Grief and Remembrance

Open Your Bible

Jeremiah 8:18, Psalm 42:1-11, Genesis 23:1-4, Genesis 23:19, Isaiah 25:8, Psalm 43:1-5, Isaiah 65:19-20

My very first memory is the day I became a sister. As soon as the birth of my baby brother was announced, I kicked open the maternity ward doors with my red Keds, singing, “I’m a Little Teapot” at the top of my lungs. He was the tiniest, sweetest, greatest thing to happen to my two-and-a-half-year-old life.

A few years later, I’d be clever enough to replace the words in another favorite nursery rhyme, “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” with my own name and reality, singing,

Mary Kaitlin had a little brother,
Had a little brother, had a little brother.
Mary Kaitlin had a little brother
Who lived in her house too.

I taught the song to my classmates, who’d sing it as I paraded through the elementary school carpool line, hand in hand with my little lamb. Some days I still wake up with this tune stuck in my head, rolling over to realize, yet again, the song’s taunting truth: I had a little brother—past tense. He’s gone now.

In the days following my brother’s death, the influx of sympathy cards, corn casseroles, news stories, pastoral visits, written obituaries, and floral arrangements all sang in unison, stuck on the same line: “Had a little brother, had a little brother, had a little brother.”

Death had stolen my song.

During the funeral, I stood in the first church pew, ready to lace up my red Keds, kick open the sanctuary doors, and go claim my little brother. I decided it wasn’t too late for it to all be a big mistake. I was waiting for Grief to admit it had chosen the wrong family, for Tragedy to apologize, and for Sorrow to pack its bags. It all made more sense that way, because my brother was the kind of guy who’d blush at all this attention and giggle at the amount of formality. Or was he? I was already forgetting.

My thoughts are my most unreliable grief companion, with the capacity to be my sweetest advocate or my biggest traitor. Like having a sore muscle, I become afraid to make the next move, knowing that walking through memories has the power to heal, but it also has the power to hurt.

Inside the front door of our childhood home, there’s a piano, the bench cushion worn equally on both sides. Together, my brother and I had written our own rendition of “Heart and Soul”—he on the bass clef, me on the treble. I sit in the same spot now, alone, recalling all of my notes perfectly, the duet only heard in my head. I remember all of his notes too. And I’m reminded that I am still Mary Kaitlin, but I no longer have a little brother who lives in my house too. I feel like the psalmist, pounded by the waves:

“Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your breakers and your billows have swept over me.
The Lord will send his faithful love by day;
his song will be with me in the night—
a prayer to the God of my life” (Psalm 42:7–8).

Death can steal our song, but it cannot stop us from singing. And while I hold onto the hope of heaven, I am relieved and comforted by remembering God’s faithfulness to me in all things, right now.

When I hear one of our old songs, sometimes I listen, and other times I don’t. But when I’m feeling brave, I begin to mouth the words of that childhood song about my little brother, and I’m reminded of the true root of my grief: love. And that’s something I’ll never forget.

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152 thoughts on "Grief and Remembrance"

  1. Ada McCloud says:

    The true root of my grief is love.

  2. Haven Bruner says:

    When I lost my grandfather (my Poppa) it was like a part of my identity died as well. We are a musical family and it all started with Poppa.

  3. alé chairez says:

    today was the 7 year mark of my older brothers death. i also got the news that my best friends grandmother who also claimed me as her own, just passed.

  4. alé chairez says:

    today was the 7 year mark of my older brothers death. i

  5. Amanda Riedel says:

    Thank you… We just held a celebration of life for my sister yesterday and these verses were what my broken heart needed this morning.

  6. Toti Schaaf says:

    lost my brother two years ago on my 18th birthday. feeling the loss extremely heavy during this month as the anniversary is in two weeks. death can steal my song, but it cannot stop me from singing.

  7. Ashley Hoffman says:

    Reminds me of the song “Hallelujah Even Here” by Lydia Laird: “Sometimes nothing left to give becomes the sweetest offering and sometimes choosing just to sing is the thing that changes everything.”

  8. Linneah Olsen says:

    Oh, my goodness. I am weeping this beautiful and so perfect for right now.

  9. Reina Sikabwe says:

    Man I’m sobbing, I have a little brother..I cant even imagine…
    He is the best gift of my life.
    Loved this

  10. Virginia Mhasvi says:

    I’m so glad to know that grief will be a thing of the past in the new heavens and new Earth. Sometimes I do wonder, will the Lord allow us to remember things past or pains? I feel like remembering would help us appreciate the infinite joy we will get to experience in eternity. Or will there be no remembrance? So that the joy we will be feeling and never get used to will be so powerfully strong that it would make it impossible to have even a thought of the pain of the past. I do wonder about that…
    Either way, I’m sure gazing into the face of our Lord will drown sorrows away forever from our memory. That will probably be the new reality!

  11. Tamara Doyle says:

    I love that line, “…the true root of my grief: love.” It reminded me that my moments of deepest grief have hurt so much because I have loved much. And I love that God can use even our grief to show us His love. I experienced a deep loss not long after knowing someone. If I hurt that much for someone I’ve loved and lost after so short a while, how much more so does the God who eternally foreknew and chose me, love me?

