Adultery

Open Your Bible

Proverbs 5:1-23

The book of Proverbs is a guide for pursuing godly wisdom in our daily lives. In this four-week study, we will read a selection of topical proverbs covering different aspects of wisdom, from how to interact with our friends, families, and neighbors, to fearing God and keeping His commands. No matter the subject, these proverbs urge us to wrestle with and reflect on our own response to them. To help you better engage with the proverbs in this reading plan, we have provided you with a short introduction and reflection questions for each day.

In Exodus 20, God commands us not to commit adultery. But Proverbs adds a layer of complexity to that law by discussing the path that can lead to this particular sin. Often, the act of adultery is a product of walking a long and dangerous road of seduction. This seduction can come through another human being or the unchecked longings and unaddressed pain in our hearts. Keep both of these meanings in mind when reading these proverbs about adultery. 

Reflection Questions:

Why do you suppose this passage is told as a story, instead of a list of reasons why adultery is wrong? 

Describe the temptations you’re facing in this season of your life. 

What does “Keep your way far from her” mean in Proverbs 5:8? Practically, what are some ways you can do this as it relates to the specific temptation you are facing? 

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43 thoughts on "Adultery"

  1. Donna Jamar says:

    Temptation will always be there and will never go away. Look to the Lord for guidance

  2. Heather Robinson says:

    This hit me hard by way of being tempted to fear man and consider opinions of man above the opinions of God

  3. Lakia Gabre says:

    Laura, thank you so much for sharing your testimony! I pray that God continues to bless your marriage tremendously!

  4. Laura Smail says:

    In terms of a practical way to “keep far from sin,” I think this means a willingness for us to give up habits or routines that are convenient for us. In the case of the son in this passage, perhaps he passed by a certain house every day on the way to temple. For him to not be tempted, he would need to alter his route by potentially taking a longer or more difficult way in order to be safe and far from the temptation. What does this look like for us today? Lately, I have found myself breaking the command in Ephesians 4:26 to not let the sun go down on my anger and not give the devil a foothold. The reason I am often angry is because of what I see om social media. It has become abundantly clear that God is asking me to permanently shut down my Instagram account. By removing the source of my provocation, I will be taking away the foothold that Satan currently has in my life. The best and only way to deal with sin is to remove the root source, which inevitably requires some kind of sacrifice on your part. But the end result of a life in step with God far outweighs anything you are asked to give up.

  5. Brittany Reimers says:

    I have many temptations in my life that I am constantly fighting. Finding light in the lord has helped me to begin overcoming these temptations

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  7. Brandy Deruso says:

    Let us not go into temptation but to lean on the lord for he will keep us and he is good!

  8. Nhu says:

    So thankful for all the insightful comments from everyone. Thank you sisters for sharing your thoughts and solutions. I love how the Proverbs 5 is told as a story, which shows temptation and seduction is a process, it appears every so gently, just an inch to start off and before you know it is a mile down the road in no time. And as someone has shared, truly everything starts in our thoughts first, and then through actions. If we recognize this pattern, we can stop our wandering thoughts, and ask God to cleanse our thoughts before it goes wild to lala land.

    For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds. Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
    And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. 2 Corinthians 10:4-6

    “Keep your way far from her” does remind me of Joseph’s reaction when he was seduced shamelessly by Potiphar’s wife. She threw herself at him. And he ran far, no compromise for he does not want to sin against God. He kept himself pure for God. How amazing is that! There was possibly a story that lead to this finale of the seduction act that Joseph had overcome which the Bible did not mention, however Proverbs 5 has filled us in that seduction is a process. May we recognize the tempter, the source and cut it off at the root, run far from it before it could lead us down the path. Bless you sisters.

  9. Kristen says:

    Just read this today in my Bible’s notes. Temptation comes from evil desires inside us, not from God. It begins with an evil thought and becomes sin when we dwell on that thought and allow it to become an action. Like a snowball rolling downhill, sin grows more destructive the more we let it have its way. I heard this: sin will take us farther and we thought and keep us longer than we know. Stop it before it is too strong or fast moving to control. These Scriptures were listed for escaping temptation: Matthew 4:1-11, 1 Corinthians 10:13, 2 Timothy 2:22.

  10. Laura Beckom says:

    Powerful testimony Laura

  11. Jen Brewer says:

    Thank you for sharing your story, Laura, and for your challenge. ❤️❤️

  12. Kenzie says:

    (1) I suppose this passage is written as a story to help paint a detailed picture of the destruction that adultery can cause.
    (2) A few temptations I am facing now is spending money. Also, I have made the choice to repent of sexual sin in not only my body but my mind, soul, and spirit too.
    (3) To me “Keep your way from her means to keep to a godly path and resist temptation. To do this, praying to God for strength and direction would help. Also, to focus on our thoughts ask God to keep them pure and honorable.

