Soon after my parents divorced, Dad remarried. Then, he moved out of the city to forty-two acres of flat, cactus-dotted pastureland in Central Florida to pursue his dream of becoming a cattleman-rancher. I loved helping Dad take care of our small herd, especially a solid black calf we named “Inky,” whose mama died while giving birth to him. I nursed Inky with a bottle until he got strong enough to fend for himself. But it wasn’t long before that baby Hereford bonded to me and no longer wanted to stay in the pasture with the rest of the cows. Instead, he followed me around like an oversized puppy, curled up and sleeping outside the house with the our pack of snoring dogs, who completely accepted him despite the fact that he mooed rather than barked.
When my sweet baby bull was about a year old, Dad told me it was time to assimilate him back into the pasture with the herd. I cried, insisting that he didn’t know how to be a cow anymore because he’d become part of our family. But Dad gently encouraged me to think of what was best for Inky, and so I relented. Sadly, not long after we transitioned him from pet back to farm animal, a pack of rabid dogs attacked and killed several cows in the herd, including Inky. And while Inky was a yearling big enough to defend himself, he probably didn’t because he saw dogs as friends, not as potentially dangerous foes. I was inconsolable, devastated by the realization that had I not turned Inky into a pet, he might not have been savagely attacked and killed. My less-than-tender stepmother, however, was annoyed at my grief over a “stupid cow.”
I was just an 11-year-old girl at the time of that mini-tragedy, but that’s when I learned that grief is not an inclusive emotion. Deep ache tends to be an isolating event, and despair tends to put uncomfortable distance between the heartbroken and observers—especially if those observers haven’t processed their own grief and loss. It reminds me of American poet Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s most observed and enduring line: “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone.”
Job certainly walked “the narrow aisles of pain” in solitude. Before the prologue of his story was even finished, he’d lost almost everyone who really mattered to him, except for his wife—who was more salt-in-his-wounds than a comfort at this point—and three so-called friends (Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar), a trio who quickly revealed their distaste for Job’s honest despair, distancing themselves from the awkward messiness of his grief with condescending admonitions. The low-blow gist of his loquacious buddy Eliphaz in chapters 4 and 5 is this: Job, you obviously have hidden sin in your life. That’s why you’re in this pit of destruction. So you may as well quit whining, because no one’s even listening to your prayers!
When my stepmother callously referred to Inky as a “stupid cow,” she was technically correct; bovine creatures don’t have nearly as high of an intellectual capacity as humans. However, she was oblivious to the fact that I had a real bond with that baby bull, which is why she could so easily dismiss my grief as adolescent drama. And that’s essentially the chasm that becomes apparent between Job and his three miserable comforters. Not all of what they say to Job is technically wrong. In fact, most of what they say about God’s inscrutability is accurate in principle. But the spirit of their preaching is crooked because they ignore the fact that Job has a real relationship with God. And the messy, wildly honest grievances he airs actually prove the very real existence of that bond.
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108 thoughts on "Eliphaz’s First Speech"
Lord help me to be better at sitting in grief with those who are grieving
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sorry that’s it’s so isolating and heartbreaking and surreal all wrapped into one. And the physical pain that comes with the emotional and spiritual pain.
There is a point when I have not wanted to discuss my current anxiety and depression as I do not want to ‘annoy’ my friends with this constant battle of the mind. Lord, I am surrendering to you!
Grieving alone has never felt more real than now, I has a miscarriage in August and this month would be my baby’s due date. No one in my family has experienced loss like this before. They try to help like Job’s friends, but sometimes it just falls flat or hurts even more. I’m so thankful for the relationship I have with God and his word to help me through.
❤️
I’ve been through years of illness. God has used it bring me closer to him. No one could understand or comfort me in the deep depths of my misery and despair. Having God to turn changed everything
Lord i will seek you and look to you
Nothing Eliphaz said was incorrect, but he was so wrong! He misinterpreted God’s work in Job’s life as punishment for sin. How often do we do that?
