The book of Proverbs is a guide for pursuing godly wisdom in our daily lives. In this four-week study, we will read a selection of topical proverbs covering different aspects of wisdom, from how to interact with our friends, families, and neighbors, to fearing God and keeping His commands. No matter the subject, these proverbs urge us to wrestle with and reflect on our own response to them. To help you better engage with the proverbs in this reading plan, we have provided you with a short introduction and reflection questions for each day.
Harboring anger can destroy us, but facing our anger requires a great deal of humility and courage. It is easier to blame other people for the problems in our lives than to do the soul-searching work of admitting our own responsibility. God’s Word speaks to how we handle relationships in times of adversity and through seasons of anger.
Reflection Questions:
Read Proverbs 3:25–26. What dangers do you fear most? What does it mean that God is your confidence?
What is your default reaction to adversity? Do you tend to blame others? Do you tend to blame God, or do you reach out to Him for comfort?
In what ways do you harbor anger? What hope does Scripture give us for our angry hearts?
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45 thoughts on "Adversity and Anger"
Self control on our day, we choose how we view or how we want to view our day, rely on the Lord to help us make that decision
A word that speaks to my current situation. Thank God for giving us the answer to preventing anger from controlling our lives and our responses- Love, be slow to anger and quit before the quarrel breaks out.
When I lose my temper, I’m exalting folly! How sobering and chilling.
My biggest fear is losing my kids and/or my husband.. When that fear rises up in me, I have to remember that God is in control. Our days are all numbered. This place is temporary.
I don’t think I blame God for adversity anymore, but I do question Him sometimes. Especially the big things, racism, hatred, war, this pandemic, etc.
I run to him more now, than I ever have.
I’m practically a pro at harboring anger. God has to work on me daily. I feel a huge change in my life lately, too. I have to die to myself. Take up my cross and choose to follow Him. If my eyes and my heart aren’t focused on Jesus, then my anger gets away from me. I could list all the reasons why I’m angry, but Jesus had the ultimate reason to be angry and wasn’t. Thank you Jesus for the work you are doing in my life!
Fear. Adversity usually brings fear to me because I feel helpless, not knowing what to do next.
I fear being abandoned and also losing family due to death. I really just overall fear not being in control. In order to overcome these fears, I need to fully surrender and put my trust in God. I know what I need to do, but it’s so much easier said than done.
This scripture could not have come at a better time- just this morning my husband and I got into a fight and I was quick to get angry and I said things I didn’t mean. I prayed to god and apologized for letting my emotions get the better of me. Once I let my head and heart calm down, I apologized to my husband and we patched things up quickly. This scripture is a good reminder not to let anger get the better of me and to make sure to keep him in my heart
God has been my refuge in times of need and troubles have faced. I have learned that I have two ears to listen more and one mouth speak less. This came from life challenges.
This is spot on. My family just went through a whirlwind of trial, as a brain tumor was discovered in my mom’s brain. She underwent successful removal surgery yesterday and we are so thankful. Through this experience I’ve seen how God has provided more than anyone else – and my own sin how i react to expecting perfect comfort from others. I have realized i have to have grace on others and overlook their faults, because we are all going through something. I listened to Amanda Cook’s ‘Closer’ and a line in the song that’s repeated over and over is “You’ll never leave me, no, in every season” There’s so much freedom in realizing the comfort of imperfect people will never match that of the perfect Father who is there CONSTANTLY. Thank you Jesus
I must let god take control of my emotions to let him lead not to let the enemy come in and set my emotions lord i humbly come before you lord asking you to lead me in harmony and peace in Jesus name! Amen!
This is very relevant. I’ve been triggered a lot lately. These scriptures made me realize that when I am triggered, I should immediately go to the Lord in prayer, release everything to Him, and intercede for those who are weighing heavy on my mind.
