Join us for Day 34 of Soul Detox and then join us for discussion and community in the comments below!
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24 thoughts on "Day 34"
Day 34
Leave a Reply
24 thoughts on "Day 34"
Hey! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers?
My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few months of hard work due to no backup.
Do you have any methods to protect against hackers?
My spouse and I absolutely love your blog
and find a lot of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for.
Do you offer guest writers to write content available for you?
I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on most of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome weblog!
I believe we worry more about what people think rather than what God thinks. We know the relationships are toxic yet it's easier to just conform than to take a stand. I'm just as guilty as anyone else. We've got to get stronger in our faith with God and realize that he will put the right people in our lives. Remember the saying, "Birds of a feather flock together?"
Personally, I hold on to some of those 'toxic' relationships because I like a little drama in my life. There is a monologue in "He's just not that into You" about our love of drama. ie.) Paying that bill late, etc.
It's sick and i have been been a little bit of a drama queen my whole life. I pray for that gossipy, snippy part of me to be taken away. To acknowledge the good things in my life and build people up – not hope for a little drama to take them down.
I have love, love, loved this devotional and reading all of your comments. This came to me at the perfect time in my life. I want to comment more on the next session. Hugs and Kisses.
Ashley
Cynthia,
WAY off topic, but how do you change or put up your profile picture?? I have one on my YouVersion acct but it doesn’t show up here? Just wondering! :)
Hi ladies. I didn't get much sleep tonight so my thoughts are not together, so this will be short. I do think that sometimes, we have these relationships because it's comfortable. We are used to being controlled by others, by being treated in this fashion, to the toxic stuff. We know it's wrong but it's comfortable. it takes courage and faith to step out and change our world. Just some thoughts.
Thank you Sue!!
It just seems extreme sometimes!?
Your comments make sense to me! :)
Great questions EllenMR….I too struggle with separation for a lot of the same reasons.
I have come to believe that to be separate in this instance is to mean separate from joining in doing things that we know are wrong and sinful! For we are not suppose to judge others. We are to be the light that leads others to Christ. If we have nothing to do with unbelievers then how can we be the example that Christ wants us to be? Anyone care to share their thoughts on my way of thinking?
i agree with you to some extent. sometimes separating ourselves means to separate ourselves from the action. but sometimes, it does mean to separate ourselves from the person themselves. not spiritually, because we are called to love and pray for ALL our brothers and sisters, no matter what. but physically, yes, it is sometimes necessary to not be with someone anymore.
i had a friend, who was also a roommate at one time. we stayed friends after we stopped living together, but i started to realize that i didn’t like who i was when i was with her. and then as i stopped joining in with her on the things that made me not like who i was, i started to realize that she was just as toxic to my life even when i wasn’t joining in. so i made the conscious choice to separate her from my life altogether. because the thoughts i was having, the effect it had on who i was, and on my friendships was taking too much of a toll by sticking around. by no means do i hold ill will towards her, and i continue to pray that she works through her demons for herself. but i can’t walk side by side with her as she does it.
i think this is what paul did by saying he could not walk with john mark. he did not hate him, nor judge him, but could not walk in truth next to him and still be true to himself and the message he was bringing. i hope this makes sense…just more thoughts to consider. :)
Great example Erin and I love your analogy to Paul and John Mark! I have never seen it that way….Thanks.
I think for once I don’t need to comment, but just absorb everything all you ladies have said so eloquently yet again! Many lessons to be learned,
lots to reflect on…
EmilyC- Thanx for putting the “why’s” and the remedies so simply stated! It helps.
I’ve “weeded” so much already, but clearly have a lot more to do! I knew I would have to. But it doesn’t make it any easier, and the confusion I feel
about being “seperate” from unbelievers… again
HOW? Not everyone can work in a Christian environment. How do you bring someone to faith if you are to remain apart? We may have married BEFORE coming to faith- do we just walk out? What about adult children who may not believe?
Sorry Girls- just questions of an I’ll informed sister!