This verse was encouraging to me, knowing “the integrity of my ways” is actually the already finished work of Jesus!
“is not your fear of God your confidence,
and the integrity of your ways your hope?”
Nothing Eliphaz said was incorrect, but he
I really like the quote “laugh and the word laughs; weep and you weep alone”. When you weep you are looked at as unstable and weak. People think that your weeping is unnecessary and over exaggerated. The truth is that they don’t know your situation and they don’t know the kind of relationship you have with the person that you lost or were betrayed by. Never let outside people underestimate your ability to be vulnerable.
rip inky
I’ve always had a hard time understanding the speeches of Jobs friends. Then the story of Inky actually helped a lot! He’s friend said correct stuff but not for the appropriate moment right??
I so appreciate the commentary when it talks about their advice “technically not being wrong.” We are going through a very rough season and have been given some well-meaning but very unhelpful advice and counsel. None of it is technically false but all of it choosing to leave out a HUGE piece of the puzzle. I think in my mind, when advice is technically biblically accurate, I struggle to sort out what I hear from God myself and what is shared with me by friends.
When I lost my mom a year ago I turned to others to help process my grief and to make me feel better about what I had experienced. I found myself unfulfilled and ultimately angry because it wasn’t getting better and I wasn’t being healed. It wasn’t until I turned to God for comfort and grew stronger in my faith that I truly began to heal and process my grief. I can’t imagine where I would be now if I hadn’t made that change and leaned into God.
Madalyn,
I lost my sister in February of 2018 and at the time I had many friends I thought I could turn to. I turned to them the same as you but I quickly learned that it’s something you have to process or understand either by yourself or with others who understand that type of pain. The thing about loss is that you’ll never “get over it” but you’ll learn how to manage the pain. I’m just recently getting back into practicing my faith and jobs has been my center focus. It has truly gotten me back in tune with the life around me and the the grief I’ve put to the side for months. It’s good to know someone else is working through their grief the same as me. I’m sincerely sorry for your loss. May God allow you to gain access to all of the strength and comfort you need.
❤️
I’m not a hypocrite, at least I don’t want to be anymore, so I’m going to be honest. I’m guilty of dwelling in my own misery. Waiting and wanting someone to care or console me. It was so bad i embellished my own woes until I forgot the entire truth. I was missing something that Job had and that’s a relationship with god. That’s crazy he has a relationship with god and still struggled which made me realize how truly lost I was or am. So I’m new to this relationship but I’m feeling better already and realizing how truly blessed I am. I don’t feel weak right now, I feel proud and supported in this new found relationship with God.
❤️
Something that made me think was Job 4:3-6.
I’m constantly encouraging and uplifting others, but if I want my words to be effective, I also have to be the example of my own words. I have to walk in my faith so others see that I truly believe what I’m speaking to them.
Currently in our Sunday School class we have two members who are experiencing great pain and suffering. One member’s wife was in the hospital had complications from a surgery, was in ICU for 2 weeks. She passed away yesterday. Another member has been dealing with serious health issues for a year and a half- amputation that just doesn’t want to heal. In all this I have learned these friends didn’t need me to give them answers about what was and is happening- they just need the presence of friends. Sometimes to sit and talk, sometimes to do nothing but listen, and other times just sit. Each family are believers, they know our God is in full control, but when overwhelmed by circumstances of the road they are traveling – all I need to do is be still and sit. Prayers for all who are in a season of Job right now. May you remain steadfast in your faith.
Sarah D., I had the same thing happen to me at the end of my freshman year of college. It is hard, giving up your childhood home. This may seem silly, but you may find some comfort in walking through your home, Rubin king of the fond and happy memories, and then telling each room goodbye and thanking God for the times you had there. It will likely be sad, you will probably cry, and that is okay. Tears are good for us, they are cleansing.
May you find peace and happiness in your next home, and may God bless you in this transition.
Sorry **Thanks LISA (not “Laura”)
AMAZING devotion today!!