  12. Nedja Wallace says:

    Grief and the mind are trixy things. Losing my Gran last May has been such a walk in the valley. I miss her with each breathe and it’s almost been a year. Anxiety kicks up and I don’t want to leave the safety of my home. But I do. Because she was brave. And because Christ was brave. And they both know the feelings of grief. And because of the Cross, I can rejoice in knowing that I will see her again…I will see all of them again! To love and be loved—-it hurts but it’s worth it. Blessings of peace and comfort to all who are mourning. May we all remember to dance soon! ❤️

  13. Ellen Hull says:

    Sunday is the third anniversary of my dad’s death. I give thanks he is no longer trapped in the earthly body that failed him, but it’s so hard for those of us left behind.

  14. Alexxa Reed says:

    My husband and I just found out that we lost our pregnancy. Our very first baby.. Christmas Eve will always look a little different to me now. I hope it won’t always hold a sadness and grief. I know it won’t always hurt like it does right now, but today I mourn the loss of our baby.. knowing I will see him/her again someday.

    1. Erin Campbell says:

      I am here reading this passage today in your shoes. I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it’s not a club either of us wanted to be in. Our due date was Valentine’s Day. I’m thankful for Gods faithfulness in the midst of grief and loss.

  15. Elle says:

    Beautifully written, Kaitlin. May the Lord continue to guide, comfort, and flood us with His love those of us who are still navigating through deep grief and sorrow. And thank you also for the reminder that things take time….healing isn’t instant, but it is possible, even while remembering those whose loss here on earth we grieve. God bless.

  16. Jen Magnall says:

    Grief oppressed me when I had my miscarriages. Death had stolen my child, and with it, my identity as a mother, and all the future things I had planned for my child. It was a time of raw emotion for me – for months. Grief kept flooding over me in new ways. As due dates passed. When others announced their pregnancies. Anytime I heard someone complain about their children. Just when I felt close to being healed, something would rip my heart back open. It was a long battle between grief and hope. Although it was nearly a decade ago, I can still feel the scars. I avoid things. I tiptoe around topics, dates, objects. I haven’t healed from the deep wounds I had. Perhaps I can never fully be as I was before “The Dark Ages” as I call them in my own mind, but is that necessary? Can’t I love God in a different way and it still be okay? I have always felt that if I can’t go back to what I was before, God didn’t want me at all. Maybe God wants me because of all that I went through. Maybe God knows my anger and raw emotion were just part of my mourning and love is waiting for me.

    It is difficult to admit that I have spent nearly the last 10 years feeling angry, ashamed, and fake. Like God doesn’t want me if I felt those things. I am finally feeling like that period of time can be part of my story rather than the end of it.

    1. Iris Eger says:

      My heart aches for you because I know these feelings. Losing your baby is so so hard. Have you read „Every bitter thing is sweet“ by Sara Hagerty? The book helped me. ❤️

  17. Jamie L.Racine says:

    I have yet to experience a grief this intense but I know it is coming. It is inevitable in this earthly life. I do my best not to be overcome with fear of it.

  18. Melissa Mcronney says:

    Lord help us to hold on to You in our time of grief.

  19. Abby says:

    Thank you for this. Your phrase “death can steal our song, but it cannot stop us from singing” is now one of the first phrases I wrote in the margin of my brand new Bible. I needed this, especially during the holidays.

  20. Tricia C says:

    Thank you for this devotion and thank you Churchmouse for your words.
    The grief I feel now is for those who don’t know Jesus as their savior. I just keep praying that they will see Jesus.

  21. Sarina says:

    My sister in law passed away in January this year. She was so young and full of life. I could really identify with today’s devotion.

  22. Ashley Thomas says:

    My sister passed away 2 months ago. How fitting for me to read this when I am traveling back to my hometown for the holiday. It will be my first time back since her funeral. I have all the emotions. I, like churchmouse, am able to hold grief at bay to an extent, I am quite worried I will not do this so well once I am surrounded by my loved ones again.

  23. Kristen says:

    I was confused about the Scripture: deep calls to deep. I was going your writing would help clarify and it does. Thanks!

  24. Kara Ellis says:

    I first looked at today’s Scriptures mere hours before learning that a faithful man that I looked up to, and whose wisdom helped me during a crisis in my own life, passed away unexpectedly. Today, of all days, I am so thankful that God reminded me of His promise that one day death will no longer exist.

  25. Mari V says:

    After reading this I looked up the song Amazing Grace (My chains are gone) By Chris Tomlin. It’s been just over 11 years since my daddy passed away. He was the best! He loved Jesus so much! It gives me comfort that there’s no more diabetes, no more amputated leg. He has a new glorified body. I still miss him greatly but with time my pain has eased. Each year got better, but he is still greatly missed. At his funeral, I remember I did not say goodbye to my dad. Instead I said, “I’ll see you later daddy.”

  26. Alexis says:

    “Death can steal our song, but it cannot stop us from singing”
    I love this and will remember this when I start missing my mom or grieving lost relationships.

    Thank you for your words, Kaitlin, they were such a comfort.

    1. Bobbie Sue says:

      I so agree! I love that line, too. Thank you, Kaitlin. Beautiful.

  27. Avalon Negrette says:

    Going through grief can be so so tough! It can take a little while before you’re able to get to a place of remembrance, but what I have to hold onto in those moments or seasons of grief is that The Lord is going to take to to that place of remembrance. That I don’t have to do it alone. I appreciate that God is a God of seasons and that He doesn’t expect us to go through all the range of emotions and events all at once or not at all. That he gives us seasons in which we can have time to go through things life grief, but He also gives us time to heal and to remember.

