A Prayer for When God Seems Silent
Open Your Bible
BY Minnie Lee
Reading the first part of this psalm took me back to when I went through the most prolonged and scariest health crisis I’d ever experienced.
My prayers during this season had many different colors:
“God, I’ve been asking you to heal my body for years and years…but now, instead of healing me, I’m worse than ever! I really believed that you’d heal me; haven’t I trusted you, Lord? Why is this happening?”
It felt like there was no answer.
“Father, did I do something wrong that I didn’t know about?” I’d go through an inventory of my possible sins that might be causing my suffering—“maybe if I get ‘right’ with God, He will make me better!” But no clear revelations there either.
Or I would for many nights go down the spiral of thoughts: “I can’t work; what am I going to do for the rest of my life? Will I be alone forever? Who would want to be with someone like me, always sick and miserable? Now that I can’t even be useful in society, will I even have friends?” There isn’t enough space to write out all the self-torturing thoughts that would only worsen my symptoms.
Then when I got too tired to say or think much, all I could breathe out was, “Lord, save me. Lord, help me.”
And to Jesus, that was enough.
During this period, His silence was (dare I say) maddening. The more I dug into Scripture to find the answers and solutions to my problems, the less I found. However, in my weakest moments, when I was vulnerable enough to finally say, “Just help me,” Jesus showed up with love and embrace so warm, deep and soothing. Although my body was still so inflamed as if it caught on fire, I sensed the most gentle and kind, yet grandiose and powerful Presence holding me and whispering, “I’m here. You’re mine.”
“What, Lord? Did you just say I’m yours? But I’m so pathetic!”
When I thought physical healing and getting back to “normal life” was what I needed the most, Jesus gave me what I really needed—to finally know that He saw me. And that I still matter even if, no, especially when I couldn’t produce anything, contribute anything, and looked and felt unworthy. Me? This holy and awesome God, who moves the earth and waters, would say this? Yes.
Perhaps, when He’s silent, He’s inviting us right into where He is. Quiet ourselves to His loving presence. Then we will remember who He is. He indeed hears us when we cry out to Him. His answers may come in ways we didn’t expect, but only He knows what we need most.
Written by Minnie Lee