Such a heart-rending story but, completely hit the nail on the head!! I have read the book of Job several times but, had a hard time benefitting from most of it so THANKS SRT!!!
Thanks Laura (and sorry for what you went through) :)
I realized how emotionally isolating grief is, especially when it seems to consume our thoughts. I find myself often having a two way conversation with God and struggling to include others in it because there’s a heart aspect that seems unexplainable. I’m so grateful for the way that was worded in this, it has been difficult for me to process the lack of communication with others. God doesn’t make mistakes and the trials grow us!!
This is so so so good. And just so accurate. Such a great perspective!!
I have tried to study this book myself to end up still confused and am so glad that it was chosen for this devotional. We have such a hard time holding space for others pain. It’s so much easier to intellectualize and assess than to empathize and get down in the pit of despair to just sit and be company to someone in pain. It’s painful for us to watch someone hurt. So we minimize their pain and hand out reason and solutions. All the while alienating that person who is the one actually hurting.
Kate, I have experienced this over the past four years, as my life turned into the pits of pain in many ways like Jobs’, and I have struggled with the absence of people’s empathy or comfort. I ended up abandoned by most I thought were friends and even by many family members. What you say is true: I believe now they didn’t know how to sit and be with me; they couldn’t fix it or offer solutions . It was tough stuff I was living. I hope through this study, I can learn how to “sit” with people in the despair and pain and to not react as people did to me and as Job’s friends did to him.
Kate, I experienced just what you have articulated. Over the past four years, my life has been filled with tragedy , and the people I believed were friends and even some family abandoned me in the pain. I have wrestled with this , as it added so much to my despair. It’s amazing to see it happen to Job here so many years ago. The patterns of our humanity remain the same. I hope this study will spur myself and others on to “sit” with people in their pain even when we can’t offer those solutions . This is what is most needed to survive the depths of despair . Otherwise , Isolation becomes the greatest tragedy of all.
Beth – your words spoke giant truth to me today! Thank you for sharing them. I find myself often wanting to help or comfort or console, and I need to ALWAYS remember to take a step back to know that it is at HIS leading, and not my own needs!
Struggling with all of this as I read. Not because I do not or have not read it before but I find myself many times the outcast of a family who’s roots are deep with the Lord but also covered in legalism and a lack of sympathy or empathy in dealing with me.
So many families are like that. YOU MUST HOLD FAST TO YOUR FAITH. ITS YOUR FAITH NOT THEIRS
A lot of what Eliphaz says about God’s character is true. But the context and assumptions he makes about Job are not. Eliphaz’s main point is that Job would not be suffering if he had not sinned. That clearly Job has a secret sin that is causing God to punish him. Oh the truth of Romans 5:1 “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God”. God doesn’t punish His children! Job’s sin had been forgiven. It was no more. God walks through trials with His children. He never abandons us.
Ah, man, I feel so bad about Inky.
Thank you for these words and reminders
Kerri, yes, I noticed that too!
I think it goes back to what has been said that they’re not completely wrong in what they say.
They have judgement on Job wrong because what he needs is not discipline because he has been approved by God, he is not suffering as a consequence of sins.
These studies in general have made me think a lot about friendship, and this passage has made me pray to be a friend who encourages others to press towards God before I give them a word of admonition. I think there are moments for correction, but I need to be sure it’s the right moment to say so, for it is the Spirit that does the work, not my words.
I am a bit perplexed by today’s reading! I read ch4 & first 1/2 of ch5 as explained…however, ch5:8-22 have a very different ring to me. Anybody else see Eliphaz as the friend who reminds Job of God’s discipline AND restoration? It seems he even encourages Job with God’s full redemption and restoration….anybody else??
I totally read it like that myself. But I’m happy to read different views everyone has on it.