    1. Raela Schoenherr says:

      This was beautifully said!

  28. DOK says:

    Thank you for this.. I am working on being on the other side where God can override the grief that grips me so suddenly that my breath is squeezed out. Especially this time of year as the memories of good with my daughter in the last days of her life turn now as I know she will be gone 3 years tomorrow. I cling to God,though, aa he has promised me hope, a future and things for the good.

  29. Sherry says:

    “I’m reminded of the true root of my grief: love. And that’s something I’ll never forget.“ Thank you God that I have experienced grief because it means I have loved. ❤️

  30. Churchmouse says:

    I hold grief at a distance these days. There was a time when I could not. It was a constant unwanted companion. It threatened to suffocate me, immobilize me. The power of God’s Word gave me the release and solace I sought. I clung to it, to Him, as the lifeline He is. Slowly, grief withdrew its tentacles and I could take a deep breath and a step forward. I still remember the source of the sorrow, the darkness and the sadness, but it keeps its distance now. It is a mere memory, a part of my story, true, but it no longer dominates nor defines me. I recollect and rejoice that I am on this side of all of that. It tries to sneak up on me but God has me surrounded. He goes behind me and before me, above and below. Grief has no grip on me. I have grown out of it, from it, through it. God remains faithful. He is my constant stronger companion and He is good all the time.

    1. Brianna Kraus says:

      I hope to one day be able to hold it at a distance, too. Right now, it’s hands are constantly gripped around my heart, my gut, everything causing constant anxiety. I’m not grieving the death of a loved one, instead grieving the loss of my life as I once knew it. I know a God is working it all out in some way to bring a new purpose to my life, but right now I’m struggling through the memory of what my life once was and what it is now. Thank you for sharing your experience with grief. It helps me feel some hope that I, too, may get there.

  31. April Love says:

    I think I am going to have read this one a few times… it’s been 14 years since my brother died, 11 years since my mother died and 10 years since my dad died, and I am still drowning in the heaviness of grief and pain as though it were yesterday.

    1. Bailey Godfrey says:

      I wish there was a rule book or a guide to grieving and timelines of grief so we could know what mindsets and emotions and attitudes help us move forward and which ones hinder us. My best friend and sister in law died close to a year ago and I feel the grief will be just as heavy in ten years because I don’t know how to identify what is simply the natural cycle of grief and what is anger or bitterness or resentment that binds me. I want to know the precursors to healing well and what is keeping me stuck. I hope the same for you…that God can draw out what feelings and attitudes will help you find some light in the darkness of grief. The loss of 3 people like you’ve had is not an easy journey ♥️

  32. Cynthia Boone says:

    Losing my 18 year old son in January 2017 was definitely the hardest thing I’ve had to face on this Earth. So thankful for my Lord and Savior and his indescribable ability to comfort me when grief strikes at it’s worst. Have also list a brother, Mom and Dad. I know I will sing and praise God with them one day.

  33. Cynthia Boone says:

    Grief seems to be a lifelong journey for me. Most days are goo

  34. Christina Hilburn says:

    Thank you for writing this and being so intentional about what grief really feels like. I unexpectedly lost my grandmother 7 weeks ago and it’s been heart breaking and caused so much pain. I’m so thankful for the encouragement of your story and also, for the encouragement of knowing I have a good Father. No matter what. ❤️

  35. Alexandra Maffett says:

    Wow. Thank you for this. I lost my Mom just over a week ago. She had been suffering for some time so we knew it was coming but it was still very heartbreaking. I like how this devotional talked about mourning and remembering.

  36. Sherly Seïde says:

    I’ve also lost my brother a few years ago. This really hit home. I’m really thankful the words of this writer.

  37. Taren says:

    This is good, and heartbreaking, and good. I’ve been here more times than I care to admit it remember, holding grief and hurt and confusion at arms length uncertain whether to embrace and heal or continue to hold the pain away from me.

    It’s a mess. And the process doesn’t get easier. I’ve lost my mother and her two bothers all before I hit 28, each of them passing in their 30’s. I’ve lost best friends and grandparents and each time I wonder when it will stop and what the point is– especially if he’s as good as he says he is.

    I don’t have an answer but I resonated with this:

    11 Why are you cast down, O my soul,
    and why are you in turmoil within me?
    Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
    my salvation and my God.

    Life is a string of ups and downs and at the end of the day, even amidst the pain and frustration, I always come back to the truth that I will see the goodness of God in the land of the living.

    Because he’s good, because he’s good.

  38. Erin Niedergall says:

    I loved reading your story, but my heart broke over the loss of your dear little brother. I cannot imagine, as a young girl, the pain that you suffered. On this side of Heaven, we cannot possibly understand the grand plan of God’s…but what we do know is that He is Sovereign and He loves us, Oh how He loves you and me! Thank you for sharing your dear heart and the reminder of God’s sweet faithful love for us. He tenderly cares for us and heals our sorrows as time passes by, praise God that some day we will never cry again!

  39. Brittany Ann Goodrich says:

    “My thoughts are my most unreliable grief companion, with the capacity to be my sweetest advocate or my biggest traitor. Like having a sore muscle, I become afraid to make the next move, knowing that walking through memories has the power to heal, but it also has the power to hurt.”

