I am uncomfortable writing about pride and humility, precisely because I have too much of one and not nearly enough of the other. I dare say I’m not alone, either. I did a little bit of cultural research when I started writing this, because I wanted to see how other people talk about humility.
First, I found a series of business articles in prominent journals about how humility is the secret to good leadership—including an article literally titled, “17 Reasons Humility Will Help You Get Ahead.” Later, I found an article about the power dynamics of choosing your seat in a business meeting, and research about the psychology behind your choice.
What Jesus says in Luke 14:7–14 is exactly the opposite: “But when you are invited, go and recline in the lowest place” (v.10). When He tells this parable, Jesus isn’t teaching a large crowd. He is eating a Sabbath meal in the house of Pharisees, the group that would be largely responsible for later placing Him on trial.
In this chapter, Jesus confronts the Pharisees three times. First, He heals a man on the Sabbath, an issue over which the Pharisees had previously confronted Him. Second, having observed the Pharisees carefully choosing their seats at the Sabbath meal, He tells a parable about being humble and always choosing the worst seat. Third, He tells another parable about a wedding feast where none of the invited guests come, so the host extends the invitation to the poor, the maimed, the lame, and the blind.
Throughout Luke, we see Jesus inaugurating the kingdom of God and proclaiming its values. He challenges the Pharisees, and He challenges our hearts. The parables He tells are for His immediate audience, but they are also for us, showing us the way life should work in His kingdom. And in the kingdom of God, humility isn’t a tactic to get ahead. It’s not a carefully-calculated decision about where to sit in a meeting, or at a party.
In his book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, Tim Keller writes:
Gospel-humility is not needing to think about myself. Not needing to connect things with myself. It is an end to thoughts such as, ‘I’m in this room with these people, does that make me look good? Do I want to be here?’ True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness. The blessed rest that only self-forgetfulness brings.
I’ll pray through those words today, asking for self-forgetfulness and gospel-humility, asking for the Spirit to convict me when I put people and things before Jesus, and praying, inspired by the words of Paul in Romans, “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud; instead, associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own estimation” (v.16).
Melanie Rainer is a bookworm from birth who makes her days writing, editing and reading in Nashville, where she also joyfully serves as the editor of Kids Read Truth. She has an M.A. in Theological Studies from Covenant Seminary, spends as much time as she can in the kitchen, and can’t wait until her two daughters are old enough to read Anne of Green Gables.
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49 thoughts on "Teachings on Humility"
Obedience is better than sacrifice!
I never thought before about how humility could be turned into a selfish concept by people but it makes sense and I can see how I have used it that way before. Definitely an eye opening devotional today.
This resonated so well with my soul!
Thank you!
Humility is definitely something I can work on. Jesus tells us directly we need to humble ourselves before the kingdom. We should not think of ourselves as better than anyone. We are all on equal playing grounds.
The quote from the book the author of this article pulled from was profound as well. Reminding us about what’s important. We need to take a step back sometimes and look at the bigger picture. I saw someone quote CS Lewis in the comments section and I couldn’t agree more with it. Sometimes I struggle with thinking less of myself—like I’m not good enough. My self-esteem issues have stemmed from a childhood where my mother constantly told me I could stand to lose a few more pounds when I was honestly starving myself or puking up what little I did eat. It wasn’t until years later that my mom realized the impact she made in my self image that she partially understood.
I just pray each day that God will guide me in the direction I have renewed to Him.
God wants all of our focus to be on Him and His kingdom, which seems like a lot to ask, but in hindsight is it? Think about about it, when dating we set expectations that our partners should focus on the building of the relationship neglecting all others. This is comparable to our relationship and walk with God. He expects us to neglect all others, follow him wholeheartedly, trusting Him every step of the way to change us from the inside out.
Let us continue to focus on our relationship with God knowing that He is leading us to an eternal life.
I am feeling convicted about spending too much time on social media after reading this devotion. It is the ultimate place where we are self-focused and view everything in reference to ourselves. It is all about self-promotion. I find myself getting offended and even depressed about other people’s posts and take things personally when I really shouldn’t. I could really use prayer for this.
Tim Keller’s book Blessed Self-Forgetfulness changed my life several years ago. It is very short, and an easy read, and I highly recommend it! He reflects the heart of God in that writing, and it has given me so much peace. I have it electronically on my iPad, and read through it from time to time because I NEED the reminder of the peace provided by self forgetfulness. Blessings to you today, sisters.