Blessings to all of you today! :)
and just wanted to share the new blog post that I added for today based on this reading!
http://ladybug1016.wordpress.com/2013/02/23/getti…
Paul and Barnabas disagreed about taking John Mark with them. Paul felt that John Mark could be detrimental to their mission and Barnabas did not. Paul felt so strongly about this he ended his long-term relationship with Barnabas. I'm sure it wasn't easy for Paul to make this decision. It is interesting to note that for Barnabas, his decision to include John Mark was probably because of his familial relationship with John Mark (they were cousins) and not because he felt that the work would truly benefit from having him along. Even though this relationship ended, it is also important to note that Paul later commends both Barnabas and John Mark for their work in the ministry. He held no ill feelings towards either of them. But he felt so strongly about this relationship that he decided it would be best for it to end. And in the end, God used this particular break-up to further his ministry by allowing more work to be done with more people!
In II Corinthians, we are warned not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. We are not to enter into binding relationships (work partnerships, marriage, long-term friendship) with them. God reminds us here that there can be no fellowship between light and darkness. This does not mean that we are not to befriend an unbeliever at all. God wants us to befriend them in order to lead them to Him. How can they be led out of darkness if someone doesn't show them the way?!
Deuteronomy talks about the Israelites driving out the idolatrous nations from the Promised Land. God knew that His people would be tempted by the idolatry that these evil nations practiced and wanted to keep them from this temptation. He felt so strongly about this that He commanded that everything about these idolatrous people be destroyed. He wanted there to be no trace of them. His one main commandment throughout His word is that He is to be the only God His people worshiped. And yet time and again, God's people fell into disobeying Him in this way. God reminded the people in Deuteronomy that His people are holy and chosen to be his treasured possession.
God's Word makes it very clear what we are to do with toxic relationships in our own lives! Drive them out, get rid of them, cease from fellowship with them. We do live in a sinful world and just as the Israelites were, we are too easily swayed by these toxic relationships and the idols that these people worship. We have more toxic relationships in our lives because we, like the Israelites, do not put God first! We have become too comfortable with them in our lives or we think we are being disloyal by ending a long-term relationship. But God says GET RID OF THEM!
Hubby had a guy that he had been friends with throughout college and most of his adult life. When we started dating, he introduced me to this couple as well and thus began our relationship with the two of them. However, this guy was so controlling that he began making remarks about how our marriage should be and how we should be living. My husband felt a certain loyalty to this guy for helping him make it through college and it took awhile for him to see how damaging this relationship was. He had said things to me though that deeply hurt me so that I wouldn't be around him. But he made hubby feel so guilty for not making an effort to get together or call him. We moved out of state and the only contact we had with them was when hubby would call him. Then he would make excuses for why he hadn't called and make hubby feel guilty again. Recently hubby made a trip back home and in good faith called this friend to see if he would want to get together. This guy immediately started berating hubby for not calling him sooner. Hubby realized then that this relationship would have to go. He saw that this was not a true friendship but a detriment to him. It's sad that he lost a long-term relationship but he realized that nothing good was coming from this! This relationship was toxic and had to be eliminated. It would have been so nice for us to have a friendship with another couple our age, but not one that would be detrimental to us!
There have been several toxic relationships in my life that I realized just had to go! God wants us to be a light for Him, but He also wants us to remember that we are to be a holy, chosen vessel for Him and we cannot have fellowship with darkness. He chose us to be a treasure and just as you wouldn't keep a diamond in an old box of rocks, we are to be set apart for Him!
You know, I have been so consumed with the fact that my husband can be antisocial sometimes, a loner, an introvet, so I think it's my duty to fnid us couples to hang out with. but seeing this makes me realize, having couples to hang out with or him having friends isn't as important as that they be the *right* friends. thanks for this.
We live in a broken, sinful world. And in our world, like in the time of Noah, many people's hearts have grown cold and have been corrupted by the world's systems and doctrines. There are so many false "gods" and "idols" in the world around us and even some of our close believing friends unknowingly sway and subscribe to ungodly teachings and "feel-good" philosophies.
So WHY do we tend to have more toxic relationships rather than healthy ones? Because people have disconnected themselves from God and followed after other things. And often, like Cynthia and chikchik92 already touched on, some may follow our own deceitful passions/emotions/ambitions. I have to constantly keep myself in check with that one.