    I read these words and I connected with them immediately. My heart being filled with so much hurt but also so much hope. There is a trauma I had experienced in my 20’s that still haunts me to this day. Even though it wasn’t that many years ago I blocked it out. Some days I feel so locked in place, so scared to move a muscle that it will trigger a memory or that I won’t be able to make my way out.. but then I shouts Gods truths aloud to myselff and slowly I climb out of that pit of trauma and fear. It had been years of healing. But as I tredge through total and complete healing come ever closer. I just can’t wait for the day when I can figure out how to completely give it to God and just live in his healing.
    I’m getting ready to go to Bible College. Me and my husband. I know through this God will bring healing and knowledge. Please pray for me and my husband as we embark on this journey. I will be victorious!!!

  40. Caroline says:

    What an incredible change of perspective. This study has opened my eyes to such a different way than before. The Lord is good! Joy and grief can be experienced simultaneously.

  41. Morgan says:

    I have read this word more than once and needed it more than ever today as I lost my first unborn baby at 12 weeks. Thank you for the honesty and truth of this word. I know it can be my strength in the challenging days and weeks to come.

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      So sorry for your loss, Morgan. Praying for you in this time of grief and sadness. Asking the Lord to bring you unimaginable comfort right now.

      – Stormye

    2. Cheryl says:

      I just lost my baby as well. (Measured at 9 weeks but I found out at my 12 week appt three days ago.) You are not alone, Morgan. God hears us both. Loves us both. I love you, too. And will be praying for God’s truth and love to transcend all lack of understanding.

  42. Lisa Janzen says:

    Thank you for this beautiful, open and honest devotional. It was very touching and reminded me that in times of sadness and grief, we really can turn to God and should be praising him even though it can be difficult. There’s a song that has the lyrics, “you taught my feet to dance upon dissapointment” and I really want to strive to be a person who can do this!

  43. Josefina says:

    Death can steal our song but cannot stop us from singing. Mmm Lord, on the days in which I feel defeated may I remember that we don’t need no music, we can sing in dance with the praises you’ve placed in our hearts.

  44. Jenny says:

    What a beautiful devotional. I feel like death can taint memories- like how the song the writer wrote about took on a new ‘taunting’ meaning after her brother passed. With my kitty all of a sudden, the moments before he died stand out in stark contrast- “he was curled up next to me in bed just yesterday” etc. it seems so abrupt, almost dream like- but the most painful dream because what seems so wrong and impossible is actually the reality. I think there is something very offensive about death to our hearts- it simply feels so wrong and unjust. And that is what creates the tension- we remember the loved one, and our love for them fondly, and we are still living and loving and experiencing good things, but the loss of our loved one is so searingly painful. To me it feels like a large slash through the picture of my life. And only with time (and Gods help!), can the picture of our lives be sewn back together- but without our loved one. With each prayer and fond memory and tear shed, we slowly stitch our lives back. And though our lives are forever changed, someday the picture will look new and complete again. But we will know how it used to look and that it is not complete in the sense of what it was, but that it is a different picture entirely. When we lose someone, they are gone from our reality- our “life picture,” but never from our hearts or memories. And I must remember that Every picture we see of people – the picture we present to others and the picture of other people’s lives we see is only a bit of the story. So much of our life experience is tucked away in our hearts. I hope to have more compassion for others – knowing we all carry more memories- both sweet and painful-than what meets the eye.

    1. GramsieSue . says:

      What a perfect description. Thank you for sharing

  45. Rachel says:

    “Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days…”

    My baby boy died a little over a month ago. He was a beautiful five-month-old with a liver condition. I thought of his two older brothers as I read your story. They miss their baby brother terribly. I struggle daily to keep on living for them. To stay focused on God and on them. And to keep anger and bitterness at bay. This study has been helping me. Thank you.

    1. Virginia says:

      Rachel, I’m so sorry. My only child, my baby girl died back in November. She was only 3 weeks and 5 days old and she had a heart defect. She went into cardiac arrest one day, randomly, and her heart wasn’t strong enough to start on its own again. I struggle with anger right now. It’s like I don’t have very many tears left to cry and then I just get angry that death happens, especially to my precious baby. But it’s amazing to be held by God during this time, and I know he is holding you as well. Even on those dark days, he is right there. I think about all of the other moms who have had to bury their babies – it’s comforting to know I’m not alone in my grief. I’ll be praying for you.

  46. Adrianne Storr says:

    just found this comment section! yes, so amazingly written and heart breaking! so thankful He will wipe away our tears and we will remember no more!

  47. Kayce says:

    Thank you so much for this! I lost my best friend, my mom, a year ago. I have let my sorrow and grief overtake me and run my life. I needed this today! Thank you!!

  48. Cheryl says:

    As I contemplate what is coming for dad I know Gods love is bigger and will hold me up even in my darkest days I will remember the good and bad. I know He will never let go of me….

  49. Nicki says:

    My best friend took her life over a year ago. While I have gone through the most intense part of grief, I understand what you say when it’s hard to know how to make the next move. I have questioned what it is even to be a friend and how to continue my friendships. I know it is possible but it has been baby steps in walking through the process of loving again.

  50. Cindy says:

    I just recently lost my mom, so have experienced everything you mentioned in this devotional today. Her death has rocked me to the core, at times even causing me to question my own faith. I’ve been a Christian for 38 years, and right now I am more thankful than ever for the scriptures that promise he will replace morning with gladness, as well as the promise that we will see our loved ones again.

