Living in community is a beautiful thing. On the best days, it might feel like a good dinner party as laughter rings out and each person brings a dish for the table only they know how to make. Other days, it’s a disaster. Broken dishes and broken trust. Everyone trying to talk over each other. You throw up your hands and claim you’ll never host another party again—and even if you do, you’re definitely not inviting those eight people.
In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ” (Ephesians 4:32). It’s much easier to fly off the handle or uninvite people from our lives, yet we are called to a “new self” (v.24), one that reflects God’s righteousness and His love for even the most unruly dinner guest. We have to remember how He shows us endless patience in our unruly behavior.
On this journey of living in Christian community, God invites us into rhythms of deepening our relationships and, if possible, restoring them when they get broken. This is because we are “members of one another” (v.25). Isn’t that a crazy thought? God has created us as individuals, yet interdependent as His body. When we harm each other, we grieve Him. He wants us to forgive just as He forgave us (Colossians 3:13).
This spring, a friend and I took a road trip from Tennessee to California, and somewhere around the plains of Wyoming, we found ourselves talking about what it means to truly forgive. Both of us have recent experiences trying to forgive a person or a group of people, and we had to ask the honest questions: Can you still feel anger and sadness after forgiving someone? Do you forgive only once, or is it an ongoing practice?
In my experience, choosing to forgive doesn’t mean I won’t continue to feel sadness or anger for a while. To be honest, it steals past me when I least expect us. Fortunately, Scripture doesn’t guarantee a timeline for moving through the pain. Forgiveness may be a one-time act, but like anything involving our hearts, it will also be an ongoing process.
The truth is, sometimes God does ask us to step away from unhealthy relationships. It’s natural to mourn this loss, especially if a person or collective group once played a key role in our life. However, we can still practice kindness in the way we move forward, and we are still called to forgive them in our hearts as God has forgiven us. For now, on this side of heaven, they may no longer sit at our physical table, but if we are both pursuing God, we are a part of the same spiritual family. May Christ’s peace be present in our hearts as we seek to obey Him and love those around us (v.15).
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47 thoughts on "Living in Community"
wow. wow. wow. < this spoke to my ♡ today! forgiveness is such a hard thing to do when the world tells us to drop anyone who wronged us < Lord , help me to forgive those who have hurt me && share your ♡ with them!
Forgiving those who have wronged you are the hardest to let go, but always for the best, and for clarity of mind❤️
Amen. It’s so hard to do this, especially in a world where forgiving people is counter-culture. But the grace of God can cover so much. And if He chooses to forgive, who am I to say that forgiving is unnecessary?
❤️
Thank you Tina. Thank you for sharing your hurts and your healings. God is so good. Bless you my sister.
ERB, thanks for highlighting Tina’s words. I, too, plan to meditate on them as I struggle to let go of a pain I don’t understand but for which I have been blamed—one which cost me a very dear friendship.
Thank you ladies for sharing your stories of forgiveness. They are full of hurts and pain but so beautiful in how God brought many of these stories to forgiveness. I am learning so much from them too. Thank you for those who prayed for my appointment at Mayo this week. There were some positives that came from it and hopefully more in the future. The medical staff were kind and I felt heard. I didn’t realize how important that was to my mental health.
” With all lowliness and meekness with long suffering, forbearing one another in love.”
Living in community is a great thing. American culture focuses too much on a Christ less community… but here, in She Reads Truth , we have our own community that’s main focus is Jesus. So many people in a community help us to carry our burdens.. help us to talks out our problems… and most importantly… as in this community… help us to bring our eyes back to Jesus. Community is one of the best gifts God gave us!
I hope all of you had a great thanksgiving!! I love you all dear sisters! God bless all of you!
♥️
Thank you, #SRT, now I have my 2022 new years resolution: encouragement.
I resolve to be more intentional about giving heartfelt, honest, encouragement whenever I can. I pray the Lord will bring me more opportunities to do so and whether I catch them or not, I know this obedience will bring me closer to Him.
I can identify with the last paragraph Bailey wrote as far as my relationship with my ex-husband. We are able to be together at short amount of times — like Thanksgiving — but can’t be married any longer because of our differences.