As I get ready to have my first child any day now, I have realized that I cannot protect him/her from the world. I have had fears of being a good mom, protecting my child from suffering and pain. Instead of trying to protect my child from the inevitable, I need to focus on building my child up in the Lord so that when pain and suffering does occur, he/she will not waiver, but be open with our Lord rely on Him alone. I have a constant need to control life to avoid pain and I believe that I decided on this devotional because God led me to it. To remind me that I need to face any pain that may occur with the Grace he was bestowed on me and to transparent with our God.
Beautifully said! I am expecting my 2nd baby in August. The worries and fears of protecting my kiddos from the world increase as my son gets older and there is no rest in worrying. My only peace can come from knowing God sees them and knows them and loves them better than I ever will so I have to rest by trusting His plans for them. Like you, I so much want to control my life to avoid pain for myself and my family. God has been walking me through a season of surrender and I’m looking forward to continuing that journey by studying Job.
It’s so easy to see Eliphaz’s speech as truth. But his theory was dead wrong. Job was not being punished or disciplined. God had already upheld Job as a model of goodness. He was being tested, and I think if we saw our trials and sufferings as tests rather than discipline (even though Lord knows we deserve it), we can act with more clarity and less instinct. I believe it would change how most of us react to certain situations.
I started this study the same day I started listening to Jordan Peterson’s podcast. To be is to know suffering. We strive to live a life that is so meaningful that suffering is bearable. Relationship with God provides meaning. I’m trying to dig into my relationship with God, take it from surface to depth.
One thing that really changed my thoughts on Job was the teaching from Tim Mackie, who says (paraphrased) “Nothing in the Bible says that Job’s friends were RIGHT. This is what happened, but what they said was a mix of wrong and right.” I used to think these self righteous friends were to be listened to, making the painful story of Job even more painful. This helped, as does Lisa’s narrative!
Yes! The Bible Project overviews are sooo helpful to watch before you read through a book of the Bible, but particularly Job! If you’re not sure what you are getting into the book of Job can be so confusing.
The story of Job is such a good reminder for me not to make assumptions about people’s lives. It is so easy to look at his sufferings and jump to the conclusion like Eliphaz did, that it could be solved if he just turned to God for whatever he did to bring this upon himself. I am always searching for the right words to bring comfort and answers to people who are suffering, without usually knowing the whole story. Many times I believe the words I speak to them are more for my own benefit than theirs, so that I know I tried to help and I can live with an unguilty conscious. These passages of Job though have focused me more on searching for humility, patience, and understanding in these situations. I do not have all of the answers because I do not know a fraction of what God is doing in our lives. I pray that I allow Him to use me to bring His comfort to people, rather than speaking empty words for my own benefit.
Amen to this! Yes!
So true! I think as Christians, friends, we sometimes feel that surely we have special words of wisdom to impart, when really all that’s needed is our presence. At least that’s what I am learning. It’s difficult at times to leave myself at the door.
I have some compassion for Eliphaz here. The book is so incredibly difficult to wrestle with. At that time, I believe Job’s friends did not have any experience or context to think about anything but a “if you sin, you receive punishment from God” belief system. I think Eliphaz was trying to delicately offer this as a possibility for Job to consider. Now, I know as the book goes on, it seems that his friends become less and less compassionate. They didn’t understand Job’s relationship with God and how honest he could be with Him. I’m thankful this book is included in the Bible to show us that God cannot be put inside any box!
Loved this reminder to recognise that grief may be an individual act. Offering compassion when other grieve allows us the opportunity to grow as humans as well as nurture ourselves when we grief. We can expect that while others may not understand, we can rest knowing that our grief is not misplaced. As long as we know of the connection between ourselves and whatever we have now lost.
It’s very interesting to see the different interpretations of these 2 books of Job! I actually saw the more positive side, as Tasha did. I think Eliphaz was trying to encourage job, especially in chapter 5, though he wasn’t being very diplomatic about it. Job 5:17-18 stood out to me – the verses are both an eye opener (“do not reject the discipline of the Almighty”) and encouragement (“he strikes, but his hands also heal”). Eliphaz reminds me of my best friend, who is brutally honest, but has a big heart. Her truth bombs have a tendency to make me uncomfortable, but almost always give me a better perspective.
