Today’s reading talks about the earthly union between a husband and wife and expresses two commands with regard to that relationship: “Each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). The broader context of Ephesians 5 (and similar passages, like Colossians 3) is that the union between husband and wife should be an earthly expression of the heavenly love we receive from Christ, which is why Paul said he was “talking about Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32).
There’s a theological framework for studying Scripture called the “indicative and imperative” in which you identify what a passage says about God and how we are called to act in response. In this passage, Paul offered many statements about the person and work of Jesus: Christ is the head of the Church and the Savior of the body (v.23); He loves the Church and gave Himself up for her (v.25); He presents the Church in its full splendor, cleansed by His blood shed at His death (vv.26–27); and He provides and cares for the Church (v.29).
Paul said that because of the way Christ loves you, you should treat each other in this way. The imperative is loving others (like a spouse) sacrificially. The dual commands to “submit” and “love as Christ loved the church” are more similar than they are different, more parallel than hierarchical. What does it mean to “submit”? Verse 22 actually refers back to the same use of the word in verse 21, which tells us that everyone should be “submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.”
The concept of submission in Scripture is unpacked through the example of Christ, who washed the feet of His disciples, invited the poor to dine with Him, touched the sick, and “emptied himself by assuming the form of a servant” (Philippians 2:7). This is not altogether different from a call to love “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25), which is the command Paul gives to husbands. Both of these commands, in fact, feel inextricably linked to the two greatest commandments Christ Himself gave His followers.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.”
—Matthew 22:37–39
Marriage is an earthly gift that reveals a deep capacity to love. And even that love pales in comparison to the love Christ has for His beloved Church. In marriage and in all relationships, we are called to submit, to humble ourselves before others, to give and love sacrificially. But the imperative here—the seemingly impossible task of always putting others first—rides solely on the merit, grace, and mercy of the indicative: Christ first loved us, sacrificially and humbly, to the point of death. May we love, because He first loved us (1John 4:19).
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65 thoughts on "Wives and Husbands"
Mia, ❤️ Much love to you.❤️
Finally got back here to share the song I wanted to share this morning. I haven’t thought of it in many years so I couldn’t remember enough to Google it. As I was out driving between commitments today, the title popped into my mind! Here it is.
Wedding Song (There Is Love)
Song by
Noel Paul Stookey
He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love, there is Love.
A man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home
And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning is now and til the end
Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.
And there is Love, there is Love.
Well then what’s to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?
And if loving is the answer, then who’s the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you’ve never seen before?
Oh there is Love, there is Love.
Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love, there is Love.
Songwriters: Paul Stookey. For non-commercial use only.
“But the imperative here—the seemingly impossible task of always putting others first—rides solely on the merit, grace, and mercy of the indicative: Christ first loved us, sacrificially and humbly, to the point of death. May we love, because He first loved us (1 John 4:19).” Amen, MELANIE RAINER!
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From HRT:
Let’s ask ourselves: how do my relationships reflect Christ’s love and sacrifice? Can I nurture my relationships to be a testament to His sanctifying work in me, growing together in love?
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From Tim Keller’s sermon ‘Marriage in Christ’: 1) Marriage helps us understand what the gospel is about (sacrificial love, becoming like Jesus!) and 2) the gospel gives us the power (God’s fullness!) to be either married or unmarried very well.
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We have God’s fullness and His promise of everlasting love. In Him we have all we need, whether we are single, divorced, widowed or married ❤️
Thank you Julia.. for this.. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this, Julia.
Ok. Wow guys. Another update on my pts cleaning situation, as I believe something supernatural happened this morning. You should know I am habitually late and always stack my schedule as full as possible in effort to be efficient. So I find out my 10 o’clock has cancelled and me being me I decided to book a meeting there to fill the time. So I’m driving to my 9 o’clock which is the unclean house, listening to the she reads truth podcast for this week and praying, that I will have peace over this situation and God will supernaturally take care of them. The podcast starts talking about being good stewards of our time and leaving space to take care of others. And then my meeting gets cancelled, and I’m like ok God if it’s still not clean I will at least clean the kitchen with the 30 extra minutes I’ll have. I walk in and it’s not clean, and my patient is confused because somehow I have arrived 30 minutes early! So I tell him I have no where to go until 10 so I’d like to help clean the kitchen. I help sweep and mop the floor, and leave and get into my car and it is 10 o’clock on the dot. Which would be the time I would have originally finished. Y’all. I cannot stress enough that my time management skills are not good. Like God supernaturally managed the time this morning to do one simple task. It wasn’t perfect, and it’s far from complete but at least when his wife walks in the entryway it will be slightly cleaner!
