Controlling the Tongue

Scripture Reading: James 3:1-12, Psalm 12:1-8, Matthew 12:33-37

Twelve years ago, I served in a ministry teaching the Bible to marginalized youth—many of the kids hoarded food for the next meal, showed up without a jacket on a cold winter day, or wondered where they would sleep that night, but all seemed unaware of their need for a Savior. During those years, I met Gregory.

A strong-willed, charismatic, and creative boy, Gregory was labeled a troublemaker from day one. Week after week, words from parents, teachers, and friends cut him down until he no longer believed anything good about himself. God showed me that before Gregory could hear the truth of how his heavenly Father saw him, I had to faithfully show up for him.

Gregory taught me a sobering truth: Words can speak life—or death. That kind of power demands responsibility. Week after week with those kids, I practiced pausing and responding with patience and noticed the Spirit used my words to build up rather than tear down. In what often felt like heartbreak on repeat, God demonstrated the everyday power of the tongue.

James says that “with the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in God’s likeness” (James 3:9). Our words reveal how we see others. Do I see the person before me as made in the image of God, in need of the same grace I depend on?

The danger of words lies in their lasting power—they can affirm goodness or become lies that damage identity and relationships. Because of Jesus’s work on the cross, we can allow the Spirit to direct not only our words, but our whole lives, like a bit guiding a horse or a rudder steering a ship (vv.3–4). Still, our humanity tempts us to excuse the careless things we say. The psalmist warned that “what is worthless is exalted by the human race” (Psalm 12:8), and James added, “Blessing and cursing come out of the same mouth….these things should not be this way” (James 3:10). Only with the Spirit can we control the uncontrollable.

But this difficult, worthwhile struggle leads us toward wholeness. James wrote, “If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is mature, able also to control the whole body” (v.2). This maturity points us toward our ultimate purpose—walking with the Spirit toward wholeness. Gregory didn’t need perfect words from me—he needed faithful presence, consistent truth, and words aligned with action. By the power of the Spirit, in time, life-giving words began to replace the lies. I witnessed Gregory transform, believing he was worthy of God’s love and blessing.

Jesus taught, “the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart. A good person produces good things from his storeroom of good” (Matthew 12:34–35). Storing up good starts right here, meeting with Jesus, reading God’s word to know and love Him more.

Lord, fill us with Your goodness so our words might overflow life—for Gregory and for those You place before us today.

Written by Julie Dickerson