. I didn’t always listen to that instruction though. At times I was mean. I brought heartache to my mom whenever I would date guys who weren’t good to me
(2) We are an extension of our mom and dad. When we suffer they also feel suffering too.
(3) The parent child relationship is similar to how God’s relationship is with us. He is our Father and we are his children. When we suffer because of our own folly or others we are causing him pain and suffering. I don’t have children right now so I do not understand this on that kind of level. I do have family though and when they are suffering I hurt too. It empowers me to pray for them though.
Em, this resonates with me so much. Today was a hard reading day for me too. I used to go to church with my parents growing up (it is a cultural thing where I live), but my dad does not know God. He was and is verbally abusive, cold, and angry. His actions have negatively impacted my sister and I to this day (we’re both well into adulthood.) I’m praying for you. And like you I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that shows me affection out of a love and care for me that I can’t imagine and never experienced from my earthly father.
I hope and pray that I will model the love of Jesus for my future children. That they will feel his presence through my love and respect towards them, and that when they are old enough they choose to follow Jesus too ❤️
The reading today and questions were so insightful. Growing up my parents did not know the Lord, however their hardworking traits and the peaceful loving upbringing I received from them has impacted my heart tremendously. I kept part of them within me, the loving memories though we did not have much, but always had enough. I received Jesus in my adulthood after graduating from university, I was slowly changed. A new person and new inner qualities were formed within me slowly- by God’s mighty work and grace, He molded me through rough experiences and also through gentle ones. My parents now (who live overseas) come to visit us and the kids once in a while, they wonder why I read the Bible and play worship songs in the background as I do chores, however the actions I carried out (from fearing the Lord, obeying the teachings, modeling out what I learn through Scriptures) have given them peace, and impacted their hearts in return. I did not realize this until seeing the questions of today devotion (thank you SRT team). So even though they sometimes question the God I pray to, I am thankful that my parents see the fruits of a changed heart within me. As the result (fast forwarding) my mom decided to receive Jesus and got baptized, which was such a wonderful thing that God has miraculously done in front of my eyes. I am still praying for my dad to one day to receive Jesus as well.
Amen! ❤️
I pray that I would be able to model Jesus to my daughter so that when she is old enough she will choose to follow him. ❤️
Growing up we went to church faithfully every Sunday. I was raised Catholic. But it wasn’t until the late 1980s that we got involved with the Catholic Charismatic renewal, my parents and siblings and I all got saved during that time. We became a praying family even though we were already praying it became stronger. Our lives changed. Jesus became the Lord and Savior our family. And now 36 years later I have a couple siblings who do not serve the Lord BUT I know none of us will forget my parents did their best to model Jesus
Today’s study was hard for me. I was not raised in a Christian home. We went to Mass, but I did not learn about God’s love and forgiveness until in my 30’s. I feel that I failed my son in some ways. We are very close, but he has a stubborn nature and has made many poor decisions that have taken a toll on his health. It is truly heartbreaking. I wouldn’t be able to get through my days without God.
They read today’s Passages it made me think of vision 6:1-3 Call children obey your parents… ” But in verse 4 it talks about “parents provoke not your children onto wrath ” Don’t be mean, teasing to the point of angering them, stubborn, prideful just because you are the parent.
I feel like this is a verse that gets over looked. As a grandparent I also remind myself of this when my kids want to do thing differently. Bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Lay the rest at His feet.
I have a foolish son who is a heartache to me. He was raised to know the Lord but chose in his teens to walk in his own way and has done so for many years, he’s now 43. This son has turned my heart to prayer more times than any other thing in my life, so I am grateful that God has used my son’s foolish choices to draw my heart to himself. I will pray for my son as long as he has breath or as long as I do. My hope for him is in the Lord who can do all things. My prayer has been and will be that he will become an oak for the display of God’s slpendor!(Isaiah 61:3)
We are a product of our upbringing. However, it’s up to each of us to determine how we live. Thankfully, God walks with us and never forsakes us, showering us with love that heals all pain and suffering, making a way for us.
This was a hard read for me because I was the foolish child who brought much heartache to my mom. I have apologized to her for my actions and I know she loves me but I do not feel special to her. I feel less around her as I watch her with my younger sister and see the special relationship they have. My heart breaks but I know my actions caused a rift between us. This has made it hard for me to come to a belief that God would see me any different,
Coming from a broken home, I never had instruction from either parent unless it was threats for doing wrong and getting punished. I am grateful everyday for my salvation and that of my mom as well. Now we walk in grace and forgiveness with one another. I have no idea how I would of reacted in her situation of being newly divorced with three children and not being a believer in the time she did. We all have the capacity to love but sometimes that love is handicapped by hurts we have all faced. I have to ask myself, what hurts shaped my mom.
I am humbled by the love and sacrifices my parents made for me. In a family with seven kids, as adults my Dad has told each of us we were his favorite. My sister and I had fun with this always joking that we were the favorite favorite. The thing that struck me was that I always knew my parents loved us unconditionally and equally and that made me more confident in their love and that reflects the love of God, for I believe that I am His favorite, that He gave it all that I might have eternity with Him, and yet I am overjoyed that each of you are also His favorite, and no matter what your parents love might have lacked or how you might have been hurt by these relationships or even that which by our own choices we have been broken, we are each His favorite and if we can not fathom this, it is still true, He loved us so that He willingly died to give His favorites, each one of us what they need to run into the Fathers arms. As the prodigal son came home, the older son took his eyes off of the Father because he was jealous, when if he had just continued to remember and look toward his father, he would have seen the love he always had was still his as well. This is what God has told me keep looking to the Lord, for His love never fails, look at all He is teaching you and doing and praise the Lord. Love to you Sisters. Praying for our nation, His peace and love poured out no matter what passions people carry politically that God would be honored this day by the votes and the actions of His people.
