Join us for Day 30 of Soul Detox and then join us for discussion and community in the comments below!
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26 thoughts on "Day 30"
Day 30
Leave a Reply
26 thoughts on "Day 30"
I believe the worst or most toxic relationship I have is with myself. I have a lot of issues with my anger. Because of that, I get upset easily and can upset others. I need to calm down and I ask God to give me strength and patience. Apart from anger, I feel that I often get lazy too. When a prayer has been answered, I tend to thank The Lord then go back to my old ways until I need a prayer again. I should always converse with The Lord, not just when I need something. I feel this passage relates to yesterday’s as well. I am left feeling better, and will continue to stand strong and think positively.
In what ways have toxic relationships polluted your life and your relationship with God?
For me it has been a two-way street. I find that if I am not focused in God and His Word, I can be the one who is toxic! It is an everyday spiritual battle.
There is so much to pull us away from our relationship with the Father. I find that if I am not vigilant, I am not where I need to be and become detrimental to others. I firmly believe that I am my brother’s (sister’s) keeper.
When I am worshipped up, worded up and prayed up, it is hard for toxins to seep into my being. It does definitely pollute my life (relationship with God and man) when the right things are not in place.
How have toxic relationships polluted your life and your relationship with God?
What strikes me with the cold hard truth is how
(again looking back) I went from searching for God diligently to turning away from Him shortly after He provided me with my own miracle and salvation….to continue in my ways and PURSUE that toxic relationship, knowing it was dead wrong!
What in the world was the matter with me???
God literally saved my mother’s life, I FINALLY believed in the grace of His salvation, just to throw it away!!
All for a guy and the same old toxic friendships pursuing the same old toxic pursuits. My supposed “BFF” held the same beliefs, but didn’t think it necessary to change friends, habits, etc. but I KNEW IN MY HEART that if I was to be truly saved I would have to walk away. From all my friends, trends, habits, the music and
the music scene here in Minneapolis (which was crazy at the time!) that i loved and how could I possibly walk away from Mr Right (Mr WRONG) ??? In my obviously warped way of looking at it, it would be EASIER to walk away from a new life in Christ than to walk away from all these toxic relationships….
So in answering today’s question, I literally can’t count the ways toxic relationships have affected my life. They obliterated my just found, fragile relationship with God and lots of heartache could have been prevented if only I’d been strong enough to walk away from my friends and my “new love”…
These verses jumped out at me today:
“In spite of all that, God’s people have a solid foundation. These words are engraved on it: ‘ The Lord knows those who belong to Him,’ and ‘whoever worships the Lord must give up doing wrong.’ ” v.19 GWT
“….pursue what has God’s approval….with those who worship the Lord with a pure heart.” v22 GWT
Which I get to do here, with you Ladies!! You all are a continuous blessing to me. Thank you!
Lord, help me to stay focused on You! No sliding backwards into old ways. No toxic thoughts, people, places or things, please! Forward- I just want to keep moving forward in your love and your word. Thank you Jesus! For all the work you’ve done in me and continue to do. In Your name I pray, Amen :)
Have a Blessed Day Sisters!!
This is something I need reminding of everyday. Not to jump into debates and quarrels with people the moment the opportunity arises. Yet to take a step back and look at the person with gentleness and love, and most importantly to pray for them in that moment and pray for the words to say to that person.
How loving is our God that He wants to keep us away from all that drama and fighting. Yet wants us to have a life of peace and to spread that to others. Moments that would trigger quarreling or unwholesome talk are also moments to be a daughter of the King and spread His love and peace to that person. Tame the tongue! God truly knows what is best for us.
AmyKelly- you continue to bless me with your testimony and about the nature of true forgiveness! That is one of the many things on my “to do list”, forgiving my brother for past hurts that have resulted in our not speaking for more than 12 yrs!! I’m so glad that the Lord has given you truly like-minded people to share with! The past IS the past, praying for your continued healing Sister!
LindaG- sounds like we learned some things the hard way! But with our Lord, the best is yet to come!! ;)
The verse I need to apply today to my oft toxic heart is 2 Timothy 2:24 — "And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful."
Sometimes in my quest to be "fight" I come across as quarrelsome. Father, teach me to be kind to everyone (even the people who are WRONG…) :D
Sorry, I pushed publish by accident. I am learning to respond with love, not judgement.
My prayer is to follow the teachings of Jesus. Please Lord, allow me not to get sucked in and polluted by the negativity in this world. Teach me to humble myself before you and allow your spirit to flow thru me. Amen
Wow! This one really hit the mark in me.
“In what ways have toxic relationships polluted your life and your relationship with God?”
My oldest daughter can be very negative, and loves to discourse on the problems with the other side of her family. I am seeing how this just sucks me in – it pollutes me (such a strong word). Because she is hurt, I become hurt with her, and very judgemental. These are obviously not attributes of God, and its hard to shake off the negativity and the judgement.