  51. Rene says:

    I found out the other day that you cannot run and cry at the same time. The grief hits me when I least expect it: that day while running. I guess running not only release endorphins.

    1. Nicki says:

      When I lost my best friend, I took up running a few months later. I hadn’t really run a day in my lie but I needed to lose weight and I also needed to deal with my grief. It was the best thing I could have ever done. I understand the wave that stops you from running. And I am so glad God have running to me.

  52. Katie says:

    I feel blessed !

  53. Charissa says:

    I’ve been inspired to art journal along with this reading plan. Here is the reflection and entry I did for Grief and Remembrance:

  54. Amy says:

    Thank you. I lost my dad just recently. The true root of my grief truly is love. Oh how I loved him. Oh I still love him. Losing someone is like being part of a club you never wanted to join but there is a strange comfort knowing you aren’t alone as other have and are grieving their loss. Isaiah 57:1-2 (NLT).

  55. Bri says:

    I just graduated high school in May. Last night a classmate and sweet friend suddenly and tragically just dropped dead. My graduating class is broken and my heart is confused and angry. Thankful that others know this kind of pain and that the Lord Himself takes on my burdens.

  56. Whitney says:

    “I’m reminded of the true root of my grief: love”… So beautifully put… As I mourn the loss (not physical death) of a dear friendship, and wrestle through the questions and the anger, this is such a healing place to land… It is because of the love once shared that we grieve the deepest. Thank you, Kaitlin.

  57. Sarah Luebkemann says:

    This was so well written… I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet brother…

    I just lost my best friend of 18 years, since we were 5years old, recently…. Very suddenly and tragically on June 10th. We were extremely close, like sisters. It’s been very hard to face it, and I’ve realized I’ve had a lot of days of suppressing it and pushing it aside just trying to cope and pretend it’s not happening even though I know it is… Just even hearing you say sometimes you listen and sometimes you don’t- sometimes you play the memories and sometimes you don’t- they are such tools for sweetness or for pain… You’re so right… But it is all rooted in your love….I just love the way you brought all your thoughts together, it helped clarify a lot of my own. :)

    I love how the Isaiah 25 scripture says “He will destroy death forever….for the Lord has spoken”…. For the Lord has spoken… I trust my Lord. He has spoken. And the sweet reminders to put my trust and hope in Him even though I don’t understand the storms around me… He is with me, He is sure and solid, and He has spoken. So so good :)

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Sarah, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Grateful for the gift of “me too” and praying God continues to comfort you through His Word. Aching and hoping with you, friend.


  58. Danette Williams says:

    Kaitlin, wow.. I can scarce catch my breath, when I read as you describe your grief and loss, and how you feel when you think about your brother. I am a mother who lost my daughter at the age of 20, in 2007. I know my grief, and all the chasms and high places I go. But I ache as a mother for my son Jake, who was 18 when a drunk driver took his sister from us, because I don’t know how his grief feels to him. Unfortunately I was so numb for so long I feel I wasn’t there for him. And today, we talk about her, and laugh, and he is 27 and such an amazing son. He has strong faith, and I know he tries to be strong for me. We spend those “anniversary dates” together, and he very much opens the door to talk. But I still know he feels things I can’t begin to understand. He lost his only sister. That breaks my heart for him. It breaks my heart for you too Kaitlin.
    I do know that the Lord is so steadfast and doesn’t ever leave us or forsake us even when we are so broken we can’t pray. He is the lifter of our heads, our strength and our song! I know that one day we will all be together again and that gives me peace! Thank you for sharing your brother, your loss, your pain, and God’s work in your life. Grief is a heavy load to carry. I am so thankful we don’t carry ourselves. In Him..

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Oh, Danette. Thank you so much for sharing. Your words have moved me more than I can describe. I’m so sorry about your loss, and your family reminds me so much of my own. Similarly, I often think about my parents’ grief and the ways they feel things I can’t begin to understand. At the same time, I’ve never been more confident of God’s faithfulness and the hope we have. Grieving and hoping with you. Just so grateful it’s true!


  59. Dual Citizen Dawn says:

    My beloved brother- so gifted as an international architect of great repute unexpectedly died two days ago. My hear is grieving, but full of remembrance. Despite my deep sadness, I remember that I am COVERED by an Almighty, loving God who covers me from above, who covers me in front of and who covers me all around with His love; His spirit; His presence and His wisdom. I was prepared, for I had just attended a conference where I heard the inspired teaching of Beth Moore. And I had made a focused resolve 6 months ago to study His Word, to know Him more intimately, daily sometimes studying all day long. I was prepared. The paraphrase in my heart fulfilled is you will search for me and you will find me, when you seek me with all of your heart. Yes, I shall be found by you. Indeed. In these last 6 months I have found Him with a greater depth of knowledge and peace than I have ever known in my 60+ years. Thank you, SRT for providing the resources to prompt this commitment. Though in pain, I see light.

    1. Susie Owen says:

      Beautiful.. Sorry for your loss

  60. phyllis says:

    my 13 year old niece took her life this past February,,,,no one knows why,,,,outstanding athlete, straight A student,,,,witty,,,pretty and popular….Grief has entered my life and resides….i am not consumed although there is a huge hole and my joy has been stolen. i find comfort in knowing God called a beautiful angel home

    1. Paige Wells says:

      God’s mercy to you all. saying a prayer for you now

    2. Danette Williams says:

      Phyllis, my heart aches for you deeply. Just wanted you to know your name is in my prayer journal and will earnestly pray for your pain. May God’s peace and comfort engulf you..