So before I went on to read the scriptures in my ESV Study Bible, the top line says “Rules for Christian Household”, and the Spirit spoke so loud to me, make sure this is an equally yoked marriage covenant, these rules are for such. Wow, what a prerequisite. So I want to throw this out there. This passage is very painful to read if the marriage is dysfunctional, or the source of abuse, where evil works abound, like lying, manipulation, guilt, shame, hurt. I heard an advice from a man, who taught on this passage once, and it stuck, he said submission to the wrong man is a DEATH sentence. So single ladies, please lean on God’s guidance to choose the Christ on earth husband who is willing to die and cover you, we must test, discern, be patient for God’s provision and leading to such a man. I am praying for the marriages, and our future children. Marriages are under so many attacks. Same for our children, the fierce battles in the womb to steal lives (the modern day altar to sacrifice innocent blood of children under the name of planned parenthood), the battles of identity, bathroom rights for girls, school safety, all are threatened so badly. I borrow a quote from CS Lewis, “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work”. May we pray without ceasing for marriages, and for our precious children, and the birth of new godly/holy/ rightious generations and the preservation of their lives, and their God given identity. And that comes with a strong and godly government. Thus, I am also praying for the presidential debate tonight, may the Lord cover his righteous candidate once again, from bullets of words and evil accusations, “When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn.” Be blessed dear sisters.
THIS!!!!: So single ladies, please lean on God’s guidance to choose the Christ on earth husband who is willing to die and cover you, we must test, discern, be patient for God’s provision and leading to such a man.
. So single ladies, please lean on God’s guidance to choose the Christ on earth husband who is willing to die and cover you, we must test, discern, be patient for God’s provision and leading to such a man
Mercy, perfect words for the singles to hear..❤️
Submit – a call to love. It changes the way we look at the word submit. It becomes doable.
Yes! I am not fan of this chapter of on Ephesians.. but like you say, Traci, this is doable..❤️
I appreciate the way Melanie defines what these verse truly mean. How they point to who God is and who we are to be because of Him. I believe these verse speak of a heart posture we are all to have towards one another. In everything we do, serving Him as He served – in how we treat each others, in how we allow ourselves to be treated, in how we work, and in how we live daily.
Hello Shes
If you haven’t I highly encourage you to listen to the SRT Week 6 podcast with guest Vivian Mabuni. I felt they gave an exceptional lead-in to themes found in our weekly reading. Particularly context around the challenges of Chapter 5 in the 21st century.
I usually listen & take note first thing on Monday for an overview on each day.
My helpful takeaway “quotes”:
“ hear in the context of believers”
“more instruction given to the man than woman”
“a dying to the self in both”
“not unchecked authority”
“looking for the good in each other”
And today from Melanie Rainer.
“an earthly expression of heavenly love”.
And hearing about the “indicative & imperative” to boot!
GWINETH52, thank you for this breakdown of the devotional today..❤️
Since being divorced, I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief when reading these verses, because at first glance I think they don’t apply to me. But there’s so much to learn from here. First, if I am to ever marry again, I would BE SURE that the man is someone I could respect and submit to. (my 1st one wasn’t, and I had no business marrying him in the first place). But, be careful, all you young single ladies who are wanting to be married – if you can’t respect him and submit to him DON’T MARRY HIM!!! You don’t want to struggle thru every day of your life with him. Second, this makes me think if Christ as my Husband, the way He loves, cares for, has my best interest in mind. All the things I wish I had in a husband, HE IS! I was recently encouraged to look to God for all the things I want in a husband, and ask Him to show me where He is doing all the things… while I am single, I will not be desperate in any way, because I have a Husband in Jesus, and until He brings me a human husband, I will be content.
Kris I couldn’t agree more. Marriage is taken so lightly. I too am divorced. It is crucial to take time, to really know the men we look to marry.
Submit and respect! Sometimes I struggle but knowing Christ called us to love Him and love others helps. My husband is great but sometimes we clash because we are polar opposites. I now have seen how God uses our differences as iron sharpens iron. When I remember to focus on my role, I notice less of where he falls short.
We need each other! I pray for all my sisters who struggle with these verses. Praying for all the requests.
Felt led to share my notes today…
-SO thankful for ALL that God is revealing and doing!! May we walk to please Him and Him alone!! Amen.