I cannot abandon my daughter, but I can not allowthis negative behavior. God must be given the full control of all this, and I am learning
" God's servant must not be argumentative, but a gentle listener and a teacher who keeps cool, working firmly but patiently with those who refuse to obey." Today this rings so true with me! I'm getting for every angle at work. Customers, accounts, you name it. Accounts I've cancelled since September saying I haven't. Products coming in damaged that companies don't want to warranty. Customers argumentive, impatient and snarky. It's all I can do to not sit down in cry. This verse is a good reminder.
Customer service is very hard to work in, sometimes it feels like you can never make anyone happy. It takes a lot of patience, hope and prayer. Always remember your identity in Christ, not how others try to define you. :)
Today's reading leads me to this question: Do I want to be "right?" Or do I want to be in a right relationship? With God.? With others? Again, so timely.
My heart is still burdened over the person on facebook who misinterpreted scripture in her post to defend what she does for a living. Friends, she is a spiritual medium who consults with the dead to "comfort" those who have lost a loved one. This is real and scripture strictly forbids this sort of divination. For some reason, God doesn't want us to be involved in it. We must trust and obey. I don't mean to be a "Debbie Downer" folks, but Jesus came to save such as these. Such as you as I. Remember, he delivered Mary Magdalene and countless others that later followed him.
I know that my fb message has rattled this person a bit from her status posts that have followed since (even though I sent it privately…and with a gentle, loving tone and with the attitude of a student of the bible, not of one who wants to shove in down her throat).
Jesus, please lead her to the truth! She is already so used to the supernatural, so even if by supernatural means, somehow reach her! For Your glory and for Your great name's sake. Amen.
"And a servant of the Master should not quarrel but be gentle towards all, able to teach, patient when wronged, in meekness instructing those who are in opposition, lest somehow Elohim gives them repentance unto a thorough knowledge of the truth, and they come to their senses, out of the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his desire."(v.24-26) (ISR98)
I try to read the scripture for the day in NIV and then go back and reread it in The Message. (After one of the Ladies pointed The Message out here in the comments a few weeks back.) Today in doing so I was hit with the words from verses 20-21 "In a well-furnished kitchen there are not only crystal goblets and silver platters, but waste cans and compost buckets – some containers used to serve fine meals, others to take out the garbage. Become the kind of container God can use to present any and every kind of gift to his guests for their blessing. (MSG)
In the first reading I understood what it was saying but, Become the kind of container God can use…" really clicked for me with the second reading. It's nice to get the 2 different (or more) perspectives on the reading to help discern the words at hand. I forget who I first saw write about The Message version but I want to thank you. It's given me just one more way to understand his words! Have a lovely day ladies!
As I read today’s verses, I am reminded of last years struggles and pain that were the cause of a toxic relationship. For most of my life I have kept myself guarded and pushed anyone anyway who would get too close and wonder why I was still alone. Last year I feel in love and it was great for a while then things changed. I was so wrapped up in him and my fleshly desires that I avoided the Bible, avoided talking about this person to my Christian friends because I knew what I was doing was wrong.
He started to pull away and I would see little things that didn’t add up and I knew he wasn’t telling me the truth but put in the back of my mind. “He wouldn’t do that to me, I’m different,” I would tell myself. Until I found out he was seeing me and sleeping with someone else. My whole world seemed to collapse in front of me.
I hit rock bottom and The Lord pulled me out. I often think of this man who shattered my heart and miss him but then God gently reminds me that I need to “enjoy the campanionship of those who call on The Lord with pure hearts” v22 That toxic relationship stole my joy but Jesus restored it! I want to “pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace”. I want a love that honors God!
This soul detox just keeps talking more and more to me! First, cultural toxins needed to be ridden out of my life (going on 2 weeks of no Facebook or Twitter people..this is big!) and now…toxic relationships. This is something that I struggle with and make excuses for all of the time. The majority of the people I surround myself with are either non-believers or believers but not openly and not ones that welcome a discussion about God. What does this say about me? I am getting better at not engaging in godless chatter and when something comes up I try and leave the room or not engage in the gossip, but I am also in school to be a lawyer and "loving to debate…quarrel over words" is engrained in me right now. I definitely need to take a step back and reevaluate who I am spending my time with and really cut out the needless quarrels and debates over things that really don't matter in the big scheme of things.
What another wake-up call, ladies! I hope you all have a blessed day and thanks so much for the support =)
It really hit me about avoiding godless chatter and instead, pursuing righteousness, faith, love, and peace. I tend to get into the gossip mill at work sometimes because I want to be liked and approved of by the higher-ups, and one of my immediate supervisors loves to gossip about others. That can be polluting. Also, I have had relationships in the past, even with some people who say they are Christians, but they want too much from me and have crises every day, etc. there are also some I know of who are falling for some false teachings, and I have to be careful. also, "Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must run away from wickedness." oh Lord, help me to do this!