Dangers I fear most is my dad and brother never coming to know the Lord. They clam up and get defensive every time I try and talk about faith. I also fear the unknown, I have an irrational fear of eternity. Because it’s so unknown. It’s a big struggle that I’ve been trying to work on with the Lord. I usually turn to God in my fears because I know His peace is waiting for me. I have confidence in that. Adversity has come my way many times in life and it’s taken time but I’ve learned to turn to the Lord because only He can get me through it. I harbor anger in my heart and in my mind. I’ve come a long way from my teenage years. I used to have screaming matches with my family. I never do that anymore. But I dwell on it in my head.
My response was supposed be to Nhu. Also loved Patience’s thoughts. I definitely do time outs for myself when my emotions, particularly anger, start to get out of control. Also makes me think of the proverb that says ‘Reckless words pierce like a sword but the tongue of the wise brings healing’ as well as James admonishing us to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. I find I often say things I regret later if I let anger take control of my tongue. Help me, Jesus.
I think my greatest fear right now is being hated bc I’m not white. I have an even bigger fear for my children, who are half. I don’t want them to experience hate, but in this world I know that’s not possible. I have been sworn at, and told that I should be deported. The crazy thing is that I am an American citizen, I grew up here, and yet some people hate me bc I look different. When I am fearful I remember there’s nothing that I am going through that Jesus hasn’t gone through himself. John 15:18-19.
ecs, my husband coaches a boxing class for Parkinson’s people at our Y. Please look in to “Rock Steady Boxing” and visit a class near you to see if it is something you’d like. His group has had so many benefits from the exercises! Reduced meds in a few cases. Love and extra prayers for you in your journey? ❤️
I fear people being upset with me or completely failing at life. I often blame myself and God when adversity happens even when it’s just my fault. God can soften this heart.
Correction** I meant to say Proverbs 14:29
The verse that shook me was Proverbs 14:27: “He that is slow to wrath is of GREAT understanding”. So if I get angry, I have not yet mastered great understanding of the situation or the people involved in the situation, things that cause them to act or speak the way they do. I might just have minimal or average understanding only. This is so thought provoking.
I feel like my fears coming from the unknown. But I remember the verse in Psalm 23, even though I walk through the valleys of the shadows of death, the place that it does look haunted, eerie, and yet Scripture says to “walk through” meaning keep walking till the end of that valley, then we realize that it is only shadows and it is actually not the death. And the answer is the Lord for His invisible rod/staff will comfort and protect us. Lots of the disciples did have to face and overcome their fears of the unknown. If Peter does not step out into the stormy water in the dark night, risking being drowned and losing his life, he will not for sure know that it was the Lord and not a walking ghost talking to him. God is our ever-present help in times of trouble. Fear not for He is always with you and with me. Calm the storm of anger/hopelessness or desperation within us with Scriptures of assurance, and we truly can rise above the negative emotions. We are not slaves to our emotions/ anger, but we are the one who can control those (by God’s grace, by prayers, by submitting to His word and not yielding to our flesh). May the Lord who dwells within us keep check on our emotions, keep check on the words of our mouth, the thoughts of our mind to calm the storms of angers raging within us, so we can take hold every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. May we think of things that are noble, that are praise-worthy, that are of good report, and those surely will produce good fruits -feelings of gratitude, contentment, joy and peace. I pray that we can lean on God in times of anger, withdraw ourselves from the scene, say a quick prayer to shift our mind set, and ask God to set us free from the vicious cycle of anger, blaming, resentment, and be able to take a U-turn – to apply forgiveness and extend grace to those who cause us hurt. Bless you sisters.
So after reading many of the comments from today, I saw that a fear was the loss of loved ones at an early age. I have been there, I lost my oldest son the day after his 18th birthday and my niece two days before her 36th birthday. After each loss, I turned to God and Christ first and foremost and then to family and friends. As my father told my older brother at the loss of my son, “her faith is strong and will get her through.” It did. Yes, losing someone at a young age is hard but if you have faith, God and Christ you can make it through.
I’m praying for all those who mentioned needs.
Has anyone noticed any comments from Angie lately?