    3. She Reads Truth says:

      Phyllis, I don’t have any good words to share, but I’m so very sorry. Keeping you and your family in my heart and prayers. May He comfort you through His Word. Jesus, be near.


  61. Jennifer says:

    Wow, thank you for sharing your heart. I also lost my little brother – we were also 2.5 years apart. He was 14 when he passes and I was 16. It has been so many years now and he would have been 40 this year. So hard to fathom as it seems like an alternative life I lead all those years ago. Another dimension. I do still grieve, every now and again, what “could have been”. Thank you for the reminder that we will be together again and that He WILL destroy death forever.

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Jennifer, I resonate with your description of another dimension—it certainly seems so true, yet so far away, doesn’t it? So sorry you know the same pain, but grateful for the gift of “me too.” Thank you, friend.


  62. ohmeowsers says:

    He will destroy death forever.

  63. Emily says:

    Thank you for sharing! I personally am walking through mourning a loss of my baby, Azra. It is a pain I will never forget. This series on mourning and dancing has been so good for me!

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Emily, I’m so sorry your sweet Azra is not with you. So grateful for your willingness and bravery to join us. Praying for you as you read these truths.


  64. Jess says:

    Thank you for this. I also lost my little brother several years ago. Today’s post both broke open my grief, and reminded me that I am not alone. Grief can feel like my whole soul is breaking apart, but Jesus is always there to sweetly put the pieces back together.

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Jess, I’m so sorry for your loss. Friend, you are absolutely not alone, and I’m grateful that you commented to remind me that I’m not either. May He hold your sweet sister heart close.


  65. Katie says:

    All of these stories of loss break my heart. Last summer, my Uncle and Grandmother died in the same week. It is only through the grace of God that I can get through my grief, and the hope of Jesus of what is to come. I loved the one thing I read here about, “see you on the other side.” that’s how I feel about the believers in my life i have lost.

  66. Bethany says:

    I am so sorry about your brother. What a blessing his life continues to be for you. You are able to write so beautifully and I always appreciate your devotions.

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Bethany, thank you so much for your sweet comment! Grateful for the opportunity to mourn and dance together.


  67. Dawna says:

    Thank you God for the love that may eventually cause me to grieve. Thank you for the grief that reminds me of the love.

    1. Baytree says:

      This is an amazing response! I shall write this on a card and keep it close. It is a fearful thing to love what death might touch…

  68. Lesli says:

    This is so beautifully written. I lost my Dad very suddenly 3 1/2 years ago to a heart attack. The last conversation we had was an argument. Oh, how I’ve grieved him and had so much guilt for our last conversation! But the Lord has been near to me in my brokenness and has helped me to dance again.

    1. Jesus Girl says:

      Lesli, I too had a similar experience with my brother. I cried, lamented, and grieved to the Lord day and night. Then my husband gave me wisdom, in the fact that my brother was in Heaven and he would not remember my words. He was joyful and full of life! May God grant you total peace from this day forward.

      1. Kim says:

        I lost my 17 year old daughter 1 year ago. She was coming back from cheerleader practice and in our driveway, a tree fell on her car and killed her instantly. It was devastating as anyone can imagine, but throughout the last year, there have been many confirmations regarding where she is and what her new life with the Lord is like. One of her dear friends had a visit from her in a dream, and my daughter told her that this is the happiest she has ever been and that she remembers nothing bad that happened to her on earth.

  69. Amber says:

    I lost a brother too. 29yrs ago this next week. Thank you for sharing, and reminding me how grief is rooted in love! We will be together again and pick up right where we left off; duets and all❤️

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Amber, I’m so sorry for your loss. What a joyful day that will be! Praying for your sister heart today.


  70. Mandy says:

    I believe that is was pure Gods place and timing.
    My grandfather passed away early yesterday morning , I skipping my devo to be with my family . And today catching up its on death and dying . So much scripture to help heal my broken heart.

    1. Christa says:

      Praying for you and your family.

  71. Gracie says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart. I am going to hug my little sister a little tighter tonight. God bless you Kaitlin!

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Thanks for joining us today, Gracie. Grateful for the opportunity to mourn and dance together.


  72. Jenni says:

    This was so beautiful. Thank you for sharing your heart. And the scriptures were perfect. I am so thankful of the hope we have in Christ, that someday the sting of death and persecution will be gone forever.

  73. Linda says:

    Thank you. It’s still so hard for me to find my own words…

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Linda, so often, it’s hard for me to put words to the feelings, too. Grateful for our God who knows and sympathizes even when we can’t express it. Grace and peace to you, friend.


  74. MsDunny says:

    This is beautiful, beautiful, beautiful! What awesome promises from Scripture and what a glorious reminder that death isn’t alway love lost, but love placed on hold for a little while. Thank you!

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      MsDunny, I love that way of putting it—”love placed on hold for a while.”

      Thanks for joining us today, friend!


  75. Kelsey says:

    “He will swallow up death forever and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces..” Those were the words I clung to when my Dad unexpectedly passed in a train crash almost 9 years ago. I miss that gem of a man every single day, but I know He is experiencing heaven in all its fullness. For those of you who have just started your grief journey, please know that it DOES get better. Christ Jesus walks with you every single day and the pain that seems unreal slowly subsides to something manageable. I once thought I would never be happy again – but that’s a lie of Satan. You will be happy again, you will.