I’ve shared about my ill-advised second marriage which is ending. I really thought this relationship was healthy but it so isn’t. Amazing how we can delude ourselves.
Big red flag: unhealthy boundaries. Another: loving to “debate” aka argue. I allowed myself to be captured by youthful lusts (my fault) and we had sex outside of marriage. This of course made me highly vulnerable even though i was praying Lord guard my heart. Then he slowly came in and started dominating my life until I felt smothered. What it looked like was that he was taking care of me in a good way. But it became controlling and manipulating. My inner discomfort became a sense of being trapped in a nightmare.
Finally i found a gentle Christian counselor who helped me see what was really going on andcwhy i was in such pain. At the end I felt so far away from The Lord it was like there was a brick wall. It wasn’t until I repented with tears and shame that true grace could break through. My foolishness and sin has hurt many people. If only I would have been able to see the subtle but deep toxicity of this relationship early on.
These verses challenged me by reminding me that most of my "toxic" relationships are with my un-saved friends. Not toxic in a horrible way at all, but toxic to the point that those relationships are where the Godless chatter happens. What a challenge for me and encouragement for me to stand firm in my faith, especially with those who don't yet know the Lord.
Lord, let me be a light and example to those around me.
How difficult it seems at times to be in the world and not of the world– to not be immersed In toxicity and yet cultivate friendships with non believers.
In what ways have toxic relationships polluted your life and your relationship with God?
I have shared with all of you the sin that I have struggled to overcome over the last year. Because of my sin, I lost three of my best friends. One led me to temptation. One forgave me, but cannot bear to be around me. And one surprised me the most by leaving me in my darkest hour. That particular friend grew up in a household that recognized Jesus, but never made a full commitment to His Love. As an adult, she visited churches for her kids, but never made a commitment to His community. She has always had an opinion on right and wrong which lined up with the scriptures, but she has no real knowledge of His Word.
After everything happened, I think she truly tried to stand by me… But she could not fathom the forgiveness I was experiencing from my husband. I think she really thought I was not suffering enough. In less than a week's time, she was picking fights with me, distancing herself from me, and making sure I was suffering as she thought I should. When we finally had the chance to air our grievances, she said she couldn't trust me any more and that she had always, through the 12 years we had been best friends, wondered if she could really trust me. It took all the wind out of my sails and the discussion was over. How could I respond to that? God even sent someone in to interrupt so I wouldn't respond and possibly say something that did not line up with what He was doing in my life.
We still work together. I have to pass by her everyday. I have forgiven her, she obviously hasn't experienced the Grace and Peace that passes all understanding. And although we are cordial, she has stopped acknowledging me… She only responds to my greetings and closes her door. I've wondered if God would give me the opportunity to speak with her again, to have my chance to respond. I am in a different place now. I have a knowledge of scripture that, although still very small, can shed light to those in darkness about the redemptive healing of our Savior… But I don't know if her heart is ready.
It's funny that I never considered her friendship all those years as toxic. But as a confidant, a mentor, a role model… God definitely showed me that she does not share His views, His teachings. It was a very hard lesson for me to learn, one I'm still reeling from. But God has replaced her with a team of coworkers that are seeking His word and His will. We pray together and we openly discuss issues we face with His will in mind. I thank Him daily that he closed the door to one and opened the window to these two!!
Amy, I'm so thankful that God has brought healthy relationships into your life to replace the loss of those you once held dear. If I can offer any comfort regarding your one particular friend – consider that the Lord has counted you worthy of the challenge of loving and forgiving her. It's easy to love those who love us, but to love the ones who sit in judgment over us? That is hard! (see Luke 6:32) Keep praying for wisdom and grace as you interact with her and that God would patiently open her eyes as He has done with you.
These are the trials that, in God's hands, make us more Christlike. I can personally attest that the Lord has used (and continues to use) the most challenging people in my life to polish off my "rough edges"! (Hmmm … I wonder how many people have been refined by my own challenging behavior?!!) :)
May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it. 1 Thess. 5:23-24
Blessings to you, my sister. Praying for you.
Thank you, Cathy! Thank you! Thank you! :)
2 Timothy:23 NIV
Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.
Was the verse I was first attracted to as I know I get drawn into this and am often guilty of needing to say what I think even if its not helpful. So today for me is about making sure I am not that toxin for others and avoiding foolish arguments!
as I reflect on yesterday and today's verses (and commentary), i am asking God to show me the "toxic" relationships I have. I really can not think of a physical person. but I immediately thought about the TV shows I watch and felt like these passages definitely describe that: "bad company ruins good morals", "wake up from your drunken stupor and do not go on sinning", "flee from youthful passions. . . pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace"
although i am not interacting one on one personally with these people/characters, I think they still can have a toxic influence. something to think about.
Your insight really prompts me to examine the relationships I allow into my life via television, movies, music… I have often thought these influence behavior, mine, but had not considered them "relationships"….WOW! What a realization. Toxic for sure.