The book of Proverbs is a guide for pursuing godly wisdom in our daily lives. In this four-week study, we will read a selection of topical proverbs covering different aspects of wisdom, from how to interact with our friends, families, and neighbors, to fearing God and keeping His commands. No matter the subject, these proverbs urge us to wrestle with and reflect on our own response to them. To help you better engage with the proverbs in this reading plan, we have provided you with a short introduction and reflection questions for each day.
On a purely intellectual level, the concepts of seeking counsel, remaining teachable, and exploring what we do not understand make perfect sense. But because we are proud, our hearts often tense up at the suggestion that we have much to learn. The way of wisdom is about more than simply obtaining new information. It’s about living as part of a community where we gladly regard one another as valuable.
Reflection Questions:
What does it look like to walk with wise people (Proverbs 13:20)? How is this something you are doing, or could do, in your life?
How do you react when people try to tell you what you should do? How do you react to a command from God that you’re not particularly fond of?
Think about the people who have counseled and instructed you. Are you becoming someone who has counsel and instruction to give? Is there anyone in your life right now who needs your wisdom, experience, or counsel?
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42 thoughts on "Counsel and Instruction"
These verses really stuck out to me today as this is a daily struggle for me. Seeking counsel and wisdom is hard when you feel you should be in control and should be able to do things without help. God is really working in my life on this right now – both at work and in my personal life. Proverbs 19:20 and 11:14 are the two verses from the reading today that really spoke to me.
As I have matured, I have come to appreciate counsel and maintaining wise company. Situations we would other use find ourselves in, we avoid when we seek wise counsel/ advice before we make decisions.
Initially, I can respond to correction with shame,…sometimes I become concerned about being seen, really seen. However, as I press in, I find that the shame is not from Jesus nor from the church, so it is easier easier for me to sit and experience correction and growth.
God provided wise women in my church to walk in understanding at my church. It was so important to have that in my life as a new believer. We need to find a strong Christian church that teaches the word of God and believes the whole Bible is the inspired word of God and pray for wisdom to the Lord. He will bring people in our path when we need it and teach us through their counsel.
To walk with the wise means to keep people around you who are also seekers of God. I can do this by forming intentional friendships with people who also walk with God. Doing so, would allow us to help each other and counsel each other, so we can keep our focus on Him. When people try to tell you what to do it is important to have discernment or the knowledge of whether or not their request is of God. If it is not of God, then depart from it. Gods word says to depart from all evil. I feel as though I am in the process of becoming someone who can counsel and instruct others however, I feel as though I’m not quite there yet. I think I still have a lot of knowledge to learn about God before I can instruct others confidently. I will be patient and just trust the process that God has placed me in and I’m sure he’ll lead me to where I need to be.
I think to walk with wise people is to walk with others who have God in their hearts. I am hoping to join a church community soon where I can make friendships that foster my relationship with God.
I love this ❤️
It was life changing when a Godly woman came into my life and gave me instruction and shared her wisdom with me. I need to find more people to bring into my life that are willing to be honest and give correction when it is needed.
I have learned over the years to seek God in prayer along with a limited circle of women who we pray daily together for wise counsel I seek God and my husband who also is my Pastor.
I can appreciate when my uncle’s and aunties will give me advice because they’re looking from the outside in a nd are able to offer an outside perspective. I am always really open to hearing from them. Whereas my mother’s delivery is always quite haughty and flippant so that impacts me taking it in.
My grandparents and uncle were mentors and i thank god for the foundation.
I’m really really thankful I have someone in my life who I can message or talk to who is wise and understands me. Maybe I’ll message her today. I miss seeing her often but it’s nice knowing she’s just a message away.
I long for a woman who is wise council who can walk along beside me. I have never really had that.
I understand. I’ve never had anyone like that either. But you see it all the time and wonder what It’s like.
I think walking with the wise means having someone who is older, more mature in their faith be with you in different seasons in life. To learn from them, to hopefully be drawn closer to the Lord through it. Depending on who is telling me what to do, I may get defensive and prideful. Which I hate. But I feel conviction from the Lord. I know His instructions and commands are true and I should abide in them. I feel like I have wisdom to give. But I don’t know who would need it.