Today was a hard day for me, but more as a consequence to actions as opposed to an outward trial brought on by others. God is using the last year to show me my largest idol and slowly tear it down so all I want is to love Him. This book is continually showing me how great He is and how He deserves my sole devotion.
Hmm, I have read many interesting takes on today’s passages. People whose posts I look forward to and respect read it with a different viewpoint than I have had. Thank you ladies for giving me food for thought and something else for God to work into my heart and mind.
When I read this today, I felt like Eliphaz’s comments were steeped in jealousy. He began by stating ways Job had been respected and admired for helping others but,… to me he seemed to say when it was Job’s turn to suffer, Job “wasn’t following his own advice.” In verse 17 when he says, “Can a mortal be righteous before God? Can a man be more pure than his Maker?” he seemed to be insinuating that Job wasn’t as great as he thought himself to be (or as he seems to be portrayed to others). In chapter 5 he talks about appealing to God – stating God’s almightiness first, as would be expected, while reminding Job that God corrects and disciplines. True to the culture in that day, I felt that he was saying Job had a hidden sin that he needed to repent of and be forgiven of before things would get better.
Being very real, I question myself sometimes…when bad things, especially tragic things… I think, have I done something wrong? Is God punishing me for something? Is He using this to get my attention about something? I start trying to evaluate if there is any sin I do not realize or worse, do realize, and am closing my eyes to. I am not sure if this would be considered healthy or not. I do know that anything that causes me to get on my face before God and humbly seek His will I will call a blessing and thank Him for. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean it is easy, but I am always thankful that He loves me enough to continue to grow me and draw me closer to Him.
Bless you, mama.
This teaches me two things can’t take someone’s purpose or destiny from them they have to be trained and raised in the way they should go who and what they were called to be. Also just bc we have hurts etc doesn’t make us less a person of faith it makes the relationship with God more real and authentic. Most of all don’t let anyone discount you if you feelings and emotions to the point of questioning your faith and trust in God.
What a wonderful study! Thirty years ago this summer I had a stillborn daughter. In my grief, I was led to read Job. It helped to heal my broken heart.
What an awesome read!
We all suffer and sometimes we have to suffer alone with God because no one will really understand
I too read the Scriptures today with a different perspective. Eliphaz seems to recount to Job what he knows about his friend : that Job is exhausted with grief over his losses and that Job has been a wise friend and counselor to many. Eliphaz seems to remind Job that Job can lean on his past integrity and piety for confidence and hope in his present circumstances. He reminds Job that the wicked reap what they sow and that Job, as a righteous man, should appeal to God. Job’s losses seem unfair for a good man. Eliphaz does admit that God does discipline people and that Godly discipline produces good results for those who have a covenant relationship with God. I see Eliphaz initial interaction here to be encouraging as well as acknowledging that God’s ways are not always discernable. I think Eliphaz is challenging Job to figure out if he truly is righteous and if this is God’s discipline. Very tough for Job to do when he’s exhausted by fresh and overwhelming grief. I agree with Lisa in that Eliphaz is speaking truth but the “in love” aspect is sorely missing. When grief is so evident, compassion should be given in equal measure. That is where Eliphaz fails his friend. That is where Eliphaz’ words become friendly fire instead of a healing balm.
That is how I read this as well…
I think because their idea of justice was seen as rewards for being good and wise and if someone was judged then they had obviously sinned, Lisa is right in saying Eliphaz is telling Joh he must have some secret sin he needs to confess and then his suffering would end.
I read the reading today more this way as well. When I read the devo I got confused, but kept thinking “God’s words can be received in different ways to different people.” While grief is a real feeling, can’t God use our loved ones to assure we don’t get stuck in negative feelings. Churchmouse I love how you said “when grief is so evident, compassion should be given in equal measure.” Coming from someone who struggles with tact- it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
Same here! I had to re-read it because I thought I missed something.
