Text: 3 John 1:1-15, Romans 12:3-8, Romans 16:1-16
Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers and sisters, even though they are strangers to you.
– 3 John 1:5, NIV
The first day I met Gus he screamed at me. I had lived a quiet life up to that point, and I had never heard screaming like this. I have screamed on roller coasters, at being tickled, and at swim meets. But never like this.
Gus’s screams terrified me. His eyes were far away and unreasoning. It was like all the darkness in him rushed out of his giant mouth straight into me. I wanted to run away from him and back to my quiet life.
But I couldn’t because Gus was going to be my son, and the paperwork was already at the Embassy in Ethiopia. What was I going to do, chicken out because he’s loud?
Sister, if we were together and you cared to hear, I would tell you about our adoption of two baby boys from Africa, and how they scared the curse words out of me. They still scare the horse apples out of me sometimes. And I would tell you that God has been so gracious and redemptive in our lives. But that’s a long story. Let’s just talk about loving people we are afraid to love, people who maybe scare us because they come from such a different place.
Hospitality is uncomfortable. There are people who make me want to run. I think, to a certain degree, we all like a quiet life. Do you feel totally content with your two or three great friends, and just don’t need to reach out to every crazy lady you meet?
The trouble is, I am that crazy lady. And so are you. We are all on the margins sometimes.
This is the heart of hospitality: finding people on the margins and bringing them in.
Remember in Psalm 68:6, David praises the Lord because He “sets the solitary in families.” This extends well beyond adoption. God has given us so many ways to reach out to the solitary.
The first step to hospitality is obedience: bring people in. This obedience helps us form soup kitchens, care for widows, help orphans, and invite women that are TOO LOUD (or too quiet) into our homes.
But this is only the first step. My wise pastor, George Grant, shared this beautiful verse that tells me there must be a second step. Because once we have invited people in, we are called to love them. In Zephaniah 3 we see this exquisite mystery:
“He will take great delight in you;
in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
but will rejoice over you with singing.”
– Zephaniah 3:17
Our heavenly Father rejoices over us with singing! Pause here before we move on, and read it again: He will rejoice over us with singing.
We are called to imitate Christ, so we can’t just stop at going through the motions and serving folks soup once a year. We are called to rejoice over others with singing; to love them.
Sisters, to me this is the hardest part of hospitality. It’s possible to go through all the motions, but stop short of loving people and rejoicing over them.
Making this jump on our own is impossible. The only way to change our hearts is to submit them to Christ. Pray with me today that God would not only teach us hospitality, but teach us to truly love.
I have a friend I work with who I thought of the whole time I read this nobody at work likes her. She is pretty solitary and she has mental and physical problems. Nobody knows the real her because she covers up her pain with a lot of loud laughter, yelling, and just plain clinginess… This makes people like her less. And I have had my moments with her, because my personality is in strong opposition to hers. There have been times when I just wanted to tell her to leave me alone… But I CANT DO IT. However, this has been the encouragement that I have needed to keep on ministering to her! Lord give the me the power to overcome the things about her that annoy me and love her the way you want me to!!
I love this…..and this is definitely my prayer…..
So I had fallen behind in this study – life, you know. My best friend and I have been reading and discussing our "devos," and last night we talked about how it always seems that God has something very specific to say to us each time we read. I had sat down to read this day's truth three days ago, but life, you know. I got as far as the Scriptures. This morning, I reviewed the passages and began to read Rebecca's beautiful challenges. Lately I've been struggling with some…let's go with unpleasant feelings toward a "loud" (read: difficult) coworker. We're both entering a training class today that will stretch us, and likely draw out the "loudness" in her, and possibly others – myself included. I know I have been called to love, but this extra step of rejoicing – that level of hospitality is one I had not really considered. I know she is in a difficult place, and she needs to experience the love of God. This is the exact Word and challenge I needed today. Father, mold my heart that I may love the "loud" people, rejoicing, and showing them who you are.
This was a good and much needed one for me. Often in my notes I write a few of the sentences that stand out. I realized I was writing almost every sentence in my notebook today. This touched home. I serve weekly, helping pass out much needed items to homeless or very low income families. We have several people that drive us crazy. Sometimes we just want to avoid them. While I do just stay there and listen because I know that God loves them just as much as he loves me, I need more of a heart of hospitality. It is hard to love them and embrace them fully. But I can and I will. I am truly thankful for this study. Its deepening my heart.