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Ephesians 5:25-32
*for a lot of years these verses disturbed me as their interpretation was distorted by human motives and understanding.. but looking at them with God’s eyes and with His understanding, I love the CLARITY that they bring!! Wives and husbands are a reflection and an analogy of Christ and the Body!! Are we submitting, loving, cleansing, purifying and setting ourselves aside the way Christ did?!! Are we choosing to become one with God? Complete restoration. Or are we choosing to become one with self/enemy? We can only serve ONE, not both!! Definitely makes you think!! And it also brings into alignment the way we are suppose to love and be loved!!! God LOVES us SO MUCH!!! May we love and live as Christ did!!! Amen.
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Colossians 3:22-24
*love the reminder that we are to submit to God and do EVERYTHING, WHOLEHEARTEDLY for God, to please and serve Him alone!!! I remind myself of this daily, hourly even!!! I ask… am I doing this task the same way that I would if God the Triune were physically right beside me? Am I doing this to get noticed by man, or am I doing this solely unto God, so that HE may get noticed? All of this is very aligning and I am SO grateful for that!!! May we align ourselves to God and submit to Him alone!! When we do this everything else just falls into place!! Thank You God!! You are SO faithful and true, You deserve ALL recognition, submission, honor, glory and PRAISE!!! Let us praise, honor and submit to You in ALL things!!! Amen.
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May God’s love, light and clarity fill and surround us today and always!!! Big blessings wrapped in love and surrounded by prayer, today and always!!! Xoxo
Amen, ERB! Seeing Him as the source brings so much clarity!
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Every now and then my man asks for the jumbo jar of pickles. It doesn’t fit in the fridge easily and then it sits there forever, taking up precious space. He forgets we have them. While I enjoy pickles, I don’t want the giant jumbo jar. I finally bought the jumbo jar…again…because he likes them and I love him.
♥️
Hey G
How sweet it is!
Whether those pickles in the jumbo jar are giant dill or baby gherkins!!
Hugs all around the fridge & table.
Missing my precious husband! His goal (successful) was to love me like Christ loves the church. He wasn’t perfect, of course, but he truly loved me well. I’m so thankful for every single minute I had with him. God is good!
Mia Faith, those could be my words exactly! I miss my husband so much. Such a Godly man, and I am honored to be his wife. I know I’ll see him again.
Mia Faith, I thought of you while reading this. Such a bittersweet time for you. Hugs and prayers ❤️
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Dear Faith, praying for peace, joy and God’s love to surround you ❤️
Mia, ❤️ Much love to you.❤️
I am reading a Christian novel about the Civil War here in America. It has given me perspective on this topic.
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There was a time when marriage roles were clearly defined, accepted, and adhered to. Due to war taking husbands out of the home and women having to step in to do jobs men had formerly done, things started to get wacky. (The women got a new vision of what they were capable of.) Add to that the NEED for 2 incomes and a new pattern was established (and accepted) for many.
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Love and prayers, beautiful sisters! Gotta run now. ❤ I will share a song later when I can look it up.
Marriage is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My always independent, “don’t tell me what to do” self had to do a lot of heart searching (and really, it’s ongoing) when my marriage began. Many years of being single and handling everything myself, a failed marriage where the roles were not as they should be …
Praying for wisdom is a 24/7 requirement for me, as we seek the balance detailed in today’s verses. As LAURA said yesterday, we are 2 totally different people and personalities.
These are difficult and painful verses for some of our sisters – praying that all are protected, separating evil interpretation & actions from God’s truth and His love.
LINDA IN NC – praying good sleep and rest continue, thankful you can find humor in these difficult circumstances. Indeed, who else would do the things we do for our husbands! ❤️
JULIA C – thank you for sharing the “to fill” info yesterday
CEE GEE – first thing that came to mind was the Sunday School/kid’s church song …
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I may never march in the infantry,
ride in the cavalry, shoot the artillery;
I may never zoom o’er the enemy,
but I’m in the Lord’s army.
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TRACI GENDRON – thank you! For sharing that Tanner memory ❤️ A good lesson in putting one foot in front of the other.
SHARON JERSEY GIRL – wow, another cancellation … that ain’t right! Praying for repair or alternate location for consistency in treatments. I didn’t realize all the prep involved as my husband had to have surgery as his treatment. Praying for Jeff ❤️
MIA FAITH- praying for wisdom, guidance and clarity in your housing decisions. My advice to clients over the years has been to hold off on major financial decisions for six months or even a year if possible, although every situation is different. Love you! ❤️
TAYLOR – awesome attitude!
MARTHA HIX – praying the Lord will guide you in each step on the decision making process. Change is hard!
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Me – doing some better, thankfully, and able to get some sleep these past few nights. God is good!
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Cousin made very good progress in hospital, was released and made the trip home. Will have home health services to assist while she recovers and adapts.