Sisters have a great weekend and be blessed and forgive someone today.
I am so touched reading the testimonies you share. I feel like this is truly a test from God when He allows such deep pains to happen to us, and us being vulnerable and disoriented in such moments, leaning on Him, learning to be like Him, whispering as we bleed “Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing”. I believe when Jesus said those words, He already forgave them in his heart. I so agree with so many wise ladies saying that the way to pain closure is prayers for those who hurt you, pray for those who persecute you (this is not easy, but God always raises the bar for His children, through us He enables/strenthens us to do the most difficult things). We really don’t have a choice over what they do (normal reaction of offence is to cut off relationships without any explanation, no contact, silent treatment, shock effect, or even slandering/gossiping behind our backs for years and years). An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city (scary!). But us, on the side of the unknown, we have to be Christ like, we bless them, bless and do not curse(we don’t speak negatively). We bear the pain/ wrongs for the sake of righteousness. And God, with His mercy, for us, for them, will restore. I have seen Him restore, though it took years in my case (family offence, church offence), but at the end it changes the other person so much. Because we (the victim) shine bright the light of Christ, and we win them back in some form or another. Glory to our Lord who is acquainted with our sufferings and grieves, who walks with us through these moments.
“The truth is, sometimes God does ask us to step away from unhealthy relationships. It’s natural to mourn this loss, especially if a person or collective group once played a key role in our life. However, we can still practice kindness in the way we move forward, and we are still called to forgive them in our hearts as God has forgiven us. For now, on this side of heaven, they may no longer sit at our physical table, but if we are both pursuing God, we are a part of the same spiritual family. May Christ’s peace be present in our hearts as we seek to obey Him and love those around us (v.15).”
I am curious…how do we continue to practice kindness as we move forward?
What does that look like?
When someone is angry at you but will not explain why, will not allow you to meet together or even talk on the phone to talk it through (and they live too far away to accidentally see each other), and they say it is just going to take time and it will be at their pace…and it has been years, and you love them dearly and do not know what you’ve done to cause such a division, do you just keep loving, praying, …sending the same gifts at the holidays and birthdays? Do you text more often, send emails more, give them space? When we send emails and texts he says, “Why would he allow us to see him when we don’t follow the rules when we are apart?” He doesn’t answer the phone to our calls. When we don’t communicate for months and then ask if we could meet to talk, he says he is not ready. We’ve offered to make the 18 hour drive even if it only means we get an hour to talk or eat a meal together and nothing more. What kindness are we leaving out?
We have laid it before the Lord, and pray continually. While we do not meet physically it is my prayer that someday we will share the same Heaven, worshiping before the Father. It is the greatest comfort in this situation. It is what is most important. It is eternal.
But daily I wonder how to proceed. What is the next step of healing and kindness. Thank you Karen Yingling for the question, “What would it take for us to have a relationship again?” I’m going to cover it in prayer and then give it a try.
Knowing our God is omnipresent – such a blessing, so much mercy.
Ok…please pray I get forgiveness today from my husband. I really messed up. Just a few moments ago, Um, I pulled out of my garage quickly, but the hatch lid was up….Yep, it hit the garage door and shattered my back window completely, while wiping out that wiper….Oh BOY! I will tell my hubs he needs to be forgiving!!! That God commands it! lol (which HE does!) Love to you all! Have a good wkd!
Oops. Messed up on the first line. It says: O master grant that I may “never” seek. I just wanted to share that this lyric touched my heart and I had to look it up. 
Thank you all for sharing your testimony here. So powerful
The song which is a prayer by Saint Francis has been in my mind. I had to look it up. Though I’m not Catholic anymore I remember this beautiful prayer which was made into a beautiful song. I remember singing it in both Spanish and English. The main lyrics: “O Master grant that I may seek, so much to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand. To be loved as to love with all my soul”
Forgiving someone doesn’t permit them to continue that action. A friend, or so I thought, tried to ruin my ministry. Through the process I learned (and realized) it’s not MY ministry….it’s Gods ministry and he’s entrusting me to lead it WITH him! I am blessed. My friendship with this person ended abruptly simply because she won’t return my attempt of talking with her. But God has grown this ministry tenfold and I continue to look to only Him to guide me.