God be with all of you my sisters.
Grateful
When I saw the title of today’s devotion I was excited and weary. I have met with a lot of adversity in my life, starting over 20 years ago with divorce to just about six months ago with the lose of my niece, who was like a daughter to me. God was with me through it all otherwise I don’t think I would have made it through.
My main fear is being homeless, again. There are two songs that come to mind when I think about fear, Zack Williams’ “Fear Is a Liar” and the other is Francesca Battistelli’s “The Breakup Song”. God is my confidence means I can rely on Him to get me through anything and everything.
My default reaction to adversity is to reach out to God, Christ, family and friends, esp. my Christian friends.
I don’t quite understand the last question.
I’m so glad that God is my security. I can’t put my confidence in this world, it will disappoint.
God is greater than our hearts and He knows all things.
1 John 3:20
(1) The dangers I fear most are the death of a loved one too early. I fear never getting to experience marriage or motherhood. I fear also experiencing death before truly living. The meaning of God being my confidence is to trust Him with my fears. To trust that Gid is good and his ways are higher than mine. To trust that He wont allow me to go through any of that unless there is a purpose for it.
(2) My first reaction to adversity is anger, sadness, and why. Sometimes I blame others but mostly I blame myself or God. At first I tend to blame God ,but then realize He’s the only one who can help me through those times. He’s the only one who can give me understanding.
(3) I tend to suppress my anger and not deal with it until I explode like a volcano when provoked. I tend to lash out on others through words. I am praying for help to control my anger and express it in a more beneficial way. Scripture gives us hope for our angry hearts by giving us understanding and being able to relate. It also gives us hope because scripture says to take heart Christ has overcome the world. When our heart condemns us, He has redeemed us.
Praying for you today ecs.
I loved reading all of your comments today. I know I am still learning how to process anger. I learned early on to stuff difficult emotions and not express them. It just wasn’t the way. Let’s just say the way the anger was expressed wasn’t always healthy. Over the years, the Lord has helped me work on realizing the anger, praying about it and getting to understand it. If I need to talk about it, i.e. with my husband, I try to pray and take my time. Thankful for God’s words of wisdom.
first it was Rotterdam, or more psychiatric ward and its staff in Erasmus MC. But now that I’m getting over that trauma (slowly but surely) my biggest fear is losing my mother. She was the only thing that kept me going, and one of the few things that keeps me going steady right now. One of those other things is a 17 year old dog, Boemer. That if we had listened to the vet, would already be dead, 3 times. But somehow (I believe by God’s hands) we pull each other through it all and we are still together and stronger than ever. I have noticed that I find it easier to trust God with Boemer and losing him than with my mother. I trust and have confidence that the Lord will not take Boemer away from me unless I’m ready for it, even though it’s hard to believe that I will ever be ready for it. I find it harder to do that with my mother, I find it harder to lay it in His hands, I even find it hard to pray for it because it feels like calling dome out over us. But I’m becoming more understanding of God, and I’m starting to trust Him more and more in my life. And I’m not (most of the time) scared anymore to go to sleep because my trust and confidence is in the Lord.
I really needed to read this today.. To be honest, I’ve been away from SRT and reading First 5 because it was much easier to fit that into my day. I missed reading all of your beautiful reflections.
Ladies, could you please pray for me? My husband found a weird withdrawal from our bank account last night and we tried to call the bank but the customer service hours were closed. Another withdrawal went through this morning and I think our account has been compromised, so we might have to change everything over, but it’s only 4AM here and only the lost/stolen debit card number is open. I’m feeling vulnerable, unsafe and very anxious, and a bit angry that someone would deliberately do this to others and hurt them financially… Reading this, I know I need to pray and seek God first in comfort and everything else. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
Almost 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with Early Onset Parkinson’s disease at the age of 49. So the daily struggle for me is the fear of the unknown future that I face with the dangers of a progressive incurable disease that can attack physically and mentally not to mention the fear on top of the disease is the side effects to the medications which has made me decide, right or wrong, to delay taking as long as I can but know that soon I won’t have a choice but to face my fears and start meds. I don’t typically get angry but fear can act just like anger in our lives (Proverbs 17:14) in that if we give it a foothold it can consume us so I have to DAILY choose to trust God’s plan and lean into Him for strength, comfort, and purpose.