Wow… every morning I wake up and read one of these devotionals, I am stunned by how relevant they are to my life. My family has been struggling a lot with family members who are down right mean, stubborn, and very, very difficult to reason with. I have watched these family members yelling at my mom and dad for no apparent reason. They have yelled at me for no reason, either. The easiest thing to do is to yell back, to hate back, to act the same way they have been acting to us. But as Christian, we are called to something higher than that. It's called love. "They will know you are Christians by your LOVE." Love is incredibly stronger than hatred, because it is of the Lord. It is so, so difficult sometimes to want to love someone who doesn't treat you very well, or treat your family very well, but helping them and loving them is so so important. A lot of times those people have things going on in their lives that only love brings out.
Thank you so much SRT. You all are a blessing to me and I am so so so thankful for you all.
After reading today’s entry I have to speak up again. I don’t speak from the perspective of some lovely, noble, woman who has always has all her stuff together but is feeling convicted for not paying attention to particular people. I speak from the perspective of a woman who has been in the ugliest of places countless times, the woman people in a church whispered about, ridiculed, and spread rumors about until we finally left. I am that ugly, scarred, crazy lady far out in on the margins who was taken in, I thought, only to be chewed up and spit back out when I ceased performing like a show pony.
The part of this reading that stabbed me in the eye that I cannot be silent about is this line, “This is the heart of hospitality: finding people on the margins and bringing them in.”
I had people “bringing me in” but unfortunately it was abundantly clear from day one that’s what they were doing. It was abundantly clear that some sick hierarchy exists where those on the higher rungs are doing those of us down among the pond scum a favor by “bringing us in.” They “let us” do things for them to coax us along in our brand new baby steps and seemingly rejoiced and remarked about how much “progress” we had made. If we stepped out of line according to those higher in the hierarchy of righteousness there would be discipline, usually in the form of ignoring and avoiding.
My point is this, TRULY bringing someone in does not mean to go and find some person you feel is the lowly scumbag in need of guidance and proceed to “teach them the ‘right’ (your) way.” Nor is it using manipulation hidden behind claims of love and acceptance to change someone into what you want them to be because you don’t want your shiny friends to see you with some unpolished icky person with a past. I learned firsthand there is a fine line between people encouraging you to be your best and do your best and those trying to mold you into the type of person they would be more comfortable associating with.
My past is what makes me who I am today, of course not all good but certainly not all bad either. All the ugliness, all those dark horrible places I was often advised to keep secret, and all the things that caused Christians to judge me as “too complicated” to be associated with them, are all part of me – if pretending to be someone else is the only way to no longer be on the margins, myself and countless others just like me, will happily stay right where we are.
Your post is very thought provoking and I’m ashamed to admit that I see myself in some of your experiences. You challenge all of us to love without any expectations…. Without the need to see ‘progress’ or ‘change’. Because that is exactly what Christ does for each one of us – He continues to love and brings us in – regardless of our behaviour. He doesn’t make us feel like we have to perform for Him. But instead – His love transforms our hearts. I really pray that there will be people in your life who will love and accept you with all your past. Truth is – we all have ‘stuff’; we all have a past that has shaped us into who we are today. Even the woman that you think appears to ‘have it all together’ – she may have a past that makes it difficult for her to ‘be real’. I am learning that I need to give grace more freely – grace to allow God to change what needs changing and grace to accept the rest! – praying that you will feel God’s great love and great grace today!
Having a brother with a drug and alcohol past, I understand your feelings. It was truly hard for him to accept the "reaching out" by some people because it felt that they were just going through the Christian motions as he used to call it. He would often tell me, Sis, there are those who really love God, therefore love me, but there are those who just want people to think they love God, much less a person like me. Go back and read my post for today. Don't allow your past and your "feelings" to prevent those who really do love you to demonstrate that. My past is not pretty either. I take those moments, choices, and consequences of my past and use them to reach out to others who may have experience the same as me. Use what you have learned through your mistakes to reach those who are hurting just like you. God has cleansed you, no one else has any more cleaning to do. Come to him as you are.
While reading these passages in my Bible, I read some of the commentary. At the beginning of 3 John, there was a section giving a summary of what the book was going to be about. This question was part of it, and it really hit me hard: “do we see people as objects or inconveniences, or as unique creations of a loving God?” I really love being hospitable to those around me that I am used to. My friends mainly, and then the other people that I am used to helping with in the community and from church. But every once in a while, someone else comes along. Someone I am not used to helping. And these someones can honestly sometimes really seem like inconveniences, when this isn’t the case. They are a unique creation of a loving God, just like you and me. Lord, help me see these people as unique creations, not as burdens. Show me how to display your love for them through my hospitality.