Scripture Reading: Luke 15:11-32, Matthew 7:1-5, Matthew 23:25-28, Luke 18:9-14, Romans 2:1-11, Romans 3:9-23
As a teenager I was a pretty lousy prodigal. The youngest of three daughters, I had the benefit of watching my sisters’ rebellious moments backfire, and so I learned quickly that the best way to stay in my parents’ good graces was to toe the line. Add to that the fact that we lived at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, surrounded by structure, discipline, and people who knew how to do things right. Early on, I decided I wanted to be like them. I applied that same logic to my young Christian faith, thinking that if I lived “rightly,” all my dreams would go just as I’d planned. I even claimed Scripture to back me up! (See Proverbs 16:3.) Instead, my self-righteousness grew like a cancer, slow and undetected, hidden by a life focused on pleasing others.
There is so much irony in self-righteousness because it is exactly the self-righteous who don’t think they have a problem. That’s why it can be a toxic sin, one that creeps into our lives without our awareness. Today, I find it most apparent in my marriage. When I’m having a bad day, God forbid my husband sneeze too loudly, miss a button on his shirt, or accidentally leave the stove on because I’m quick to point out or dwell on his minor flaws while ignoring the far bigger issue: my critical spirit.
In the parable of the prodigal son, the older brother starts a long argument with his father. He was angry and, legally speaking, he probably had a valid case against his younger brother. But followed to the root, his anger was really deep-seated resentment. He tells his father, “I have been slaving many years for you” (Luke 15:29). His angry confession reveals that all along he’d felt bitter about the work his father had asked him to do. He mentions that he’d never had a party thrown in his honor. Deep down, he felt he deserved one, along with the accolades that would surely come with it.
Self-righteousness blocks our ability to find joy in the redemption of others. When I’m being self-righteous, I’m far better at calling other people names than I am at naming my own sin. Reading the parable of the prodigal son has never been fun for me because I know I’m the older brother—heart hardened and locked up tight—and I would much rather be the younger brother, who knows he’s in desperate need of forgiveness.
In church circles, people often talk about the father running out to meet his son. I’ve been taught that men in that culture didn’t run; they never picked up their robes, exposing their ankles. What the father did was unabashedly and radically loving. But something I’ve never noticed before was that he didn’t stop there—he didn’t just run out to greet the son who’d been lost and gone astray. The father also sought out his self-righteous son; he was aware that his eldest was missing from the party.
There is hope in the gospel of Jesus Christ, even for self-righteous people like me. Out of His abundant love, the Father comes after us too. There is room for all of us at His table.
Written by Claire Gibson
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12 thoughts on "Making Room for the Self-Righteous"
“Room for all of us at his table.” ❤️ a great reminder.
Father forgive my critical spirit. Soften my heart. Thank you for Your never ending grace and mercy and love. In Jesus name, Amen
This story always gets me in so many ways. Like the author, I too had to wrestle with my “older brother” tendencies and come to grips with my judgmental habits. Being the “good girl” and always “towing the line” can get to your head and I also saw this part of myself most clearly after I was married. It took some buffing and hard times and low points for me to see my own heart.
The other reason this story is so dear to me is because as you know, we have our own prodigal story playing out in our family right now. Our youngest daughter, who was estranged from us for 7 years, is home. So many people prayed for this moment, across the world really, for this miracle. And I praise God for it every day. There has been a posture of humility in her that we have never seen, and to the best of our ability, we have opened up our arms to her and just shown unconditional love. The hatred and disdain for us that she once spewed, it is completely gone. We pray daily for her heart to be turned to the Lord. But we see an openness there that has never been there before. And we are waiting on the Lord for the next miracle in her life.
But for so long I also prayed for our oldest daughter, who very easily could have been the oldest son. She never left. She did the right things. She endured a lot of abuse and hatred from her sister which was unprovoked and undeserved. Milestone events in her life will always be tainted with the absence of her sister. I prayed for her heart to soften towards her sister. She believes in Jesus, but she was mad and bitter and as we prayed and hoped for our youngest to return, our oldest held onto her bitterness.