❤ Amen…again! You touched on what I was just about to write in comments. thanks for the reminder of the song!
Insightful comments… our oldest daughter went through 18 years of difficult marriage (abusive, affairs, etc) Praise God, on the other side… lots of healing for her and son and daughter…BUT GOD!!
So appreciate your honesty and candid sharing! Glad you’re experiencing some relief! Lifting you to Jesus…
We sing that song at home, so sweet …I am in the Lord’s army ..yes Sir.❤️
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Dearest, thankful for you and the sleep that is now yours to claim.. Thank you God.. now let’s see if we can’t get you jiving like Elvis!❤️
I love the practice of reading scripture to see God, not a mirror of ourselves. I still forget to do it Everytime! But God, in his grace today help me hone in on genesis and see just as the first man gave a piece of his flesh to create a woman, so Jesus gave his body to create the church. And I was thinking so as woman meant coming from man, Christian must mean coming from Christ. I have been piecing together what it means that Christ is a part of me through this study, and while still a great mystery, this was a fun piece of the puzzle this morning !
Beautiful imagery, Lanie! Thank you for sharing! ❤
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I started this study late, is it the Scripture reading passage only clickable one day and later it isn’t? It’s very frustrating.
Karen, on my Kindle there are 2 ‘links’ for Scripture- 1 above the graphic and 1 below. On my Kindle the one above the grahic doesn’t link on the current day. I have to use the one below the graphic, just above the devo. I just checked a few past days. They only have the upper link and it works for me. Hope this helps! ❤
I have the digital book but usually do the study on the website. Looks like the Scriptures in the upper right corner of the daily devo aren’t clickable – I couldn’t click today’s or past days using my ipad. I don’t click, but rather copy/paste the reference into the online Bible site I use. If the references are also shown on the left just above the start of the devo “Scripture Reading …”, then they seem to be clickable.
I read the scripture portion on the HRT site and they are clickable if that helps. I also like to read their commentary and then switch over to SRT. I use my phone.
has everyone received their next reading plan in the mail? mine hasn’t come and haven’t been able to get any response via email for past 2 weeks…
I got mine! But I ordered it a while ago
I just received mine yesterday.
If you mean Philippians and Colossians then it’s sitting on top of my drawers. Otherwise I don’t have a confirmation.
They’re having subscription issues. I received this email last week.
Dear Subscriber,
You have been incredibly patient with us while we’ve been navigating some difficulties in transitioning subscription management systems. It is possible that you may be among the (un)lucky few who were not charged for your subscription in August, but then double charged for your subscription this month. That’s the bad news.
The good news is that you will receive both your August subscription book (Philippians and Colossians) and your September subscription book (Live by Faith) in the same box in time to read with the community on September 16. This means you will only be charged for shipping once.
Again, we are terribly sorry for the inconvenience this may have caused you and we expect to have our subscription charging issues ironed out this month so that next month, we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Upward and Onward,
Mark D. Bullard, COO
She Reads Truth
Hi Sarah! We’re so sorry for the delayed response. We have received a very high influx of emails due to our recent subscription platform migration. Our Community Engagement Team is working hard to respond. We sincerely appreciate your patience as they respond in the order the emails arrived in in the inbox. Someone will be in touch with you shortly!
Lord change my heart. In Jesus name, Amen
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Love this passage in the Message. “Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.
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Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.”
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Good reminder as we consider our own hearts and as we pray for our husbands.
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If you have not already read it, the book “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerichs is a solid study based on this passage.
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Praying for your requests.
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LINDA IN NC – happy to hear of your good day. Praying the joy strengthens you for days
Thank you, KELLY, for sharing this translation. The evil one has distorted these verses and twisted minds & hearts in the worst ways. May the Lord’s love for us ring true in each of our marriages.
❤ well said, sister! Amen!
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Yes Kelly, Love and Respect is such a great book. It was eye opening and changed my marriage in my understanding of what my husband needed from me. As well as what i needed from him.
Love that interpretation of this passage… also
“Love and Respect” fan… used with many groups in our church… saw many marriages transformed by this teaching! Hubby and I frequently remind each other “the most mature one will submit first” and actually have fun with it… sometimes! ♥️
Always appreciate your comments!
Beautiful translation. Thank you Kelly for sharing.❤️
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Kelly, I have had a loooonnng standing dislike of this chapter in Ephesians.. I was an abused wife and so I have never gotten on with it.. but actually the Message version takes away the pain of submitting to the point of abuse and dominating to the point of fear.. I could almost like that chapter if only in the Message..
Thank you..❤️
Lord, help me to love like You! ❤️
Amen ❤️