Join us for Day 33 of Soul Detox and then join us for discussion and community in the comments below!
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22 thoughts on "Day 33"
Day 33
Leave a Reply
22 thoughts on "Day 33"
Maria, I love this analogy! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Ibukun! :)
I’m hoping you found your answers! So glad to hear from you Honey, thanks for your encouragement! Blessings to you!
It’s a saturday morning here so I have absolutely no excuse to not come on here to fellowship with you guys! ^_^
In what types of circumstances do you feel it would be necessary to end a toxic relationship?
I think it would be necessary to end a toxic relationship when you constantly find yourself falling flat in sin when you are with such a person or when you find that you are constantly put down by this person.the last toxic relationship I had to end was just in January. I found that around this guy I was constantly bombarded with thoughts of fornication and no matter how much I swore to God that I wouldn’t have sex with this guy again, everytime he came close my resolve melted like butter.
I didn’t feel good about coming to God. I felt dirty, used, insecure, depressed. I just knew in my spirit that it was time to pull the plug. No second thoughts, no second guessing. I needed to flee from sin, find a safe house (Jesus) and have MY lack of self control sorted with God before attempting to preach to this guy because, it was obvious I wasn’t making any difference in his life. On the contrary, I kept falling into sin
I resonate with what has been said here on earlier posts. I was encouraged by the verses about God still being with Joseph and blessing him in the midst of being sold as a slave by his own brothers and being wrongfully punished for a crime he did not commit. It seems like although Joseph kept feeling like he had hit rock-bottom, he made the most of his situation.
As for the question about toxic relationships, I struggle with knowing when a job is toxic. Some of the places I have worked have left me very much doubting my confidence and abilities, while others raise me up. It's hard for me to know when to endure and when to move on.
As for relationships outside of work, I have witnessed in my own life God ending one for me that was highly toxic. He had the strength to do what at the time I felt I could not. I am thankful for that. This question has given me pause to think about the relationships in my life right now.
I like the point that God ended Joseph's relationship with this woman. It seems that if we keep doing right and resisting the evil people want us to do when we "stuck" in a relationship with them (he was after all still a slave) either they decide they don't want anything to do with us or God takes us out of the relationship.
Under what circumstances should we end a toxic relationship? Like Allison said, when you know God doesn't want you in that relationship. I find that especially when it comes to my husband's friends I can't end the relationship but I can stop encouraging it and I can choose to live right and holy and that alone (since most of them want nothing to do with God) ensures that we spend less time together.
Well, for one, I wouldn't classify this as a toxic relationship. This Mrs. Potiphar-Cougar perhaps had a toxic association with young Joseph; but he went out of his way to avoid being around her. It was when she cornered & grabbed him that he fled leaving his jacket in her grasping immoral fingers.
And what a disappointment ~ instead of God rewarding Joseph for his impeccable wholesomeness; He allows him to be thrown into jail — for years! Ah! But in the end, Joseph saves the entire known world from starvation. What a hero!
"Mrs. Potiphar-Cougar" – that made me laugh out loud!
What types of circumstances do you feel it would be necessary to end a toxic relationship?
Unfortunately for me, it took realizing that the toxic relationship was so detrimental to my kids. Although the toxic behavior wasn’t directed at them, as they were getting older I seemed to kind of snap out of it and realize it wasn’t healthy at all for any of us! I had that old school mentality that you stuck it out, regardless what the situation was.
I figured that it was their father and he FINALLY sobered up a couple years ago. Changes can happen, right? Wrong! And it just became more glaringly apparent that I could never win- I was handling everything myself anyways and sobriety wasn’t helping his relationship with the kids as I thought it would. Time to call it a day.
Now I’m most definitely dealing with the repercussions of not ending it sooner. Not only does my son have Asberger’s, he has huge issues with his Dad that compounds the problem. And I have boatloads of guilt about the whole thing! Looking back I see:
Allison is absolutely right! Don’t sit around and wait when you have the tools and the knowledge-
God gave me nudges in the right direction that I talked myself out of… But I’m here now. ;)
Caitlin, I agree! Pray for them yes, but don’t forfeit your well being either…. perfect!!
Cynthia, you’ve wrapped it up beautifully. (AGAIN !) This is what we need to go by- Thanks!
Praying you feel better JuneBug!
Praying all SRT Sisters have a Blessed Day!
God knows exactly what He’s doing with you, Ellen. He knows where you are right now with your husband and kids. He knew it while he was forming you in your mother’s womb and trust me, He left NOTHING to chance. Rest in the assurance that His plans for you are good (Jer 29:11) have a wonderful day, sweet sister
If a relationship becomes destructive to us physically or spiritually, it is time to end it. Life is too short to hang on to something that is killing us inside and out, albeit subtle and slow or more overt and aggressive.
That's all I got for today sisters. I'm feeling like I'm coming down with a bit of a bug and could use some prayers to get through this day on top of it all. Love and blessings!
Will be praying for you this morning, June(bug) lol
Blessings, sweet!
In what types of circumstances do you feel it would be necessary to end a toxic relationship?