  13. Jennifer Anapol says:

    As I was pondering the reading, I was reminded that it isn’t a sin to be tempted. It’s what we do with that temptation that matters. Do we flee from it or entertain it? The temptation I am dealing with right now is jealousy. How jealousy starts in my heart is by comparing what I have with what I perceive other people around me having. I pray the Lord would produce contentment/thankfulness in my heart ❤️ that would replace this jealousy.

  14. Alexxa Reed says:

    To Angela! Idk what happened to this comment

  15. Alexxa Reed says:

    Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts! I definitely can relate to getting stuck in the “me” mindset.

  16. Jes Fry says:

    Amen!

  17. Sommer Berlanga says:

    “Unchecked longing and unaddressed pain in your heart”, this is a completely different way that I have ever heard this taught but really resonated with me. I struggle in this area and have always wondered why because I adore my husband. This is a prayer and study moment asking God to reveal more.

  18. Bridget Vaschak says:

    Sometimes, the things that are “tempting” to someone are things that are not obviously bad or even bad for everyone. For example, I stay away from romance novels and movies – clean ones like Hallmark, etc. , because they tempt me to be dissatisfied with my life, marriage and husband. Those movies are often the “chick-flicks” that can fun to watch with women friends. But that is not good for me.

    1. Cathy Martin says:

  19. Traci Gendron says:

    I think the telling of a story helps you to “feel” the destruction better than reading a list of reasons. It becomes emotional. We can all probably relate to the story. I found it hard to keep things to myself in my past. I have much better control over my mouth, but I work on it. I don’t want to betray someones trust. Don’t go flirting around with gossip..period.

  20. Cynthia Johnston says:

    Every sin starts in the mind. That is why it is so important to take EVERY thought captive to obey Jesus Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

  21. Amanda Theriault says:

    Temptation has always been a word that I’ve seen played out many many times growing up .. watching my father, who struggled with alcohol, give in to that temptation for most of my childhood, watching marriages in my family, and outside my family end because of adultery. Temptation is heavy and it’s real and as humans we cannot take it on alone. Alone is where Satan likes to find us .. where it’s easier to prey on us. We need to give our fears to the Lord, lay them at His feet. Satan can’t touch us there .. our God is bigger than anything Satan can throw at us. Raising two boys, my husband and I want to equip them with strength,wisdom and an unwavering faith to fight against any temptation that may come their way. It won’t be easy .. temptation comes in many colors that are alluring and attractive. But if we walk with Jesus through it … it will be easier for us to see temptation for what it is and move passed it. All the while strengthening our relationship with Him.

    Praying for all who are facing temptations in their life at this moment .. praying for the strength to flee and give it to the Lord ♥️

  22. Maura says:

    Laura thank you for sharing your story. May God continue to bless your marriage. It is those hard things that help us to see God’s strength and help us o lean into Him and grow. It is the little lies we tell ourself that in any sin, like oh this won’t hurt anyone, or that we need to fit in. But God has called us to be apart from the world. JoAnna, Thanks for sharing James 1:12-15 I am thankful that our God calls us to be holy and in Jesus shows us what to strive for and enables us to be humble and turn away from sin and temptation as we draw near to Him. Good responses this morning, thank you all. Missing your comments Angie and Tina, praying you both are doing well, trusting you are shining bright in His light.

  23. Amanda Theriault says:

    ♥️

  24. Chris Swan says:

    Thank you Laura. My experience too and the other party was my “best friend”. But God is good and we too are better and stronger in our faith together as one,

  25. Beth Truax says:

    Temptation and sin are a slippery slope as we normally deceive ourselves into thinking we can handle it when we cannot. As a believer we must choose to not put ourselves in those situations.

  26. Nancy Singleton says:

    Excellent points, all!

  27. Marya P says:

    Thank you for sharing this Laura. God is so good.

  28. Mari V says:

    Stay away! Go the other direction! Don’t go there! Is what came to mind.

  29. Sharon, Jersey Girl says:

    Temptation is not something to fool around with. As I read and reread Proverbs 5:8, it becomes very clear to me that this is a warning. I am to avoid temptation at all costs! Flee! Run as fast as I can from it! Get far, far away from that which I am tempted by. And, I must realize from the very beginning that I can not do this in my own strength, but only through strength of Jesus Christ. It’s when we think we can do it on our own that we fail. Satan is real, he is a tempter,a liar, a deceiver. Don’t listen to him, hearken to the voice of God. When we d
    o this and we will have victory!

  30. Churchmouse says:

    All sin is an offense to God and self destructive. Every sinner who repents of their particular sin, regardless of what it is, and submits to the Lord’s leadership over their life is a hero/heroine to me. A person need not be defined by their sin because they have a gracious and loving God who passionately pursues them for their good and His glory. He forgives. May we look at our fellow sinners with the same grace and compassion. May gossip of another’s sin never come from our lips. The golden rule is gold for good reason. Let us follow it.

    1. Tanya Lister says:

      ❤️ Amen!

  31. ERB says:

    Paula Napier Uhl, my thoughts exactly!! Amen!!!

