As a serial doubter, I have always loved the resurrection story and its honest portrayal of who was quick to believe Jesus was the risen Christ and who was more skeptical. Historically, I have been more like Thomas, wanting proof and evidence: “If I don’t see the mark of the nails in his hands, put my finger into the mark, and put my hand into his side, I will never believe” (John 20:25).
Mary Magdalene’s reaction to the risen Christ differed from that of Thomas. She believed as soon as Jesus spoke her name. “Rabboni!” she cried in recognition (v.16). And later when she saw the disciples, she said with confidence, “I have seen the Lord!” (v.18).
Thomas trusted Jesus’s scars. Mary trusted Jesus’s voice.
In my early twenties, I went through a dark season of doubt. Out in the real world for the first time, surrounded by people who did not believe in Christianity, much less God, I was suddenly very unsure of my own beliefs. I desperately wanted to prove God’s existence to my unbelieving friends—and to myself. So I searched for answers in apologetics, academics, and science, confident that if I could pull enough evidence together, I could believe again, and my friends would too.
During that youthful season, it was not the hard evidence of academics and apologetics that I grew to trust and understand. Ultimately, what pulled me back to faith was this: At some point in my life I had known the risen Christ. I had felt the love of God through Him. I had experienced grace and forgiveness. I was not sure how to prove the existence of God through science, but I could not deny that I had experienced the risen Christ. I had heard Him say my name.
This is not to say investigating our faith is fruitless. After all, Jesus did not chastise Thomas for asking for proof. He gave it to him, saying, “Put your finger here and look at my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Don’t be faithless, but believe” (John 20:27). But even today, when I find myself wrestling with questions about God, the Bible, Jesus, or religion, what I return to is not the evidence I’ve gathered, proving His existence. What I remember is the fact that Jesus has touched my life, and I have seen the marks on it as a result.
When the doubt is crippling, when the road before us is unclear, may we remember this day near the tomb. Mary Magdalene thought she had lost her friend, her teacher, her Rabbi. All was sorrow before and around her—and then, she heard Him speak her name. Have you heard Him speak yours?
That was powerful! I wrestle daily between the two extremes, wanting prove and belief in the unseen. It is comforting to read Jesus’ response to Thomas. Knowing that my Saviour will not scold me for seeking proof. In fact He will offer it and charge me to let go of my doubt.
I feel like I’ve been Mary so many times in my life. Sitting, weeping over something. Maybe something of the world or when I try to fix things in my life instead of going to Jesus. I imagine Jesus is standing over me asking me “courtney, why are you crying?” But i don’t recognize Him because I’m so caught up in this world, in my emotions, I can’t see past them. I imagine Jesus saying my name again, just pleading with me to look to Him for my comfort, to realize He is alive and wants to comfort me!
Thank you Jesus for pursing my heart every day, for comforting me, for holding me.
I struggle with trying to control my life instead of handing it to Jesus. This reading today just reminds even more that I should hand it all to Him.
I have to admit, I am a doubter from time to time. I am so very thankful I have found truth to cling to through this site and community of other like minded women who are desperately seeking after God.
I am ashamed to state this but I am often a doubter… not in Jesus Christ and what he can do, but I want to be shown. I am praying and working through this and know God will continue to be patient with me just as Jesus was with Thomas. He continues to amaze me and show me just how much he loves me.
“Who is it that you are seeking?” Isn’t that a key question of faith – God, let me now put my faith in the temporary things and people of this world and see Jesus alone!
This is is so wonderful! I recently had a conversation with someone about how our experiences can’t be used as proof of our faith in God and his sovereignty, his argument was that we’re only to use scripture … what a Wondering take on such a wonderful story. It’s amazing how many times you can hear and read a scripture yet God is so faithful to make it fresh and relevant each time ❤️
Beautiful reading. When I read this I’m reminded of God’s grace for Thomas. Jesus spent so much of His time teaching the disciples to trust and believe. Yet Thomas so quickly required physical proof.
I’m often like Thomas and see those who believe quickly as naive but then I remembers many verses that praise those who’s faith is childlike and trust is unwavering. Thank you Lord for your patience and love for us.
He calls MY name!
Amen!!