I completely agree. This is how I read the passage as well. I didn’t get the negativity from Eliphaz’s speech from my initial reading. I’ll have to re-read it.
wow this is beautiful! I understand so much more through your words! It’s so easy to give someone scripture and say this is what you need to do in the midst of grief but when you make more of a command then a loving hug than it is pointless. Direction comes with love and being there for someone in grief with a loving heart is so important!
I’m LOVING Lisa Harper’s 3 devotions so far. Thank you SRT for having her be a part of this study. Her words & illustrations are a perfect compliment to the biblical passages. ❤️
“Isn’t your piety your confidence, and the integrity of your life your hope? Consider: Who has perished when he was innocent? Where have the honest been destroyed ?”Job 4:6-7
How often do we put our hope in our “good life” or that we are “following God”, and then our own failures or cracks in our relationships crush us. Despairing thoughts like, “I wasn’t a good enough leader or wife or friend” reveal our hope in ourselves and not our unshakable place with Christ.
“Therefore, since we have been declared righteous by faith, we have peace with God though our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:1
Also my dad is sick with a fever/stomach bug, which is just adding to the stress my parents have of selling the house. Prayers appreciated for them too, for peace and that my dad will get better soon. Thank you all!
Will pray for him. And you too.
Praying for you and your family, Sarah D.! May you soon feel at home in your new home and as you unpack your belongings, may you feel like you are surrounded by old memories! Praying for the transition for both your family and the family moving into your old home. May beautiful new memories be in store for you both!
Wow, much needed. So I’m back home from school for spring break, and it’s been hard. My parents are selling my childhood home, and going to retire soon and live in our house in the country. This house is the only one I’ve lived in all my life. It was so sad to come in and see the sign in the front yard, all the changes made to the house, all our furniture and most belongings gone, replaced with the “staging” furniture. My parents already found a buyer and signed the contract. The buyers are a family with two kids, and they even wrote a sweet note saying how they will take care of it, and that the kids already picked out their rooms. Well, I cried when I heard that, and I’m crying now! Still gets to me. Part of me knows that they are a blessing and that is so nice of them to have handwritten that. But then another part of me is sad to give it up to someone else. It’s so hard not to walk through and around the house without thinking of all the memories we’ve had here. It’s hard. But I know that I can always hold on to the memories, no matter where my family is. Please pray for me and my family, that this would go smoothly, and that I would be strong. Love you all.
Sarah my heart goes out to you. But the memories are still alive and well. Find peace in knowing that your parents time of retirement will be spent on something they have probably wanted for years. And….. if you have a family your children will visit their grandparents IN THE COUNTRY
I also intupereted this section differently. I also saw that Eliohaz was reminding Job of promises from the Lord. He was asking Job to get out to Lord and he will improve his situation. He also called Job blameless. This makes sense to me bc this after they have spent quite a few days mourning with Job, it confused me that they would sit and mourn with Job but then turn on him.
I definitely felt that vibe as well Nikki. I think it’s amazing how God can shape our thoughts around His word so that we hear what we individually need!
“And the messy, wildly honest grievances he airs actually prove the very real existence of that bond.” I am not sure if I felt more alone and at the same time more close to God then I did when I was walking through the darkest days of grieving the loss of my parents. Grief is messy!
I think Job’s friend starts out encouraging Job, then challenges him and then along the way that turns to blaming him saying that he should be blessed that God is correcting him. Then goes back to encouraging by saying He would be delivered, protected, that he would laugh at the destruction. In verse 26 of chapter 5 Job’s friend says “You will come to the grave in full vigor….”
I think this particular friend really just didn’t know what to say to his friend and went through all the same thoughts that I thought about myself when going through my journey of grief and loss. I blamed myself, I blamed others, I thought God was punishing me, I blamed God and through it all He was with me!
On another wonderful note. I am so thankful for all the godly women who have come alongside me to walk this journey with me. For all the godly families that have come beside us to walk this journey with us. For all the godly teenagers and preteens that have come alongside to walk this journey with my two beautiful children.