  76. Harmony Vuycankiat says:

    This came at a perfect time for me. My sister passed away 6 months ago and I, too, miss her most when I think of the songs that we played, sang, and danced to together. We actually played Heart and Soul on the piano as well. Just last night I had a song on repeat that reminded me of her. I can’t always do that though, like you pointed out. Grief is hard but I’m thankful that God doesn’t leave me to go through it alone. Thanks!

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Harmony, I’m so sorry. Thank you for commenting today—I’m grateful for the opportunity to mourn AND dance together. Asking God to hold your sister-heart extra close today.


  77. Erika says:

    “My thoughts are my most unreliable grief companion…” Beautifully said. I wrote yesterday how I am in a season of deep grief, having learned of my husband’s affair 10 weeks ago. And yes, my thoughts are both my scariest and most peaceful place. The hardest thoughts by far have been the ones that question God. That question His character, His presence, His plan. I love how the Psalmist is so raw and real with his hurt and is willing to approach God not with everything figured out, but with deep pain and ask “Don’t you care? Do you see? When will you act? This hurts.” More than anything else over these past 10 weeks I have come to rest upon the truth that He is big enough to handle my big emotions. He does not fear my fear, nor does He expect me to get it all figured out. He lets my “deep cry to deep” and He meets me there.

  78. Hannah Paris says:

    Years go by, and some things don’t get easier. “I’m reminded of the true root of my grief: Love.” How painfully, blissfully true.
    It’s been years. Love doesn’t fade. The grief doesn’t fade either. But if continuing to love means continuing to grieve, I think that’s a trade-off I can live with.

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Me too, Hannah. :) Thanks for sharing, friend.


  79. Tracy Jones says:

    Wonderful, healing, and beautiful words for today. “Death can steal our song, but it cannot stop us from singing. “…I cannot get my brain to move past that quote. God and I will be working on that thoughts for a while ;)

  80. Caroline says:

    Whew death won’t stop us from singing… as I am still processing the loss of my 2 y/o nephew… I continue singing. It’s not always easy and often times it’s the last thing I want to do, but I know it’s the best option there is!

  81. Kelsi says:

    I feel all these readings are very important. I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer 5 years ago and still find it difficult to find healing. I miss him so much and I know that God has a plan for everything that happened. There may never be answers but I know that I must trust God through it all, even the painful events in life.

  82. Hannah says:

    The cycle of life is cruel and beautiful all at once, and it is wonderful to be reminded of it as I read this morning. Thank you for sharing your memories.

  83. Meggie says:

    “He will swallow up death forever and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces”
    Comfort and peace washed over me this morning as I read these promises from our God. I miscarried my baby last night, and amidst the sadness and grief, I feel such a strong sense of hope and peace. And, Peace has a Name. Thankful for my Jesus, who is near even through this horrible pain. I hope in the day he will wipe away all tears and take away death forever. For now, I can know that my sweet baby is safe in the loving arms of the Father, never having to experience pain or suffering in this world. She will only know joy, and for that I am thankful.

    1. Kim says:

      Oh, Meggie. I’m so very sorry. Praying for you this morning.

    2. Jami says:

      Oh, wow, I’m so very sorry for your very raw experience, Meggie. Praying God holds you -and you feel it -through this, and you continue to know that comfort and peace!

    3. Sandy W. says:

      I am so sorry Meggie. Praying that Jesus will wrap His loving arms around you and bring you comfort and peace. Blessings to you and your family.

    4. Holly L says:

      I’m so sorry for your loss of your baby . Words do not fully express the ache in my heart for you, as I have also lost a baby in miscarriage. I’m praying for you… Physical healing … And spiritual & emotionally, this study (I would imagine) is timed God-perfect for you. Don’t rush through the grief, but as I’m learning for this study, it’s ok to dance also. (((Hugs)))

    5. Christa says:

      Praying for you.

    6. Emily says:

      Meggie, I just lifted you up in prayer right now! May God bring you all comfort and peace as you dance through your mourning❤️

  84. Katie says:

    This week’s readings have been incredibly difficult yet healing for me. Last March right before my daughter’s first birthday my grandmother passed away from brain cancer, and a year before that days after my daughter was born my grandmother’s husband who was like a grandfather to me passed from cancer. Sometimes the pain of grief is still so fresh and raw, but I find peace in knowing they are in their eternal home free of all pain and suffering. Many of the scripture readings this week have provided much needed comfort.

  85. Keri Underwood says:

    So sorry for the loss of your brother! Isn’t it just wonderful to think that our Father has overcome death? He is master of it and we will be able to hug our lost loved ones again one day. I look forward to that day and rejoice in the fact that our God has overcome and He wins in the end!

  86. Christy says:

    Beautiful words today. Thank you.

  87. Kendall says:

    Yesterday, at a youth conference I am attending, Levi Lusko spoke about the sudden loss of his little girl, Lenya, and mentioned that even though the tension between mourning and dancing is there, we can still do both. A lion has strips of white under its eyes, which helps it to perceive the light even better than us. When we look through the lens of faith, it is so much clearer what the plan is.

    Today is the last day of Gateway Student Conference, with over 4,000 12-18-year-olds, and I pray for countless salvations, miracles, and that people would be saved and set free from addiction, diseases, and anything binding them not of your word, God. Amen.