Just like Paul outlines in 1 Corinthians, when you follow the protocol of confronting someone and they are still unrepentant. Paul himself mentions in 1 Timothy that he left two of their comrades in the hands of Satan so they would "learn not to blaspheme."
As mentioned by others, when they continue to tempt you and make you stumble.
Under what circumstances should you end a toxic relationship? When God has told you (i.e. given you all the tools/knowledge to know this is not right) to end the relationship and before you get hurt. I am the poster child for this one. I was in a very toxic relationship with a guy growing up and just knew this was not the person God intended for me, nor was it good. There was control, negativity, sin, etc. yet I kept ignoring all of the signs and nudges to get out of it. The worst part is that through it all I kept praying for God to tell me/show me if this wasn't right but ignored His answer…always fearful it wasn't Him or it was just my mind. Since I wasn't willing to end this toxic relationship, it ended up really hurting me and others involved in the end. I ended up completely hurt, betrayed, shocked, disappointed, and the loss of a best friend and emotional scars that have stayed with me throughout the years. I look back now and see so clearly how toxic the relationship was and how much God was pushing me to be the one to end it. I had the tools and knowledge…God had given them to me, yet I failed to use them. So, I ended up the most hurt in the end. Although it hurt then, and sometimes still hurts now, it is such a great reminder that we have the tools to end toxic relationships but we need to use them! Don't sit around and wait…or it won't end on terms you'd like it to! Happy Friday Sisters!
“But the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave him favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison.” (Genesis 39:21 ESV) LOVE this verse! Amidst all the trial & tribulations God is right there loving him.
I like how you pointed out, Kjshepp, that God ended the relationship for him. That’s positive–a good thing. I had never seen it that way. I always thought, “Oh how unfair & cruel! What a way to be rewarded for doing the right thing!” UGH! Maybe I’m more negative than I thought, I was!
Thanking all you ladies for your insightful reflections. It helps SO much to be reading The Word together! Have a blessed day, sisters!
I wish we lived in a world where everybody at least tried to be fair. I use to think that every body was good at heart but as I get older I am learning there truly is people out there solely out for thier own gain and it doesn't matter who they hurt to get it. There really is unexplainable evil. While we should always try to mirror the love, joy and forgiveness of Christ there really are people who only want to infect us with thier sin. In the bible it says "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." (Proverbs 4:23 NIV). Sometimes walking away is the only way and we shouldn't feel guilty for it either. Pray for them yes but don't forfeit your well-being for them either.
I think it's interesting here that with Joseph, the relationship with Potifer's wife is definitely toxic. However, he doesn’t choose to end it (probably the only way to end it would be to leave his job), instead he stands against her, not giving in to her offers of sin. AND telling her the why: he is following God. He does this "day after day" vs.10. Then God ends it for him. It was ugly and messy. “but the Lord was with Joseph and showed him steadfast love and gave favor in the sight of the keeper of the prison” vs. 21.
In what types of circumstances do you feel it would be necessary to end a toxic relationship?
When someone is leading you into sin: pressing you to have sex (outside of marriage)
Like in Joseph’s case you either have to be strong enough to stand firm and NOT sin. From my own experience, it’s risky and very difficult-and when you fail the consequences are brutal and lifelong.
Or end the relationship so that you are not faced with it.
Depending on the circumstances it could mean giving up the guy you love. In Joseph’s situation possibly giving up a very valued job. Or loosing a close friend (if he told Potifer about his wife). Both choices can be equally difficult.
I totally agree
In what types of circumstances do you feel it would be necessary to end a toxic relationship?
Relationships with people who constantly tempt you are dangerous. If two individuals are not edifying one another they should not be in relationship with each other.
Relationships were one or both individuals are controlling is also not good. Being controlled keeps one from being whom God has called us to be; controlled persons can never really be themselves.
Relationships involving negative people usually ends up with the persons in them only focusing on things that are wrong. Negative people have a difficult time accentuating the positive. Constructive criticism is what is needed in relationships not being critical.
Relationships are necessary in life and are developed to provide us with healthy companionship. When this is not the case and situations become unhealthy, the continuation of the relationship should be evaluated. It is probably not best that it continues.
Well said, Cynthia.
I couldn't have said this better. this was the kind of thing I was gonig to say. in fact, I think you probably said this more eloquently than I would have.
I think this is well put. I struggle with negative people though. I mean, I know that they are toxic and we should be praying for their mind and their soul, but isn't it like turning your back on someone who needs you? And, I don't mean a romantic relationship, I mean ANY relationship. I have a very good friend who is like this and I never know what is the right thing to do.
My pastor provided an interesting comment about this recently…an analogy. He said think about it like this. He stood on the altar and leaned over, reaching out his hand as if to pull someone up from the floor level (2steps down). Imagine how much effort pulling someone up might be. Then he stepped down and reached his hand up to pull someone down. So much easier to pull someone down than to pull someone up. I thought that was the perfect picture of how much easier it is to be affected by a negative or toxic or unhealthy relationship to affect us than to try to change that relationship to a positive one. Too much time with that toxic relationship person will change us much more easily.