OK…. The mom in me wanted to wrap my arms around this this 11 years old girl. My heart ached for her. My my heart aches for my two beautiful children right now. It’s been over a year and a half since we separate ourselves from their dad. It’s been a long journey. There’s still a lot healing that needs to happen for all of us especially my 13-year-old daughter. Please pray for her. Her name is Alyssa.
Hi Mari, my parents separated when I was a teenager. It was very difficult, but I emerged strong and whole because, though my mom and dad went their separate ways, I was secure in the love that each of them had for me. I pray that your children heal from this, and that God gives you and your husband the wisdom to love them through this. And I pray that God heals and comforts you too!
As an additional resource, I would highly recommend listening to the podcast episodes of “The Bible Recap” where they recap Job. It helped me so much to understand these passages.
On another note, as I read this I felt the Spirit warning me to be careful about friends with “near enough” theology…you know where they kind of get it right, just right enough to be dangerous because they are missing the nature and character of God.
Poor Job.
Poor Inky! How heartwrenching. Oh my tenderheart broke for you when I read that. I am so sorry you didn’t receive empathy. How very heartbreaking. <3 I am so glad you could use your opportunity of immense pain and suffering to later guide others to learn more about Christ. Thank you.
The section is titled “Absolutely never say this to people experiencing terrible times”
Lisa, thank you so much for the thoughts you are sharing with us, helping us understand the book of Job. I am reading it with fresh eyes and a new appreciation today.
In walking with a family member through cancer that is causing sadness in my own life, I am seeing the hardness in the comments of Eliphaz, when he says things like “if I were you” in 5:8, or 4:8 “in my experience”. Friends recently shared with me an excellent short reading, an appendix in “Things happen for a Reason (and other Lies I’ve Loved)” by Kate Bowler – it helped me think about the well-intentioned comments or comfort I offer to others in a new way.
Lisa, I am sorry about Inky,but am so grateful you shared this story with us.
I agree with Tasha Moore on her comment. I had a completely different interpretation of this passage of scripture. For me, Job’s friend was trying to remind him of all God’s promises that Job himself told to many others in grief before him.
It’s only been 3 days but I am already super excited for what is to come. The honesty and vulnerability of job’s conversation with God has given me permission to be vulnerable in an honest and respectful way. Thank you Lisa ❤️
Not to be picky, but that black calf was no Hereford…
Lisa Harper…what a gift you are.
My prayers are with you. I know all too well the pain of grief…the aching of your heart, the whirl of emotions, and the intense loneliness. It’s so hard to feel God’s presence even though we know He is always there. Remember that even when the people around you may not understand what you are feeling or how to comfort you, God does. On the cross, He experienced the weight of every. Single. Pain. ever known to man. He knows what deep grief is like. He knows what loneliness feels like (Gethsemane). He knows what loss feels like. He aches with you, sweet friend.
This is beautiful. Thank you for these wise words that bring to light the real pain, torment, aloneness and heartache Jesus suffered on the cross. And, because He did, He knows. And knowing He knows make Him all the more approachable and able to comfort.
I got a very different message from Job 4-5 than Lisa did in the devotional… I saw it as Jobs friend reminding him that God will improve his situation, and that just because we have blessings and are honorable in the sight of God, does not mean that we are untouchable of hardships and issues….
Same! I got this message too, I thought he was a bit sarcastic in 4:5, but overall he was reminding Job (admittedly in a blunt way) that God is so good and that He is the fixer of all problems. True! I got this from Job 4-5 too, Tasha
I agree that in rereading the passage I could see it both ways. It made me curious and so I read ahead to Job’s reply. It seems that Job is interpreting his friend’s words as trite and a little condescending, even if that’s not how they were meant. It makes me think about how when we speak to someone who is suffering, our words have to pass through their lens, and so even if we mean well, what we mean for comfort might not be taken that way. And vice versa- I know that in hard times, sometimes I don’t want people’s explanations or canned wisdom, but rather someone to simply say “that’s hard, I’m sorry, I’m here for you”.