When adversity comes my immediate reaction is “what did I do wrong” and “how can I fix it”. I do reach out to the Lord for comfort, but need to remember that His face is the first I should seek, not after I’ve exhausted all other options in my own strength.
Agree 100% with what you fear most.
Amen
We must constantly seek god and rest in him so that our ways and thoughts are like him. Lord help me to be more like you Jesus. Amen.
Churchmouse, I like your “time out” policy. It’s basically what I do when angry or feeling insulted. Stop to breathe, think & pray to see another point of view, stop my pride (like ERB) from viewing everything from my own perspective alone. When I can look at times of adversity as God’s teaching &/or pruning, I realize how much He loves me& doesn’t waste any experience.
The anger question made me think of how I reacted to a marriage situation last week. I got triggered (again) in a situation and was so angry. A song comes to mind that helped me a lot: “I Raise a Hallelujah”. Worship music is powerful! It’s about praising God I’m the presence of your enemies. And forgiveness. That is really hard for me but if you can forgive for even a minute and then for another and then another, you’ll see the work of The Holy Spirit take shape in the anger and it’s truly a beautiful thing.
Big questions today. My default reactions are usually yelling and snide words. They are unreasonably a defense mechanism I use to buy time to figure out what is actually happening and how can I fix it. Illogical because I am only sowing stride withe the yelling and snide words. I do not always go to God for comfort but I know I do not blame him for adversity.
I loved the reflection questions today…
Dangers and Fear: I fear how easy it is for me to be tempted and distracted by the enemy… I see how incredibly dangerous this is and yet my flesh still wins sometimes….
God as my Confidence: I see how time and time again (in the Bible, in my life, in others lives) how FAITHFUL God is, and how He always sees the heart and wants His BEST. This is so comforting to me…
Default Reaction to Adversity: First and foremost I almost always ask God why, then I blame myself, then when it’s time to take a long hard look at it, I try to hide it, or even worse I try to excuse it so I don’t look bad. So, basically my default is pride..
Find Comfort in God: Absolutely!! I seek comfort, affirmation and security from Him daily, even hourly!! I want to know God more intimately though…so I don’t have to “seek” these things but that I would automatically KNOW them. You know what I mean?
Harbor Anger: I don’t tend to harbor anger… I let things go very quickly, always wanting to see the best… but when the same thing or patterns of things keep happening over & over again.. I really struggle with resentment. I tend to lose trust and confidence. I forget to hope. ..and I forget to KNOW that God WILL be FAITHFUL. Which is something God is working with me on…
Scripture and Hope: I find SO MUCH encouragement, comfort and exhortation in scripture. No matter what I’m reading I am always AMAZED at how it applies to whatever I’m going through…God’s word is a MARVEL and I am SO GRATEFUL for it!!!
Anger and Hearts: I think the closer we draw and the more intimately we get to know God, then anger cannot dwell there. God sees our hearts. ❤️
Climbing rocks is scary and the greatest fear, for me, in the physical realm is trusting a rope that might break. With this in mind, climbing the Rock Eternal can be even scarier, and this fear, if not rooted in True Peace, can steal our confidence in God. His Rope is not the rope of this world. It will never break. He has those who commit themselves to the climb harnessed in, by belief in the Truth, to His very great and precious promises. He holds on to us as we hold on to Him, and if we fall, He still has us. The greatest danger, in a spiritual sense, is our own capability to slay the beauty of the climb on the high places by refusing to learn the way and allowing setbacks because we’re climbing our my own way instead of listening to His guidance through the Holy Spirit. “Your beauty, O Israel, is slain on your high places! How the mighty have fallen!” (2 Samuel 1:19). Handholds and footholds on this climb that will never hold me up are rooted in my own device to blame others instead of the handholds and footholds of His Truth and love. Lord Jesus, keep me from taking hold of things, like anger, that will never hold me up on the Mountain of God. Help me to repent of everything that seeks to steal your beauty in me. Please keep me from falling and if I do fall, help me to reach to You for comfort instead of repetitiously blaming others (Revelation 2:5). “Human anger does not produce the righteous life that [You] desire” (James 1:20).