Tina I love your forgiveness story!
Churchmouse, I so relate to what you are going through with your older sister. I have a similar relationship with my younger sister. We are slowly rebuilding too, and I am thankful for it. Many hurts in the past, but God showed me the importance of forgiveness…not only for her, but for myself.
I’ve had to walk out forgivenesss a lot over the years. At one point, a friend broke my heart. After experiencing that pain, I vowed to never let anyone get that close to me again. But God…He had other plans. He used that experience to teach me the importance of forgiveness. At one point, while I was grieving over what had been done to me, God showed me an image from Jesus’s view on the cross. I could see the soldiers, the pharassies, all mocking and denying him. I heard Jesus say the words- “Forgive them, for they know not what they do.” He turned to me and urged me to do the same to my offender.
I never forgot that image…seeing the crucificition scene from Jesus’s view and yet Jesus still forgave them. If Jesus can…I knew that not only could I do it…I had to do it. It’s not easy believe me; but the process does take time. Today, that person and I are actually friends again; something I could have never imagined. Forgiveness is a process, but it is possible through Christ.
@Karen Such a great opening question. Thank you for that.
Thank you PHOEBE (btw I love your name) for the clarification on today’s passages. I was up early. @TINA, since I was up early (too early ) I came to the comments because I was feeling discouraged, and I read what you said. Please know that it was exactly what I needed to hear. Please pray for my relationship with my mother whom I love very much and she loves Jesus as well. But sometimes misunderstandings and conflicts and just life get in the way. As hard as it is, I’m needing to speak truth to her.
Axed w E
Thanks to each of you for sharing. Forgiveness is a forever ongoing gift from God.
This devotional really touched me deeply. A girl that I know almost wrecked my marriage, and we are still moving forward from her action. I am happy to say that I am still happily married to the love of my life, and we are so blessed to be together! However, the hurt that the girl caused sometime still resurface like a wound. I know I need to forgive her and move on, but the pain I feel makes me wondering if I truly forgives her action. I wonder if I truly did what God wants me to do. It is reassuring to read that even after forgiveness the pain might still be there. The pain is there not because I didn’t forgive her, but it might just take some process to heal.
Tina, everyone really, your comments helped cement a struggle for me to forgive because I certainly could not forget. I will ask God to help me forgive and work through the pain and grief of discovering 2 ministers that through theology to the wind. I still struggle with it but I am certainly going to pray hard to try to forgive.
Wow, Rhonda, your story is inspiring. I am in the middle of my own story of forgiveness…..my husband had a relationship with another woman last year. The devastation he put our family through was traumatic and heartbreaking. I left. I bought my dream house out in the country. He started coming around again, apologizing. We have spent more time together and I am working on forgiving him to reconcile. But the events that took place keep arising in my mind and I struggle most days. I’m so sad and possibly depressed. Forgiveness is hard but maybe over time I will succeed. Is forgiveness something u just decide upon? Or is it something u have to work at each day to achieve??
Thank you to everyone for sharing.Tina, my circumstances aren’t exactly the same, but as I’ve posted before, we buried our baby. Then, years later, my husband also had an affair. I was told or heard someone say something like you should start praying for those that hurt you or that there are problems with. I remember hearing that this can change how you feel about them. Sisters, definitely try this. This can lead to you having compassion, empathy, and seeing them in a different way.
I was watching a YouTube episode where the director of The Chosen was explaining that they take a lot of time in certain scenes to develop the characters. In this scene, before the Sermon on the Mount, the disciples were getting tired and irritable. Emotions were flowing, and there was a new woman follower that was near and was talking to Thomas. She questioned why they were acting like that towards each other. He said that they love each other and explained. She smiled and said that it didn’t seem like love. The director was talking about the song based on Scripture that says they will know who we follow by our love for one another.(I’m paraphrasing.) So I am thinking even the apostles had issues, but we are called to walk in love and walk worthy of our calling. Even more reason to keep reading His Word and leaning God to help and guide us!