Our parents try their best but we live in a sinful world and my parents did not follow the lord when I was young . There was a lot of pain and disappointments but God is faithful to bring people in our lives that follow Him and I learned that broken people hurt others but God can restore the broken heart and bring healing and wholeness . My father now follows Jesus as a recovering alcoholic and my mother I will find out in heaven if she repented? I was there just before she died and she knew who Jesus was but wasn’t following him. It was not for me to know and in this God is so good. I love the Lord and know my parents loved me but there was many trials and challenges with our family and God has shown me how important it is to bind the word of God in your hearts and forehead. Follow his word and truth and he will set you free from the bondage of sin and death.
Sadly, I grew up with a dad who was pretty neglectful towards his family although he was a Baptist pastor. So although God used the fact that I was surrounded by his Word to speak to my heart… there’s a lot of pain that revolves around the thought of my dad. Preaching on thing and not actually living out the Gospel.
I’m thankful that God is the perfect father, and that He really does feel joy when he sees me! I strive to live to honor him and delight in living for him.
I can look back at when I was growing up And see how I was so desperate for my dads attention… and I am so incredible thankful that i never have to earn Gods love or affection!
What a perfect time in His Word this morning after sharing a first general election with our two eldest this morning. As parents, we are supposedly the improved versions of our parents and so will be our children the new versions of us… train up a child…
Even though my childhood wasn’t always easy with an alcoholic father, I never doubted my parents love for me and I always respected his role as head of our household. The Lord was in our home, and in the lives and intentions of my parents, even in the hardships. It mattered to me growing up that I bring honour to my parents instead of grief (even though I’m sure I gave them some measure of the latter lol). I’m thankful for my parents and for them pushing me to grow in my walk with the Lord!
Amen!!
(1) How was the wisdom in proverbs modeled or not modeled for me in my youth?
As I think over my childhood, I can say with confidence that my parents love me. They wanted what was best for me. They sought to help me become the best version of myself and have always been a source a support; believing in me without question. This has been invaluable to the development of my confidence, my boldness. I’ve never feared their loss. I am so very grateful for that. Proverbs also paints a picture of wisdom being passed from generation to generation. It’s interesting because my parents shared some ideas with me – through books and movies. But mostly their wisdom was lived out. They are both hardworking. They both prioritize love and generosity. They could be more prudent, they could be more curious, they could cultivate more depth. But in the end they are very very good people. I have good 1) How was the wisdom in proverbs modeled or not modeled for me in my youth?
(2) Why does the actions of a child have so much impact on the heart of the parent?
I understand this viscerally as a mother. I love my daughter. In this uncomfortable, vulnerable, immutable way. We are connected in a profound way. This means everything she does affects me, everything she experiences, I feel. I also think, because I carried, bore and am raising her, I also feel responsible for who she is, what she does and what she becomes. So when she acts I feel it deeply because of the connection AND because I feel partially responsible.
(3) How does the parent child relationship teach us about the gospel?
I think when I apply how I feel about my daughter to the idea that God feels that way about me I am humbled beyond measure. I am Isaiah on my knees crying “woe is me, for I am ruined.” I cannot be worthy of that kind of love. Of that kind of intimacy with someone so holy. I also think it can teach us about God/the Trinity as well. Because their relationship is cast as a father and son. The cost of the cross in that light is expanded beyond the experience of Jesus Christ but also to God the Father. They all paid. Maybe the Father even more so. It helps us understand holy discipline, pleasure, obedience, abiding… basically everything. It is a central metaphor to understand God the Bible.
Great verse! Thanks for sharing 3 John 1:4 I will be writing this one on a notecard and sticking it in my kitchen.
I could write volumes on this one but am short on time. This I will say emphatically: my parents have pointed me toward God my entire life. I have never doubted my Father’s love because my Dad has always loved me unconditionally. He has shown me what it means to have a rock to cling to, a wing to nestle under, a refuge. I understand that my Father loves me no matter what I do or how I stray, because my Dad has shown me that. Always. And my mother: she has been her own version of the Proverbs 31 woman. Together, they showed us how to be good parents (and also what not to do). Again, I could write so much more. I am who I am because they humbly walk with the Lord and invited me to walk with them.
Lifting up prayers for everyone on this site today as we wrestle with some potentially painful/traumatic reflections! Also lifting up prayers for our country today that the Lord would grant peace to our nation. No matter the outcome of this election, He is still sovereign and in control. Lord we trust you! Move in ways only YOU can!
3 John 1:4. Every day I pray that our children stay faithful. So much in this world can pull them away or cause them to doubt. I pray they have strong friendships with other Christians. I pray they wear out their Bibles.
This chapter was so hard as my family has currently pulled away from me due to my beliefs regarding Covid and politics. Parents are supposed to model God’s love but instead my father is ignoring me for not Quarantining according to his standards and voting differently than him.
I find this so challenging! I end every day pleading with God that he won’t let the actions of my day which don’t honour him negatively influence my children’s attitude toward him. Keeps you humble I guess!