The world is so racked full of sin and so busy justifying it to make the guilt go away (Me included here sisters)…and we sometimes forget…or don't don't how…to take it to a loving Father who forgives and offers freedom from sin. Only then, can a relationship begin to become vibrant and healthy. And, I believe that this starts with us.
Why do you think we tend to have more toxic relationships in our lives instead of healthy ones?
I think I have more toxic relationships for several reasons:
1) History – I've known them for a long time. I think things like "I can't just cut them off now, we've been through so much."
2) Comfortable – Their toxicity, while terrible, is almost comfortable! I know to expect it, or have desensitized myself to it. "Oh, that's just how she is."
3) Change – a) Changing is hard and scary and b) I think too often that I can change someone.
Nothing and no person should be hindering our relationship with Christ or keeping His commands, no matter the history, no matter the discomfort and no matter the difficulty. Christ is worth seeking through thick and thin, and we may have to cut off people to do it.
Hi Marie … and WELCOME! Soul Detox is a devotional in which the She Reads Truth group is doing. We are just finishing up the five-week devotional. Stick around … Another NEW devotional will follow THIS one.
Help I'm new is the plan She reads truth or Soul detox….trying to make sure I'm in the right place. Thanks.
@Lauren, so true! Kind of like, "If you can't say something nice…" So many toxic relationships drain the very life from us and we don't even realize the damage they are doing at the time to us and the people that we love. Then there are others that you are "stuck" in and cannot get away from, I.e., workplace or family relationships, and you must try to figure out a way to "live" through them. I was "caught" in one such horrible toxic relationship and it taught me more than anything ever has in my life!
This woman was so controlling and so intimidating, yet so terribly insecure it was very sad. She suffocated those around her but demanded loyalty and outright "worship", There were so many times I thought I just could not take it any more but I was literally stuck. How did I survive? Oh The Lord taught me so many things! Some I didn't learn admittedly until years later, some I learned right away…but I had to RUN to Him daily or that toxic spirit was going to overwhelm me and consume me too. But greater is He that is in ME!
When we were finally transferred, I was able to see her in a different light….she didn't change but I did. And now when I am confronted with people of that nature I am better equipped to handle them. God is able to help us THROUGH those toxic relationships that we can't get away from. Didn't mean to get off the subject but maybe someone needed it today.
Blessings on this Last Saturday of February!
Thank you for sharing, I needed this today!
I wondered why Jon Mark left Paul. I wondered why Barnabus wanted Jon Mark so much that He would leave Paul.
Paul did not worry if he was rejected if the reason was that he was committed to Jesus. He just kept going. And God blessed with not one but two new relationships. And as fara as we know, they stayed with him for life.
I remember when I was afraid to leave my group of friends b/c of my committment to Jesus. God has also blessed me with not one but two friends with the same committment. It has been 28 years and we are still together in heart and purpose.
Why do you think we tend to have more toxic relationships in our lives instead of healthy ones?
In short, because we “follow our hearts”. From the time we are children watching fairy tales we are taught to follow our hearts and when we grow up, although we may not always use thise exact words (though sometimes we do), we still tend to believe it. But the Bible makes it clear in Jeremiah (I believe) that our hearts are wicked and deceitful. Instead we need to be careful to maintain relationships that we know are right (and end those we know aren’t) even when our heart rebels against the idea.
Today's devotion reminds me of a saying I saw not too long ago that goes something like "You are put on this earth to help others, and if you can't help others, at least done hurt them" People have toxic relationships but what is really saddening is realizing that you are the one that is toxic in a relationship. sometimes you have to step back and look to see if you are being selfish and hurtful. I know that I can only strive to be a good aspect of a relationship if I have the help of God who gives me patience and positive thoughts. Sometimes it is nice to just say a prayer asking for patience so that you can get through the day.
Why do you think we tend to have more toxic relationships in our lives instead of healthy ones?
The Bible encourages us to take everything to God in prayer. We are to constantly keep a line of communication open in our relationship with God through Christ Jesus. It is evident that we do not do this (pray) especially in our relationships.
We allow our emotions and sometimes more importantly our flesh to make decisions for us. This is why we have a lot of toxic relationships instead of healthy ones.
“Oh what peace we often forfeit, oh what needless pain we bear; all because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer.” – from the hymn What a Friend We Have in Jesus.