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I am really thankful for having what I call a ‘church mum’ in each church I’ve been a member of over the last 15 years or so since I left home. God has been very good to me giving me ladies who love him and know his word and who have guided me through singleness, early marriage and the little children years. I hope God will give me friends for whom I can be their ‘church mum’ one day and the wisdom that these ladies have shown me!
I love what you’ve said about hoping your children can say they saw Jesus in you. Beautiful. Praying that my young son can say that one day too.
I am so glad I have a group of friends in my small group that my husband and I go to every other Tuesday. I am really glad I reconnected with my childhood friend she is a Christian and we text all the time and pray for each other. I am thankful I have friends on this website. I just love this website.
I am SO thankful for the women who came along side me as a new believer and really helped shape my walk with Jesus. Coming from a broken home I never knew how to set boundaries and they gave me honest and sometimes harsh counsel, but I knew they were right and were speaking out of love. Now I’m more seasoned and find that I am at a place where a new believer at my office is seeking wisdom from me and I am honored to share God’s wisdom.
“Garbage in, garbage out” I tell my kids. It applies to me, too!
I meant Audrey! Wow really struggling with the app today lol
Marya I meant to reply to you! It does seem like the reply feature isn’t working? Aubrey I felt your post was beautiful as well!
I have felt the same, thank you for sharing!
I have recently been blessed with some christian women in my life. I’m so thankful! I’m so happy to know that I have their prayers and wise counsel. I find I need to pray to accept wise counsel and correction. I do pretty well with it unless it feels controlling. I believe how you approach and talk to someone is of upmost importance. Be gentle and loving. I’m praying to one day be capable of wise counsel for others.
I pray that God will give me more opportunities to share the wisdom I have been given. It can be hard to find the time to truly invest in relationships during this season of motherhood.
To me, walking with wise people is walking with those who have known the Lord longer or have studied the Lord longer than I have. My father was one of those. My father read his Bible daily but didn’t claim to know everything about it. He was very wise though about where things were in the Bible. This was one of the few subject I would enjoy talk about with him. My siblings and I grew up going to church every Sunday. One of my fondest memories is being taught in Sunday school by my paternal grandma, all of my siblings were. I can also remember anytime I was in the hospital and having problems and my father came to see me he would pray over me and for me and I would feel so much better. My father has gone to be with God but his memories will live on with me.
My reaction to people telling me what to do varies on who it is and how or what tone they tell me to do it in. I have found after 40 years of nursing, many of which I was a charge nurse, the tone and the words you use to tell or ask some one to do something make a big difference. Most of the time I will react and do as I am asked especially if it is put to me in a way that is non-confrontational. When God asks though I sometimes will hem-haw around about doing it.
I have counseled people due to my profession as a nurse. I have also counseled people in regards to what I have learned through my life experiences. When I counsel people I try to do it in a way that is non-confrontational.
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I grew up in a close-knit church, and have continued to be on my journey to present time. But through those twenty’s, where you think everything is revolving around yourself and you are all-knowing, I definitely slipped away. God gently disciplined me and pulled me back after many mistakes and wrong paths. I am grateful that for the hard times that sharply turned me back the right direction and for my growing wisdom. I am thankful for SRT, and find that reading the comments really give me an extra benefit. I am unable to respond directly with the reply button as I see others seem to not be able to as well. Maybe SRT can fix that, for it worked in the past from my laptop. I think the ones that can might be doing from the phone app. It would be nice if the person receiving a reply could get notifications as well! Usually, once you comment, you might not go back and look?! Thank you staff!
I have been reading posts here for years but have never posted myself. Today, Proverbs convicted me that I need to put myself out there and share what I have to offer, not just consume and be afraid. I feel much the same as Paula, not trusting humans and their instruction. But really this is all about pride and not wanting to need anyone. But giving all the time to others and not receiving is exhausting and lonely and cannot be maintained. So here I am SRT community. I’m grateful to be here.
