Join us for Day 32 of Soul Detox and then join us for discussion and community in the comments below!
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18 thoughts on "Day 32"
Day 32
Leave a Reply
18 thoughts on "Day 32"
In our passage today Peter was focused on the things of this world while Jesus had His sight set on an eternal outcome. He told Peter he was a stumbling block because of it. Romans 14:13 says, "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way."
For myself, I find I can become judgmental against those I feel to be toxic in my life. And when I tell them so, I myself have become a greater toxin.
Father, keep my focus on the things of heaven today & help me not to be so crippled by concerns here on earth.
What types of healthy boundaries do I need to establish, and how will I set those boundaries?
Well…obviously I’ve had some issues in this area!
I’m very much a people pleaser. I’m also one who can be “guilted” into doing things because of the controllers and negative people in my life. Which does bring about resentment and more of the negative feelings that I’m trying so hard to get rid of!! I’ve had the tendency to open up to new people rather quickly after being isolated for so long. I’m finding, yet again, that people aren’t what they seem. I think also because I am open and try to be positive I’ve attracted some very needy folks- I’m having a hard enough time keeping my own head above water! I can’t take on being someone else’s everything…like my friend who expects me to be. She’s an extremely emotional person, who needs that constant reassurance. I have distanced myself a little and have shared with her my new found faith, which she’s NOT enthusiastic about at all. So I guess it’s time to “woman up” and put down boundaries that will either be respected or set us on different paths. Sometimes that’s just the way it has to be…I don’t like confrontations…ugh!
All about getting healthy and moving forward, right?
As I said yesterday, the one positive comment lately from my son was about liking the church we went to. I also said it was a miracle, and it really is! He’s
been saying how he wishes he was dead because he’s so miserable, and that he’s not sure there even IS a God anymore, which just breaks my heart!! He used to, and I think he still does deep down, so I’ve been praying for God to reveal himself to him (which was one of you wonderful ladies suggestion!) because I worry about his soul obviously! Which brings me to this:
“And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but loose your own soul?” v.26 NLT
These devo’s have given me specific scriptures I can reference to when we’re having these deep discussions. I hope and pray I can guide him and help him- he needs it so much!! Lord, he needs you so much! Please use me to reach him, help me say the right things. Thank you Jesus. For your glory! Amen
Have a Blessed Day Sisters!
I don't really struggle with boundaries in my relationships. I guard my time very carefully, and don't enter into close relationships easily. This can be its own struggle, as I work to let others in to my life. I also have to constantly remind myself that my time is not my own but His.
Verses 24-25 really made it clear to me that this is something I need to pray over and work on: If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Me will find it.
I pray that I not be so focused on maintaining my own schedule and plans (trying to save my life/time), but be ready to sacrifice my time and give my affection freely for His kingdom.
Awesome!
Very well put Michelle! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :)
I feel like I am perpetually in a state of flux when it comes to working on my relationship boundaries. My automatic nature is to let the gates swing wide open and let the whole world in. It's one of the many "quirks" of being a grown woman with ADHD. But I am learning that this is not always healthy for more than one reason.
I have had my fair share of boundary "fails." For example, I have learned that strangers do not want know my WHOLE life's story the first time they meet me. (Especially when standing in line at the grocery store. {shaking head} Oh no. This is not good.) Thank God for good friends that have given me some gentle guidance when my boundaries were WAY off.
But perhaps closer to home for many of us, is the sharing of too much information about someone or a circumstance that happens at a church, prayer meeting or bible study…for the "sake of prayer." How often, this information can border on gossip and be handled poorly in the wrong, spiritually immature hands. We must remember to be discerning sometimes and protect our brothers and sisters in love.
As far as setting up good personal boundaries in relationships, I am learning that God did not intend that we let EVERYONE into our lives unconditionally with arms and hearts open. He wants His people to be set apart for Him. Our Great Shepherd knows how easily we, His sheep, can be influenced by one another and swayed toward the areas we are the weakest. The whole Bible is chalked- full of examples of God's people falling away due the influence of cultural and spiritual toxins.
Nowadays friends, I am much more selective about who I let into my life. And even so, I do it in smaller (more manageable) increments, testing the waters as I go. In some cases, I have had to hold some relationships a little further away. Others I've had to say goodbye to when they were harmful to my relationship with God and not good for me. Again, it's a matter of trust…that the Father has His best in mind for me.