I’ve been struggling with forgetting who I am and have been denying how wonderful God says I am. I don’t want to live a wonderful life with God in the shadows of my own soul. This devotion has given me hope in myself. Even though death might be a painful truth, I want to die knowing the healing truth.
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Self-forgetfulness is something I struggle with like most and something I have not prayed for recently. This scripture and reading has spoken to me during a time I need it most. I will definitely be coming back to this one from time to time!
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Caitlin, I’m so glad you found this place of truth. God bless you and may it be used for good in your life.
It is very easy to ignore prideful feelings until the Bible convicts you in a passage such as this! I am constantly thinking of myself in relation to others, places, and things instead of thinking about how Jesus is related to my situation and praying for his works to be shown. I have so much pride, but I am thankful that God is patient with me as we walk on this journey towards humility!
Not thinking less of myself, but thinking of myself less – CS Lewis
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So much to be learned in Luke 14 that I don’t even know where to begin on what God is teaching me today regarding gospel-humility and self-forgetfulness. Praying the same prayer as I ask God to convict my heart if and when I put others above Jesus and myself above others.
I just want to say i was raised in church and I got out of it. I went through some things like panic attacks anxiety attacks etc. My anxiety attack was actually caused by something biblical I read so I got this site from a family member and I just started reading on Monday or Tuesday and so far almost every message has been about something that has been running through my mind and questions popping into my mind over this past week
This has been a hard week for me but I am amazed at the power of God and what he can do through simple things like this.
I’m so glad to hear it’s going well for you! Praying for you to understand how deeply you are loved by God and that you would be filled by the peace of God that comes when you seek His face. ❤️
Wow, self-forgetfulness. I’ve never thought about the concept, but I get it. That does seem so peaceful, to not constantly be worried about my image. Luke 14 is always so challenging for me because of the piece about hating your family members… I’ve never fully understood that
By reading these devotionals throughout the week and reading some of the funny stories Melanie has written I can tell she’s quite young. I remember reading something about the 1980s and her only been a little girl or maybe she was still a baby. I laughed because I graduated from high school in 1986. And then I thought to myself “WOW” I am learning so much from this young woman. May I never be too proud to learn from the younger. And yes there are times when I feel like I should be way ahead of the game. I should be this very mature woman and then I read today’s devotional. Yes “this half of century” woman can learn from a younger woman. I am blessed. Thank you Melanie. God is using you in a mighty way.
Good morning Churchmouse, I rarely write something but this morning your writing made me thing I am sitting in that same seat. Interesting that today I am trying to formulate my classification talk (about me) for a Rotary Club meeting and the topic of our reading is humility. I need to pray and ask Jesus how and what to say with humility. Prayersbeing asked! Thank you for all you share.
So good!! Self reflecting on our own humble spirit and accountability is vital!!! Jesus needs to always be the center.. not me! THANK YOU FOR YOUR WRITING
Such a strong and on-spot devotion today, along with everyone’s comments. Each day, may those around me see more of YOU and less of me Jesus.
melanie, i’m grateful for your insight today. i do remember ‘eyes to see’, ‘ears to hear’ and ‘hearts to believe’. to ask. to knock. altho it is a constant struggle, i want to believe i’m moving closer to Jesus each year He is gracious and willing to leave me earthside.
This devo was spot on with a matter in my heart that God needed to mend within me. While being in a tight knit Bible study, I was trying to coordinate a breakfast/ get together of some sort. It took a few comments from others to just put me on the brink of tears. I realized that through this reading and through all the comments, that I need to practice self-forgetfulness.
Sisters, please pray that the planning for this simple yet lovely breakfast this weekend honors our heavenly father.
That I am not to be seen through this, yet others get a time to connect and share their faith in a safe and open space.
Prayed for you just now Michelle .
Such a powerful lesson today. It seems that we all struggle with this issue of humility and I suppose that is because as we draw closer to Christ our sinfulness becomes more and more apparent. I too struggle so much with this. Why do I do what I do! May I suggest Sharon Hodde Millers book-Free of Me. It totally wrecked me. I recently went through the book with several ladies and it is so convicting yet freeing. Sharon has written for SRT several times and I think she has hit the nail on the head with this book. I will continued use to refer to it over and over. I also suggest Timothy Keller’s book The freedom of self forgetfulness which is quarters in this devotion. It’s a very short quick read.