I’m running late, need to get to work earlier today, plus I’m riding my bike to work as my son needs my car. I read the first question instead of answering on my journal which I don’t journal very often. But then I read the last part of the question. A couple of things I want to say. Sometimes it’s hard to hear what you don’t want to hear but you do it anyway when it’s coming from a godly woman who has your best interest at hand. I’m so thankful for my Celebrate Recovery Sponsor and my best friend who is very godly and wise. I’m so glad I was at a point where I wanted to listen even when I didn’t like it. Now after two 12 steps back to back i’ve been asking God how I can get back. Where does He Want me to serve. Ironically couple opportunities have come up where is just been speaking to other women and most recently to a very young lady who is walking her road that I’ve already walked and have come alongside her to do my best to guide her, share with her my experiences. I don’t want this young lady to go down that road and I was very strong in a loving way for her to make better choices in her life especially since she is so young. I’m praying that God will give me and continue to give me words of wisdom for this young lady. I don’t want to see her walk the road that I walked.
(1) To walk with wise people is to befriend others who know more and have experienced more than me. It’s to grow close to someone you respect and look up to. They can help guide you and instruct into becoming the human you desire. I do this by watching people who have YouTube channels who are in a place where I would like to be. I could do this more by attending church and getting involved.
(2) When people try to tell me what to do I react in a couple different ways depending on who the advise is coming from. If it is someone I don’t look up to or have little respect for I tend to ignore their counsel whether they are right or wrong. If it is someone of the opposite I accept their counsel. When a command from God comes that I am not fond of. I tend to question it and hesitate but the more I understand I become obedient to his commands.
(3) Yes, I think I am becoming a women of good counsel and instruction. This study helps. Not too many people in my life right now that need my instruction or counsel just a few. My sister and the maintenance lady at my apartment complex. I’m still growing in wisdom though.
I am only 16, but reading through Proverbs I’ve been looking back on everything I’ve been through with anxiety and experiences I’ve had that are out of normal and I realize how the wisdom I have been praying for is already starting to bloom! I can’t wait to help others with it.
Thank you!!!
I took some time this morning to write down some of the names of people who have showed me godly guidance and wise counsel over my Christian walk (I have been walking with the Lord for 40 years! Wow, I don’t feel that old!). The pages are filled with incredible men and women who have been there through many stages of my life. I hope they know – and am thinking it might be a lovely thing to try and connect with them and make sure they know! We could all use some encouragement, now more than ever.
Thankful for you, sisters, especially the wise words of Churchmouse- I am adding you to my list!
My mentor, or spiritual big sister (as I called her) is in Heaven now. But God brought her into my life at the perfect time-as I was struggling as a baby Christian in the midst of a family who wondered why I was “changing”. Margaret tutored me in the ways of the Lord, listened to me when I grew discouraged, lovingly admonished me when I fell short, etc. In short, she was “Jesus with skin on” to me. I love the phrase “You may be the only Jesus so and so may ever see”. It certainly carries some accountability for my behavior around others. I’ve raised 6 children & have many grandchildren. My hope would be that someday they could each say they saw Jesus in me.
Last night my friend invited me to go climbing at our local rock-climbing gym. She is much more experienced than I am. She models what it looks like to humbly search out “counsel and instruction” in order to grow in the skill of climbing. She also models what it means to “always climb within your capabilities. Don’t climb higher or harder than your experience allows…” (Vertical Ventures). She lives up to what she has already attained (Php. 3:16), and she is not hasty but intentional. Last night, she climbed with an injury from a previous session. She was not zealous for progress to conquer new heights, instead she was mindful of her own capability in light of the injury. Proverbs 19:2 reminds us that “zeal” and “enthusiasm” without knowledge is not good-how much more will hasty miss the way! “and “impatience get you into trouble” (NIV and GNT). She shared with me how the injury to her finger is helping her be more attentive to her current moves in order to avoid further injury and believes that the injury, once healed, will help her technique, as a whole, improve. Her wisdom taught me the importance of climbing within my own capabilities. Her knowledge led her and me to wisdom, keeping her from further damage and warning me to heed her example to do the same. This is what it looks like to walk with wise people. Wise people invite you into their experience (she could have easily hidden the fact that she had an injury) and into their ups and downs. Not only do wise people want to succeed, they want you to succeed. My friend watched me climb last night, and she helped me understand how to make better moves, so I could progress in places where I was having trouble. Wisdom is God/others centered, not self-centered or hasty, but intentional and mindful. It invites God to comfort in trouble and injury and then walks beside others to comfort them in their experience of trouble and injury (2 Corinthians 1:4). My friend didn’t leave me alone; instead, she stayed with me to the end. God’s Word is also with us to the end reminding us to “hold on to instruction; don’t let go. Guard it for it is your life” (Proverbs 4:13). If I “listen to counsel and receive instruction” God’s Word tells me that my wisdom will grow. In this, my capabilities to climb more difficult routes (on the wall and in life) will grow and I will be equipped to share this wisdom, experience, and counsel with others like my friend continues to share with me. Jesus, help me to not lose sight of Your sayings, but help me to “keep them within my heart. For they are life to those who find them, and health to one’s whole body” (Proverbs 4:20-22).