I'm so glad this is talked about. So often I come across other believers that tell me I should forgive and forget, and just keep being friends with people. I disagree! If they are toxic and bring nothing but bad things in my life, why should I not a) confront them about it or b) distance myself to be healthier?
What types of healthy boundaries do you need establish in your relationships?
I've re-formatted a lot of my friendships recently based on this. I don't spend a lot of my time with the "sappers" (people who only take, take, take and need, need, need), I have cut off relationships withe people who are sinning, and won't change after confrontation, and have intentionally spent more time with people who are life-giving. It's refreshing to have healthy relationship boundaries for once!
How will you go about setting those boundaries? With honesty and intentionality! I had to make some hard confrontations with a few people, but I feel better when I'm honest. I've also gone about it with intentionality. I've slowly learned that people want friends but not a lot of people are willing to put forth effort or reciprocate. It's not that they don't want to, they just don't. So, I just initiate a lot of get-togethers. People are always glad when you reach out to them and spend time with them. I don't get caught up in feeling bad that no one reciprocates these days, but focus on the good times had and life that was shared.
I think the hardest thing for me to do is not think sentimentally about life. I am an emotional girl. Sometimes making decision for emotional reasons is not good. Everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial.
Thank you all for your insights. I too struggle with people pleasing, so hard to surrender that to the Lord! I know He wants my freedom and joy. A wise friend told me that my yes would not be free unless I could freely say no. I pray we can all be free in our yes’s today!
That's a great way of explaining it! Thanks for sharing! I often say that when I give something, I want to offer it as a gift. Not as an obligation. That way, I can always be a cheerful giver!
I need to get better at this. If people try to get me into a discussion about someone or something else that is sinful, I need to tell them that I don't wish to be a part of that kind of thing. but I still struggle with people-pleasing so I just keep my mouth shut. lord, help me to get better at this.
Praying we will all speak the TRUTH in LOVE! Appreciate you all so my sisters!
Establishing boundaries! Oh, how I have a hard time saying "no" as well! Again, stems from my people-pleasing tendencies, my fear of rejection! Oh please Lord, help me die to that! I've gotten better over the years but it's still my tendency to to say "yes" to any requests made of me. But, guess what? That ultimately leads to resentment and negative feelings. Ugh! So I am praying for help in this area continually. I pray you all have a very blessed day, sisters!
I guess what has helped me in dealing with the relationships in my life is praying that the Father would help me be salt and help me be light in this fallen world filled with fallen folks – like me.
I guess I try to deal with people the way Jesus did in this case. When someone says something toxic, speak the truth. Don’t just think it but acctually say it out loud, to that person if possible. I don’t always succeed but I have been trying I think and I think that it helps to guard my heart against toxic thoughts when I speak the truth aloud.
What types of healthy boundaries do you need established in your relationships? How will you go about setting those boundaries?
But Jesus turned away from Peter and said to him, Get behind Me, Satan! You are in My way [an offense and a hindrance and a snare to Me]; for you are minding what partakes not of the nature and quality of God, but of men. (Matthew 16:23 AMP)
I realized a little later in life that I have boundary issues. I sometime have a hard time saying “no”. I received a lot of help a few years ago by participating in a “boundaries” group.
I have gotten a lot better but it is a constant struggle especially when presented with temptations. I noticed in yesterday’s devotional many thought the word “tempter” was “temper”. This let’s me know how deceptive this spirit can be in our lives.
Verse 23 states it plainly: if it is not of the nature and quality of God, it is an offense, hindrance, and snare. God has such good plans for our lives; we must allow Him to teach us how they are to be guarded. We must deny self (flesh) and nurture our spirit man with the things of God.
Father, I pray that each of us keep our focus on Christ and set up healthy boundaries that will eliminate and keep out toxins from our lives. This include all things and individuals that try to be negative, controlling, and tempting. Open our eyes to the truth that can only come from and through You. In Jesus name, Amen.
those are good words, Cynthia. It's a good reminder of how important it is to let the Holy Spirit dictate our interpretations of what we read, words that are spoken to us, and situations that could lead us to sin. Boundaries are so hard- especially in the south where sometimes people translate "no" to "I don't like you." This was a timely devotion for me and thank you for sharing your experience.
I, too, struggle with boundaries. I agree. Very timely.