May God please put a watch on my mouth and help me to do what is pleasing to Him. Amen.
I really recommend watching The Chosen! You can watch for free by getting the app or watch episodes on YouTube. Hope you al have a great day!
GM! A heavy subject, forgiveness. I know we all have a story to share on that, how it has hurt us, shaped us, and hopefully healed us, with only a But God kinda intervening. I would like to share mine because I hope it might help someone that is or will go through it.
I had just begun a second marriage full of joy and happiness, thinking I would never get divorced again. The first marriage I had decided “wasn’t for me” and I ended it abruptly after only 3 years, crushing my husband that I had made those vowels to. We had no children, so it was an easy break for me, as a matter of fact, I cheated on him numerous times to please myself since I felt I wasn’t getting enough from him!! I was young and very selfish. So with my second marriage, we had our first child. Only a year and a half into it, with a new house and new relationships with his family and friends (I had moved 6 hours away to his town), he shocked me by saying he was not in love with me and wanted to separate. Oh, the hurt the shock, the helplessness. What brought this out as I had an urge to look at his phone and discovered some phone calls and texts that he might have been having a fling or relationship. I was so broken, but it shed light on the fact that I had done that EXACT SAME THING to someone previously. Wow. But still, now it was me. I would go to work, and just break down and cry. I will never forget the day I hit my knees because, for the first time in my life, I couldn’t control my life! I couldn’t “make” it all ok. I felt like a loser, a failure. I needed my savior. He had always been my God, growing up in church, but I never had called out to Him in that way before. How was I to move forward, when you just want to..not?
Only with forgiveness and with God holding my hand every step of the way to heal me. A wise friend told me, that he was my child’s father, and I needed to make every effort to co-parent with him for the well-being of my child. Well, I made that happen. After he moved out I had boundaries, but I made every effort to never show anger towards him around our child. That is such a very hard thing to do!! Those who have experienced betrayal know the struggle to forgive betrayal and the ending of your future dreams. I journaled, went to a new church and small group (this was a crucial part to help me lean into God), and prayed without ceasing. I prayed for healing and forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn’t take away the hurt overnight, especially when you still have to see that person on a regular basis, sharing your only child
and raising him together. But God, I still allowed my ex over, and we sat together at my son’s activities, and since he was so young, it made sense to “santa” Christmas morning together. And from that time onward, we still raised our son as a unit. After a few years, that girlfriend of his came to my house for santa time as well, and my – now husband -joined the next year. What a testimony for others to see the four of us all sitting together at school and sporting events, and special occasions!! It was a deliberate and intentional action, that only through God was achieved.
I share this hoping that my testimony can help someone else. The pain is real, but forgiveness with God, will ease it and remove it and grow and shape YOU! Turn to HIM in those vulnerable times!
Thank you Tina for sharing your inspiring story of forgiveness. The transformation in you that came from doing the work is a beautiful testimony. So grateful you shared it with our community! Wishing everyone a blessed day with plenty of leftovers!!
Thank you Tina for sharing your inspiring story of forgiveness. The transformation in you that came from doing the work is a beautiful testimony. So grateful you shared it with our community!
What a living test
imony of hope, healing and forgiveness you are!
Forgiveness is hard, but with God’s help it’s possible. I’m loving through a season now that is hard but I know God is in control and I am depending on Him to see me through it.
Lord help me to forgive as You have forgiven me. In the name of Jesus, Amen
I have a suggestion for approaching someone who is estranged from you. Ask them, “what would it take for us to have a relationship again?”
In my case, it was my brother. He said, “never talk to me about mom and dad ever again.” I relied, “I can do that”.
I kept my promise, we began relating to each other again, and one day, he started asking me questions about mom and dad. I gave him simple and factual answers to his questions, and one day, he began speaking to them again. It wasn’t a “Hallmark movie” ending – its still hard, but I am grateful to God for the peace He has brought.
Sisters, I’m praying this might be a tool you could use to bring you peace as well.
Thank you so much, Churchmouse. I have been going through an almost identical situation with my own sister. She was saved and baptized in high school, but somehow fell away in college. She became estranged from our family. Recently, some unknown personal changes happened in her life and she started a weight loss journey as well. She has been so much more present in our family for the past 6 months or so. I suggested to her and my mom that we do the Advent study together this year, and they both agreed!! What miracles. Please pray for us!