    1. Sarah says:

      I stand in solidarity with that prayer. I pray for countless salvation a as well!

  88. Melea says:

    My younger brother died last June unexpectedly. This one hit me right in the middle of my still grieving heart. My brother accepted Christ about year prior to his death, so I do have the deep gratitude to the Lord for that and the anticipation of seeing Bryan again. I have eagerly awaited this study because I’ve been trying to balance my own mourning and dancing this past year. Thank you.

    1. She Reads Truth says:

      Melea, I’m so sorry for your loss. My sister heart mourns with yours in grief and dances with hope, too. Praying for you today, friend.

  89. Sarah says:

    I say to God, my rock:
    “Why have you forgotten me?”
    I have often felt this way when bad things happen to myself or those I love. I wonder how he could have allowed it and perhaps maybe he has forgotten me. Sometimes he feels far away. Emotions of grief cloud the knowledge of his goodness. So true how thoughts are such an unreliable grief companion. They can make us believe that the lord isn’t protecting us or isn’t with us. However if we lean on the truth of scripture it’s so much more reliable than our emotions.
    He will swallow up death forever;
    and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
    and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
    for the Lord has spoken.

  90. Gina says:

    “My sorrow is beyond healing, My heart is faint within me.” Jeremiah 8:18. Hard times are hard. There is no other way to describe them. Thankful for a God that knows the despair of a hurting heart and comforts and brings such peace to a hard situation. “From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”
    ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭61:2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

  91. Deb says:

    Death. For Christians we have hope. I pray I will share this hope with everyone I meet.

    Please pray for my friend, Teri. She has cancer. She has been fighting it for three years and it appears God had decided it is about time for her to feel no more pain. I am not sure how much longer she really has, maybe weeks, but I don’t think she can tolerate the pain very much longer. There is nothing more the doctors can do. They are discussing hospice care now. She is a strong Christian, so she knows the hope there is in dying. Praise God! Please pray for the pain, it is too much for her, and her four children and 12 grandchildren.

    1. Gina says:

      “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!”
      ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭27:13-14‬ ‭NKJV‬‬
      My daughter in law just walked with a friend through a similar situation. Her friend lost her sister in law. Not an easy place to be in as you stand on the sidelines trusting God. Praying the Lord continues to be a Presence in this situation of peace and comfort and love to all those around Teri and for Teri. ❤️

    2. JoAn says:

      Deb, I am a hospice nurse. Encourage her to get into hospice as soon as possible. They will work hard to make her comfortable and make her last days peaceful and easier for her family and friends. May God bless her in her transition into her life everlasting.

      1. Deb says:

        Thanks! I will say something to her about your suggestion.

    3. Michelle Buzek says:

      Praying for Teri, Deb!

      1. Cathy says:

        Yes, I agree with Joan- we would not have made it thru my Daddy’s last weeks in his battle with cancer without the wonderful hospice caretakers. They were such a blessing to my family!!

    4. Christa says:

      Praying for you and your friend.

    5. Joy says:

      Hospice was such a blessing for our family in Momma’s last days. Praying for the peace that passes understanding over you and your friend.

  92. ~ B ~ says:

    Kaitlin, what beautiful words you have written. So many flooding my heart. Thank you for your vulnerability in it, so transparent and moving, God, Himself speaking through your heartache.

  93. Joy says:

    Beautifully written! Music has played such a significant part in my own grieving processes. I found this song shortly before my mom died and recited it over and over in my heart as she finished her journey Home:

  94. “Death can steal our song, but it cannot stop us from singing. And while I hold onto the hope of heaven, I am relieved and comforted in remembering right now.”

    Speaks directly to my soul. Death is not the end, it does not shut us down or take away completely. I thank God for right now. I thank God for showing me to full my take in right now, for it is my gift of many memories.

  95. Susan says:

    “The true root of grief…love”. Profound and a gift, too. We grieve for those loved – and lost. It means we loved good first.

  96. CC Constants says:

    I also am a sister who lost her only sister. I know this pain and live with it everyday. But as you wrote and it rings true, our hope lies in heaven and that is enough to get me through each day. Thank you for sharing and my heart is with you.

  97. Cara says:

    This is so beautifully written. I hung on every word and identified so closely with this story and the way it brought Scripture to light. Thank you for being raw and transparent with your pain… Grief can steal our song but it doesn’t have to keep us from singing.

  98. Dana says:


  99. Mmabutsié says:

    Last night, in bed I sat remembering my nan whom I lost 2 months ago and I could not stop crying. I’m holding on to the verse from today from Psalm 42 and I am patiently but expectantly waiting for God to send his song to comfort me.
    Thank you for sharing.

  100. Katie says:

    These beautiful words. They are heartbreaking, sad, and true. They are also full with the richness of someone remembered and loved. Love. Love does and continues to move us and keep us and hold us in the firm reassurance that Jesus has us all. Our grief is known. It is known by Love Himself. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    1. Susan says:


  101. Sonya says:

    Wow! This devotion and the scripture readings for today really touched my heart deep! Death is a sorrowful thing… And yes, we ache for the ones we lose… Because they are not with us… But it’s so true that the love we have for them never leaves and that’s a testament to the binds of love… Unbreakable…. Incorruptible… When that love is rooted in the truth of Christ and the truth of the cross..