First miracle, our youngest reached out to me on my birthday, after 7 years of silence. Second miracle, she reached out to her big sister and asked to see her niece whom she had not yet met. And there has been reconciliation. The youngest asked for forgiveness from her sis. Big sis gave it freely and they are finally getting to have the relationship that I have always wanted for them.
God is good. All the time. Don’t give up on your prodigals. Keep praying.
Claire, Thank you for being open and sharing with us. Reading your story finally allowed me to realize I too am the older brother. I have asked God to forgive me. Now I have to learn to hear and see through His ears and eyes and not my own.
“Self-righteousness blocks our ability to find joy in the redemption of others.”
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So very true, Claire. Thank you.
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Yup, I’m the older brother, for sure! I’m very much a “rule-follower” and easily fall into the self-righteous gutter when “non-rule-followers” get recognition and rewarded. Where is the fairness in that, right?
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BUT GOD…
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Thankful God is not done with me yet and has made room for me to grow and change.
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MERCY – prayers for your eye surgery today. May the Lord bless you with His peace and a quick recovery.
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LINDA IN NC – praying Gene’s procedure went smoothly yesterday.
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ALEIDA P. – continuing to pray the Victor is getting the help he needs and finds work and a place to live.
The eventual humility of the younger son is, well, humbling. Taking what he had been given and squandering it recklessly, then finally coming to his senses when he was down to nothing – taking hat in hand, so to speak, as he headed back to his father’s house to admit his foolishness and wrongness. How many times have I gone my own way, ignoring God’s guidance or never asking for it … and then finding myself humbly asking the Lord for forgiveness, and guidance to show me the best way out of the mess I’ve made?
And I wrangle with and pray about self righteousness on a regular basis, tamping down that knee jerk reaction that I know better.
Thank you, Jesus for making room for me. Amen
Amen
I asked Google what self righteousness means..
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Ready?
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Self-righteousness (also called sanctimony, sententiousness, and holier-than-thou attitudes)[1][2] is an attitude and belief of moral superiority derived from a person deeming their own beliefs, actions, or affiliations to be of greater virtue than those of others.[3] Self-righteous individuals are often intolerant of the opinions and behaviors of others that they deem to be less virtuous.[4]
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OUCH!
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I think, sometimes we get carried away with our ‘God work’ that we believe we are of ‘the chosen, can do no wrong’ variety.. Because we walk with the Lord, we are exempt from judgement in our holier-than-though attitude!
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Wake up call right there..
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Remove the beam of wood from your eye, as opposed to the splinter in another’s!
Yet another OUCH!
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There is nothing wrong with doing God’s work humbly and for the Lord, far from it, it’s when it becomes ‘I rank better..’ that’s when life takes a turn quietly towards disaster!
I believe though, that the humble walk with our Father God, steadies us, not going too far ahead of ourselves, and as Micah 6:8 says, to live life justly, love mercifully and to walk humbly with our God..
It is so easy to go about believing thst because I/we have God, we have some sort of superiority..immunity,
The journey, as I am understanding it, is putting others first, listening to them and hearing them without judgement and superiority, no matter who they are or their language, style, colour, position in life.
Funny thing is, here on earth it may mean something, but in Eternity that’s another thing.. The Lords prayer says ” thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven..”
We may not get it right all the time, this side of heaven, but by golly it sure is worth trying as we move towards our Father God and our forever home, and the joy of Eternity..
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BUT GOD..
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AMEN..
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I know it’s not a worship song, but that pop song of old by Johnny Nash… I can see clearly now, just came to mind..
Rejigging the words a tad..
I can see clearly now the ‘plank’ has gone, I can see all the obstacles in my way, gone are the dark clouds that had me blind..
It’s gonna be a bright bright sunshiny day..
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Prayerful your day, dear hearts, is a sunshiny one, and that we walk our path humbly, in mercy and with our Father God who makes room for us at His table..
Much love.. and prayers..
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Tina.❤️
Like Claire, I have always identified with the older brother in the story of the prodigal son. So appreciated her pointing out that the Father also sought this son after noticing he was not at the party. The Holy Spirit is lightening fast at pointing out where I’m condemning others for the very things I do. Praying I will be just as quick to repent!
Amen Tina!
Love this, TINA! ❤️