What does it look like to walk with wise people (Proverbs 13:20)? How is this something you are doing, or could do, in your life?
I am amazed and so grateful when I consider all the wise people God has placed in my life. Right now, I am just thinking about my book club. We’ve been together for about 10 years now, and I learn so much from each and every one of them! I’ve learned so much about kindness, acceptance, discernment, forgiveness. I’ve learned how to understand and communicate with others better, especially as an outsider to this particular region of the country. I am still learning (and probably always will!) when to be silent and when to speak. Together, we tackle parenting, marriage, sickness, and our faith. We wrestle with big issues and small ones, too. We celebrate together and grieve together. I am blessed to walk with these wise women.
(1) What does it look like to keep counsel with the wise? How can I do that in my life?
So my pride is gonna show up here… I confess that immediately. But I do try to saturate myself in wisdom. This is first through relationship with God. I have serious limits to my ability to see humans as wise. So my primary source for wisdom and the shear relief of sitting under wisdom is time with The Teacher. I also read and listen to a number of wise philosophers, theologians, researchers and people generally willing to vulnerably share their authentic stories with me. I soak up wisdom where ever I can find it.
(2) How do you react when people try to tell you what to do? How do you react when God gives you a command you don’t particularly care for?
Sigh… definitely not well. To people specifically. I am embarrassed to say that when I am corrected by people or people try to tell me what to do while I mostly keep a cool exterior my interior is boiling with offense or superiority. I am so sorry Jesus. But this is the absolute truth. I do MUCH better with God. It’s not always been that way. When I was less mature, I would demand God explain himself to me (oh heavens was my pride out of control). But He was gracious and always right. So now, I seek His correction. I like the feeling honestly. I feel protected and safe.
(3) Are you being called on to counsel? Are there people in your life that are looking to you for wisdom?
I am a psychologist/psychotherapist/counselor by trade. So yes… all day long… everyday.
I had to smile reading this! Last night this was the topic at youth group and I was discussing similar questions with middle schoolers! I value life long learning and I love the application of life long learning with God and to KNOW him. We were discussing last evening about busyness being a detractor from having a mentor. It’s something I have yearned for and need. I’m sensing I need to re-evaluate schedules to make room for this intentionally in my life beyond books and having friends who are Christians.
I am beyond blessed to have 3 friends who I can go to for Godly wisdom and advice. Sometimes it might not always be what I want to hear or might hurt to hear, but I know it comes from a place of love and respect. It’s funny because when I know I’m doing something wrong or sinful, I’ll purposefully not tell them until I’m ready to hear what they have to say. I think that reflects Adam and Eve hiding from God after they sinned. I’ve always longed for a Christian mentor, but after 24 years of life I can’t think of anyone who I considered a “mentor” in my faith. There were plenty of people between church, Christian high school, and Christian college who invested in me and poured into me, but no one who was “MY” mentor. I also have a desire to mentor middle school/high school girls, but with my grad school schedule it’s just not possible at the moment. I know God has placed that desire in my heart and will bring about the right opportunity at the right time. God created us to be in community with one another and to pour into others and vice versa. I’m so thankful for this community at SRT and the ways we pour into one another and pray for one another!
During this season of Covid, my physical exposure to fellow believers beyond my own family is minimal. I am grateful for the technology that keeps me virtually connected to my small Bible study group and this forum of SRT. So much wisdom, so much wise counsel shared! Today I will pray for all those who yearn for the intimate fellowship of other believers, a Christian mentor, or just a Christian friend. We so need each other, especially in this season.