What a powerful reminder! Such conviction and recognition of my struggle with the same. I love all the thoughts that each of you have posted here. I would like to suggest Sharon Hodde Millers book Free of Me. This book is all about this very subject. I went through it with several women recently and it totally wrecked me. Sharon has written e for SRT several times and I find her writing
Ugh. I didn’t think my comment posted so I posted again. Sorry for repeat
“True gospel-humility means I stop connecting every experience, every conversation, with myself. In fact, I stop thinking about myself. The freedom of self-forgetfulness”. Yes. I do so much thinking about myself and how people will perceive me. It’s not that I’m constantly seeking praise or attention, but I’m constantly analyzing what (I think) people think about me. I just need to follow God and do the right thing. His opinion is the only one that truly matters. If I pander for approval all my life and die a popular and respected person, my life is a waste if I have not lived for God.
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Thank you Angie for your post. Even though we all may never meet we have a common bond of faith. Thank you for all i learn from you sister
Self-forgetfulness ~ YES, that is my prayer. It seems there is far too much navel gazing in my life.
Thank you for this perspective concerning humility.
Today’s scriptures and reading will change how I pray and think!!!!
So thankful for your eloquent, God-given words Churchmouse.
Living humble is a constant struggle.
When God graciously removes the shackles of pride from my eyes,
I often allow them to enter in other ways.
When I go to a wedding reception, I secretly like it (and hope) I am at a table that gets to go to the food line early – yet, I feel bad for the people who haven’t gotten to go yet.
When I do something good for students…I share it, but on the down-low. Yet later, if it is being talked about in a positive light or praised, I feel this little niggle inside that says, “Why aren’t they giving me any credit for it?” Or worse, if the person I shared it with gets the credit, I feel frustrated.
The other side of the battle rages too…I don’t do/share something because I will be noticed. This doesn’t honor God either. Every gift, talent, or ability is from Him ALONE.
As a young couple, we were touring the new home of a friend, (30 years ago it was a $500,000.00 home). When we left, my husband said to me, “I’m sorry I won’t ever be able to get a home like that for you.” I determined right then, that I never wanted a house that would make anyone else feel bad about what they have. I want to offer people a place that is clean, warm, and welcoming, without the pretense. Then why do I work so hard to have everything just right if I know someone is coming? Why do I worry when someone stops in and there are things laying out and around…everywhere? Why do I even care?
It is a battle of wanting to “be something,” yet recognizing my value comes from Christ.
I post pretty early because that is how it works in my day. When able, I read back through people’s posts and pray about needs or praises ladies share. When I see that someone has responded to my post, I have to be careful to lay the glory and praise immediately at the feet of Jesus so that it doesn’t become prideful. My sharing purpose must be to serve and honor Him alone, only-to be used in His service however He determines. Community is a gift God has given us but, not at the cost of closet time.
The deeper I get into the Word, the closer I am to Christ.
As He is first, I am comfortable last.
It is difficult to “swell as me” if I am “dwelling in Him.”
My constant prayer is, Lord – allow me serve, to share Your love and Light, but that people do not see me, only You.
I recognize this post is all-over-the-place. That is what the battle is like. We all live it in this world.
But soon and very soon, we will see the King and in His presence there will be fullness of joy.
So while I don’t like being a warrior, I thank God for the battle to become more like Him.
Only in Your strength, power, and name, Jesus.
Wonderfully stated. Thank you for sharing!
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Your sharing touched my heart. Thank you!
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R
Have we met before? I feel like you’re an old and trusted friend, seated across from me at the local Cafe, looking kindly yet firmly in my eyes and saying “we need to talk. About pride. And humility. Because it’s an issue with you that Jesus wants you to deal with.” I would be the one in the booth blinking back tears of conviction yet treasuring the honesty of the words of a friend. I am guilty. Not every conversation needs my opinion, my relatable experience retold, my advice given. Most often, conversations need to find me listening more and talking less, when I’m with friends and when I’m alone with Jesus. Not everything is about me (unless I’m two years old which I assure you I am not and even then we’re to get over it). Pride has been brought to light and it’s not pretty, no matter how small or inconsequential or unintentional the evidence might seem to be. Time to hit my knees in repentance. Thank you, friend Melanie, for the truth you share this day and thank you Jesus that you spoke through her to me.
Well said! Not every conversation needs my opinion! Great reminder to use our two ears and keep our one mouth shut.
I like to connect through stories and often find the compulsion to share my own story or anecdote, even if it would be best to simply listen. My prayer is the same as yours – may I listen more to my friends, family and colleagues and know that sometimes that is all that is needed.
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So so good!! ❤️❤️☺️
Well said …. ❤️
Well said!
This is so me. I pray that I keep his conviction close.
Amen!