Dear Churchmouse…. Thank you for sharing. Recently my 19 year old son has decided I want to break up his girlfriend and him. He has moved in with her family and her. He has cut off all communication from me. I am heart broken but I forgive him-AND HER—daily. Sometimes several times a day. I pray continually. I just want my family back together. I need prayer for the Lord to work and for me to be patient while He does so.
My sister and I have been estranged for many years. She carries alot of familial hurt. She can be very abrasive. She maintained contact with my older brother and his family but none of the other of the 6 siblings. Even longer ago I witnessed her responding to an altar call at a Christian concert. Fast forward. After further hurt and her own poor choices, she decided she is an atheist. Sigh. I reached out to her through the years, rarely getting a response. I sent holiday and birthday cards. Not acknowledged. Longer story short, I heard through my other sister that Mary was having success on a new diet. I texted her, asking her how it was going and to tell me about her weight loss journey. That opened a door. Who would have thought?? BUT GOD. That open door led to invitations to get together. Our love of books gave us more common ground. For the past 8 months we have not only texted back and forth but we have met for lunch 3 times. Our first meeting lasted 3 hours! A lot of our family history was revisited. Conversation is cautious but continuing. Such a blessing after all these years of praying! We are talking a bit about faith and I’m confident we will talk more, and listen better. I’ve run the gamut of emotions over her. I was hurt, angry, apologetic and nearly wrote her off at one point (forgive me, Lord}. BUT GOD. Fortunately, long before that first luncheon, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my unforgiveness and of my harboring ill will towards her. I was able to truly forgive her. And now… We’re having afternoon tea together. The conversation continues. A sisterly bond is being reforged. I tell you all this to encourage you to keep on praying for whoever you are estranged from. Maintain safe boundaries of course but never quit praying. God will do a work in your heart and perhaps in their’s as well.
Wow TINA! I have teary eyes after reading your real life story. Pain and hurt are real. Thanks for reminding us of how amazing God is through working peace into your heart through such awful loss.
TINA – thank you ❤
“Forgiveness may be a one-time act, but like anything involving our hearts, it will also be an ongoing process.” Just as Tina testified, you will know the process is complete when there is peace in your heart about the person or situation (which varies depending on the offense).
May I speak “only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.”
I want this to be my filter. Even if what I have to say is for correction, are my words showing grace to the one who hears them? If not, do not speak until there is a way to say it that does. It may mean I do not speak as often but I doubt that I’ll have any regrets.
My siblings have had some rocky seasons.
Forgiveness.
To offer someone grace undeserved.
Our family has had some people make poor decisions, ones that were sins that many do not recover from.
BUT GOD
In the midst of the grief over brothers’ relationship broken over a woman, one’s wife, I wept and I forgave.
In the midst of my other brother’s choice to cheat. And cheat again. I wept and I forgave.
Because GOD HAD BETTER PLANS.
If I had held onto bitterness and my own righteousness anger, I could have missed the awesome redemption God had in store.
Brothers reclaimed, reunited, restored.
GOD DID WHAT HE DOES.
Thank you God for keeping me from getting in the way. And for witnessing two miracles.
TINA, I hope you don’t mind.. but I copied what you wrote in my quote book.
“I realized I was wasting my time and energy on someone else’s choice!”
SOOO good!!
Love your heart and how God has taken you on this amazing journey of true forgiveness!! It is a blessing and an encouragement as well as an exhortation!! Thank you for sharing dear sister!! ❤️
CAROL RIMMER thanks SO much for posting the HRT scriptures!! Looking forward to reading them!!
I would definitely encourage all you beautiful sisters to read ALL of Ephesians 4 as well as Ephesians 5:1-21 a lot in there that is very relevant to what we’ve been reading and learning about!!
In the study book Ephesians 4:1-16 and Hebrews 3:13 are listed as supplemental passages to look up. Colossians 3:1-17, Ephesians 4:17-32, Proverbs 11:17, and Zechariah 8:16-17 are the passages printed. Enjoy the last reading day, fellow Shes!