Amen!
Feeling so alone in my grief now. I feel like no one can fully grasp the heartbreak I’m feeling and how it just sucks the life out of me every day for the last three months. Thankful to have a God who can see me in my brokenness and makes me feel less alone.
I am so sorry for the pain and grief you are carrying. I can’t understand your particularly grief but I can relate. I lost my mom six weeks ago. The heartache can be so overwhelming. It’s like being on the ocean and the waves just keep coming until you feel like you may drown. Every now and then it will subside but then you get smacked in the face again. Praying for God’s overwhelming presence in your life. That has been the one thing that I have been able to cling to. He is a good, good Father.
I may not have known the grief that either of you have felt, but please know that I’m praying for God’s sovereign love to envelope you in the way that you need. I pray He will draw you to Himself and you will find rest from the heavy emptiness or sadness you are feeling.
There is a part of me that agrees with some of this, but I know there have been times when I haven’t grieved alone, but I have grieved differently. So in that sense i was alone in processing the way I grieved. But I definitely can understand people not filling understanding my grief or loss. And i definitely think the Lord grieves with us in a way. When I lost my best friend, I held onto, and still do, when Jesus lost Lazarus. He wept for Lazarus. God knows that pain. Jesus felt that pain. And like that story, I was like the sisters. Asking why God didn’t stop it or change things. And while they got Lazarus back in this life, I know I will see my friend again in Heaven. That is comforting in so many ways. But I also know God is using her story and who she was because of the Holy Spirit in her to share His love.
This was absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful! Thank you! ~ B
❤️
It is so tempting to offer platitudes and words to “fix” the problem when you are sitting with someone in the midst of their grief. It’s awkward and uncomfortable, and it’s tempting to fill the silence. How these words must have stung to Job!
So far, it seems like the wisest thing Job’s friends did was simply sit with him in his grief, not offering words, but rather their presence (chapter 2). Lord, guide my actions and words as I seek to love others. Keep my toungue from speaking too quickly only to ease my own discomfort. Teach me how to sit with others in their pain as you sit with us.
Amen
Yes! It’s super hard to sit in silence but most of the time that’s what’s wanted and needed.
Amen.
There are so many things I have already learned in these first 5 chapters.
My perspective on suffering has changed. We will always have suffering. This world is broken and the result is pain, grief, sickness, death…all the bad. The important thing for me as a child of God is how I suffer. Is my suffering pointing towards God’s goodness and for His glory?
I can express my confusion, frustration, anger at God without rejecting God. When I do that I am trusting Him with every piece of my heart. “It is not our anguish that distances us from God; it’s our apathy.”
From today’s reading – I need to be careful not to presume to know God’s plan; to understand why something is happening. I don’t have an answer to suffering. All I can do is love and support those who suffer and point them to God. Eliphaz did not do this.
I need to test the advice of others through the filter of ALL God’s Word. To be able to do that I need to know God’s truth fully so that I am able to discern full truth from partial truth.
Thank you, She Reads Truth, for this study.
So good! Amen!
Thank you for sharing. Your words were
Kathy, thank you for sharing. Your words are so true and strong!
Amen. X
Lisa Harper… God bless you for this truth you speak…
A real relationship with God is not always going to be rosy with the big ribbon and all we expect it to be, but the truth and faithfulness of God means that He is always close..(closer than we would ever know,).
I love that through His trial Job, never lost sight of that.. Gods goodness. Gods promises. Gods heart. Because of the relationship he had with God, he knew his God..He knew Him!
Lord God, when the trials come, may I never lose sight of who you are… my Sovereign Lord. My God in whom I trust. My God with whom I have a relationship. My God of whom i can say…
But God..
..With certainty that you are and will always be my God. My HOPE.
Amen..
Happy Wednesday with love and hugs wrapped in prayers for a God blessed day for all.. xxx
So good♥️