  32. Erica Chiarelli says:

    This is why I won’t join in when people talk about the looks of men around me. My husband is the only person I should dream of or look at. Many may not agree but as Christians,.we shouldn’t even be looking, even “joking”. We need to.stay above board, as we guard our hearts & minds.

    1. Lee Gaar says:

      Amen! If one gives permission for one’s eye to wander, the mind will begin to wander as well. Play out a little conversation here a little light flirtation there, and suddenly one’s husband looks boring and you are vaugly unsatisfied with life.

  33. Laura says:

    When I see the word “adultery” I always cringe, because I have experienced this pain firsthand, and it is devastating. A misconception people have about adultery, I think, is that it happens to marriages that aren’t good. I felt a lot of judgment when my husband’s affair was made public, where people were looking at me and wondering what I had done to cause him to wander. This was very hurtful, and while I’m not saying that I was a perfect spouse in any way, my husband’s sin was because his heart was not right with God and Satan, the ultimate liar, deceived him in his weakened state. In order to heal from this failure, he needed to turn his heart towards God and walk in His ways, and that is thankfully what he chose to do. I’m writing this to challenge all of us to keep our hearts and minds on God, always, because when we don’t, when we allow our lives to get overcome by the worries and stress of the World, Satan gets a foothold and uses whatever he can to deceive us. My husband’s adultery was a shock because we actually didn’t have a bad marriage. But he was in a bad place spiritually. And although I suffered along with him in this sin, I have grown a lot in my knowledge of what it means to forgive, and my trust in God is even greater than ever. Because while my husband was unfaithful, I was home praying to God for my husband. At the time, it was not the answer to prayer that I would have wanted or desired, obviously. It hurt A LOT. But I can say that we are stronger now, have an even better marriage, and I can praise God for the many ways that He worked on our lives and in others lives because of this situation.

  34. Pamela Napier Uhl says:

    I like to think of this as a lusts of the flesh. Whether drinking too much, hanging with unsavory people, or flirting or doing what you know in your heart is wrong. If you tempt yourself to dabble in that path you will go further and further. Pushing boundaries and eventually giving yourself permission to go all in. I could always find justification for myself! But it is committing adultery, whether physical or proverbial. Cheating and destroying what you committed to, or the values you should hold true. And that’s just the human aspect. It’s a slippery slope with far reaching consequences.

  35. Paula Kline says:

    Amen sister!

  36. Joanna Griffin says:

    James wrote it perfectly, ““God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”
    ‭‭James‬ ‭1:12-15‬ ‭

    Don’t entertain those thoughts and allow them to grow, just say, “No! This is not who I am, this is not who I am called to be.” Even mid-thought.

  37. Paula Kline says:

    (1) Why tell a story?
    In my mind fidelity and adultery are important to God in a multifaceted way. Similar to parent child relationships, the marital relationship is a metaphor for our relationship with God. So in some ways, our fidelity to our spouse (or our principles/convictions generally) is window into the most critical parts of our soul. And it turns out, most of us do not sacrifice our souls to something that (on its face) appears destructive… particularly self-destructive. But infidelity to our spouse, our principles, our God is most certainly that. So how are we lead down that path? Seduction. The self destructive leads with honey (sweetness, pleasure, simplicity) and oil (softness, gentleness, ease) and ends in disaster and humiliation. This plays out with EVERY stronghold I’ve encountered from sexual sin, to drugs, to pride, to lying… you name it the path is the same. And when know the story it’s easier to say…. wait a minute! I know how this ends!

    (2) Describe a temptation you are facing.
    I would say I have noticed some temptations recently to lie… not in big ways but little ways (make the picture look better than it is, smooth off the rough edges). I also think I frequently wrestle with pride… which takes the form of me trying to take responsibility for and control a whole bunch of things I have no actual control over and the feeling smug about it.

    (3) What does “stay far from her” mean and how does that apply to your temptation?
    It means give it a WIDE BIRTH. Don’t go flirting around with lying and pride. They seem so innocent and gentle (helpful even) at first. But before you know it, it’s a huge issue.

  38. Searching says:

    Not only adultery, but every sin that comes to mind starts with a small compromise, maybe seeming so tiny as to be of no importance, accompanied by the mindset that it’s “just this once”, “I can stop anytime” or “it’s not hurting anyone”. Then the evil one whispers again, see that wasn’t hard, he didn’t find out, you deserve it, no one saw you … and so you make the choice to do it again, with less caution the next time because of the lies you believe …

    The story I think is to show the subtle way you can get drawn into choices and situations. If it was in-your-face clear up front that if you do a certain thing, this is where you end up – most people would probably run the other way and say Not Me! But the small things turn into huge things at some point and then it’s “if only I’d known …”

    I Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. (NKJV)

  39. Kris says:

    Don’t even give sin a foothold. Something may seem innocent and not that big of a thing. Before you know it, you could be justifying other things. A thought comes in. Don’t entertain it. Don’t act on it. Sin can be a slippery slope. Listen to the podcast for this week. The ladies discuss this day’s reading.