I read both sets of verses and I agree, CAROL RIMMER.
TINA – love you and your testimony, Sister. I did not realize how closely intertwined timewise these two pieces of your story are. I am so encouraged by your forgiveness. Totally different situation with me but will be thinking about your total forgiveness as I take an elderly relative to a function this weekend where I will be around people I haven’t seen in about 15 years. These are people that I thought were long time friends of a sort (although not close) that, out of the blue, said some of the most insulting things that I have ever had said to me. To say I was stunned would be an understatement. My retreat from those people started a sequence of events that the Lord blessed/guided but this will be the first time our paths have crossed again. I’m feeling a bit gun shy (words DO hurt despite the old sticks and stones saying).
Thankful for yesterday and that Thanksgiving is past. The empty chairs that were mentioned earlier this week … we had 3 at our gathering and there are no words for our sadness.
Praying for each of your mentioned needs and that we will all be a light for Christ as we move into the season for celebrating His birth.
Also, I don’t know if we have the right Bible readings for today’s devotional?
HeReadsTruth has verses that seem to line up more with today’s SRT devotional:
Colossians 3:1-17, Ephesians 4:17-32, Proverbs 11:17, Zechariah 8:16-17
❤️
@Tina
I did not realise what your story was, but what a journey it seems you’ve had.
That’s incredible, Tina – God has given you the ability to forgive!
When we are in relationship with other people, that’s when we really get to live out our faith, and put God’s word into practice. May God strengthen us by the power of the Holy Spirit to forgive those who have wronged us/who we have felt wronged by. May we all know the peace of Christ, in our hearts and minds, and in our relationships with others.
Happy Friday everyone, and stay close to Jesus today!
When we lost my daughter, I was in no fit state to take care of my needs let alone anyone else’s. My husband found solace in another and I guess a year later walked out of our family home to a new life, leaving our sons and myself devastated.
FORGIVENESS…
That is a BIG ASK, after such a painful time of loss x two. The first through illness, the second choice.., that choice not only broke my heart, but my childrens, to the point that, for a few years our younger son, refused to use his father’s surname!
I’ve always known my ex to be a good and kind man, so I found my source of hurt was not necessarily at him, but the woman who offered him the ‘comfort’ he needed in our time of grieving!
I once, in my anger of the situation, imagined putting posters of her all over her town, much like you would a lost dog poster, only, this would read HOME WRECKER with her picture! Probably not one of my finest hour, but just to say, I didn’t see it through! Thank you God!
BUT GOD..
Oh, BUT GOD..
So much to process in those days, the loss of my two best friends, in such opposite ways, yet, God, in His loving kindness, walked me through in the form of my brother who would often still be on the phone at 2/3 am, reading bible verses to and over me, praying with me, and telling me God, was closer than he, my brother was! Thank you God for the memories of those awful days because they sure do show me how far I have indeed come, by your grace.. Thank you!
BUT GOD..
Healing from those days, still ongoing and it is a choice to forgive, and I did and have chosen to forgive, I pray for them as a couple, and I pray for them individually, often.
Holding on to the hurt of my husband walking away, was so very unhealthy, I was dying each day, I was questioning each day, I was angry each day… these things were taking from my grieving my precious daughter. I realised also that, to me, losing my girl was the worst possible thing next anything else, that I was wasting my time and energy on someone else’s choice!
God is the healer of hearts, hurts, brokenness, disagreements. He can and He will, in His time, mend whatever the situation, open our eyes to see His hand in, on and around the journey.. He sure was close and continues to be, and for that, I am and will be forever grateful..
Thank you God..!
I KNOW I have forgiven her, because I can say her name and my heart knows peace. She can be talked about and I listen without thinking she stole my life, or like the old song goes..”..it should have been me..”
Letting go and letting God means that I know peace because the forgiveness is not superficial or surface stuff but from the heart, and that my dear sisters is a whole heap of God given peace that I would rather any day!
God is good, so very good!
AMEN.
Happy Friday my Dears, wrapped in blessings! So very thankful for you all.❤