My confidence in god doesn’t mean that the bad things won’t ever happen, but that on the day they do, God will meet me there and help me get through it. This confidence also rests in the fact that the enemy tries to make our minds run wild with worry, when in reality, God hasn’t asked me to face any of my deepest fears today, so I need not worry. “For the lord is on your side.”
(1) What dangers do you fear most? What does it mean that God is your confidence?
I think I fear the tragic deaths of my loved ones the most. I also think I fear betrayal and rejection. I fear specifically the suffering of my daughter. My personality does not leave me much room when it comes to my fears, when they are present they wash over me making me feel physically unsteady, emotionally overwrought and mentally distracted. So God being my confidence is very practical for me here. It means immediate and continuous prayer, reminding myself that God is in this life with me until the next life (and then even more so). It means picturing myself laying under the enormous shield of faith (held up simply saying the things I remember are true about God and his character) collecting the arrows of the enemy. God is the only satisfying answer to any of these fears.
(2) Default reaction to adversity? Blame? Reach out to God? This is a good question. I think it is to try to manage and control it. To fix it. I don’t think I reach out to God until I am helpless and can’t resolve it independently (not great) but true.
(3) Do you harbor anger? What hope does scripture offer our angry hearts? Yes, but less now then ever before and hopefully less tomorrow than today. I have been working on this a lot this year: FORGIVENESS. Not to give you the wrong impression, I’m not generally an angry person. I’m generally very easy going and easy to please. But there are some deep hurts that were/are maintained by a thick callous of anger. God is faithful to help me… he helps me two ways: by demonstrating the value of forgiveness by bearing it on his own son/self and two by reminding me that He will execute perfect justice. Those two things help me to let go and heal.
Sometimes I put myself in time out. When I feel emotions rising in a situation of conflict, I’ve found it’s best if I step back and be silent. I know when my emotions rise I’m not listening as well as I should. Taking a break for a silent prayer and deep breaths makes a huge difference – not always in the other person but always in me. The conversation is more likely to be God-honoring when I do this.
I feel like the “dangers” I fear most are when things are out of my control. The pandemic messing up my life plans is a PERFECT example. So much was out of my control and I really struggled to depend on God during that time and not be angry with Him. Following Proverbs 3:25-26, I know that God is still with me and is still in control and is still working all things out for my good even when it doesn’t seem like it. I can put my trust and hope in Him that He’s taking care of it – therefore I don’t need to stress/worry about things. I pray that today I will put my FULL confidence in God that NO MATTER WHAT, He is still good and I will trust Him <3
That’s great advice. I’ve learned and am learning how to face some of my emotions, but not soon enough. My anger not only hurt me, but many others. Like the Proverb says, if you are around an angry person, you will learn their ways. Sometimes, we don’t even know we are angry. Please seek help, because the damage I’ve caused and the collateral damage for others is something I don’t want any to go through. Praying all that read this, take a different path. Also, if you all don’t listen to the podcast that goes with this study, you should. They talk about the Scriptures for the week, and they did talk a bit about anger too.
In season and out of season (in instances of anger and adversity) we should focus our gaze on the Lord, seek comfort in him, find our calm in Him. Its not as easy as it sounds because anger and suffering distract us from him particularly when we think we are right or when we blame others for our circumstances. I find that praying for the people I blame in these instances helps, I also pray that I not resent them. I asked God for guidance and support to navigate the adversity and my own anger. It calms me, and clears my mind, I find solutions more easily this way. Good morning and happy praying.