I slid into my seat for a Sunday night college service and slouched to hide from strangers. The strobe lights danced in rhythm as the worship band sang about freedom and forgiveness in Jesus. I wept uncontrollably. I chose to enter a relationship with a guy that led me into rebellion, and I gave this boy—who promised me the world—everything. Then six months later, he tossed me like an empty candy bar wrapper.
My soul felt sucker punched as I sat in the destruction caused by my sin, like sitting in a field of ash with everything burnt to the ground. But I wanted God—I needed God. He was my only hope of rescue. So, I cried out to him over and over as the guitar strung the gospel.
It was a feeling of desperation. I imagine my emotion in those moments is a glimpse into what the Israelites may have felt when they were led away from the land into captivity with the temple destroyed and their walls torn down—extreme pain and remorse for their sin.
For decades they cried out to God as they longed for restoration. They toiled in foreign soil, grieving the desolation of their lives and homes—the consequence of their rebellion against God. And Israel cried out to Him and remembered God’s covenant promises.
And the Lord answered Israel. He proclaimed to His people that their time of hard service (consequences) were completed (Isaiah 40:1–2). The prophet called for the nation to rejoice and shout for joy at God’s comfort and compassion (Isaiah 49:13). God strengthened them and bound their broken hearts (Isaiah 61:1–3).
I think Israel’s story is much like our own—much like mine. I wonder how much of our pain and suffering results from our own poor choices. We know the right thing to do, but we rebel against the prodding of the Spirit and the truth of Scripture. The destruction in our relationships—even in our hearts—leaves us desolate in spirit. But there is hope for us, just like there was hope for Israel. When we know we need God, we are called “blessed” (Matthew 5:3–10). Sometimes the pain of our sin becomes the tool of leading us back toward righteousness. At least, it did for me.
The Lord comforted me in my mourning. The Lord helped me see the kingdom of heaven in a new way—one of freedom rather than limitations (Matthew 5:3–10). God indeed gave me beauty of wholeness from ashes of despair as I learned to walk with Him again (Isaiah 61:3). What feels desolate in your life? What causes your heart to ache? May you have eyes to see our salvation by His grace (Luke 2:30) and may His comfort and compassion heal your brokenness.
Prayers for you, Erin. God always heals so I’m asking specifically for His healing for you here and now and that all who witness your story will see your love and trust and faith in Him and His miraculous grace and mercy. I pray that you feel His loving comfort and presence through all of this and that you are strengthened by it.
❤️
Thank you for sharing this. Beautifully stated and from the heart. God has given me the best and most as He grows me up through the trials and tribulations of my life. Almost every single one is a result of my own sin and disobedience but His mercy is never ending. My prayer is that we all know the peace and joy of hope that comes in our transformation through Him.
Such a blessing this group is! Erin, praying for you this Monday morning. I too have had this surgery…a long time ago now. A mother of one of my employees told me that I would feel immediately better after the surgery, even while still in recovery. I didn’t, couldn’t believe her, until I found out she was right! I have zero pain tolerance, but God…
Thankful for this reminder! Just like this story, God redeemed my life and saved me from the mess of sin I had created and lived in for years. Thankful for His gift of GRACE and my life and the many ways in which he has chosen to be gracious and faithful to me. Today’s devotion is a needed reminder of this, when my spirit and faith has felt more flat than growing, this season. All Glory to God!
TINA – Please keep talking about your daughter and your story. It helped me more than I can ever let you know. I enjoy searching for your comment every single day.
Prayers for all and especially the requests.
What I love about Simeon’s response to meeting Jesus is his acceptance of death. He had asked the Lord to be able to see the Savior, and once that happened he didn’t need more time on earth but was ready and willing to die in peace knowing his prayer had been answered. We don’t know when he died or how much of Jesus’ life he was able to witness, but his faith that the Messiah would save Israel was enough to see Jesus as a baby and know.
How often do we need to see the fullness of the promise to believe it has happened, and sometimes God is asking us to trust at the very beginning when we have just a glimpse of what it going to look like?
What a thought-provoking but wonderfully written devotion. I never thought about some of my pain being because of some of my poor choices. Now that I look back at some of them I would have to agree but not fully, I say not fully because in one instance I wouldn’t have had the two sons I have. I made poor choice in a husband but through that poor choice came two wonderful and sensitive sons — only one is still alive.
I would like to share something my minister said in her benediction yesterday: “God is ever present, if we’re paying attention.” I just loved this and thought you, my sisters in Christ, would to.
I would like to request prayer for myself, I’ve been very stressed lately with all that’s been going on with my sister and nephew and I feel it’s been effecting my work. I’ve been a nurse for over 40 years and been working w/ Finley for over 4 years but lately I feel like some of what is happening with her, her family and I is getting to me. I’ve been thinking about totally changing cases to the other little girl I care for, Kaylee, or maybe even retiring early. Finley and her family are going on a mini-vacay over the New Years weekend maybe that would help. Please pray that I let God guide me in the proper direction. Also that I let Him take care of my sister and nephew.
Be blessed and LISTEN and FOCUS on what God is trying to tell you (yes I will be doing this too).