Day 17

Children and Parents

from the Ephesians reading plan


Ephesians 6:1-4, Exodus 20:12, Matthew 15:1-9

BY Jen Yokel

Over thirty years later, I can still hear it: small children’s voices, chanting with precise cadence, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1, KJV). I was one of those children. Memory verses were a specialty for me, an overachieving, rule-following kid. And I can definitely see why this would’ve been a verse our teachers wanted to sink in.

As a child, I read this as a reminder to do good things, like clean my room and brush my teeth and share my toys. Now, as an adult, this instruction to children toward the end of Paul’s letter seems a little bit puzzling. Is it about telling six-year-olds to do what their parents say? Some of the verses around it suggest there’s a little bit more going on here.

Just before Paul offers his instructions to husbands and wives, children and parents, and slaves and masters, he encourages the whole church community to live informed by the Holy Spirit, to let their lives reflect their deep transformation through God’s grace. It’s a big-picture view, one that encourages them to “walk in love,” stay wise, and pay attention to how they live (Ephesians 5:2,15). This new way of life applies to everyone, from the lowliest servants to the highest-ranking officials.

So Paul takes the time to address children, some of the most powerless, no-account people in Greco-Roman society. His instructions aren’t surprising; he tells them to obey their parents and reminds them of a commandment that goes all the way back to Mount Sinai: “Honor your father and mother” (Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:2). It’s the sort of instruction you’d give to a child, obedience in a technical sense, recognizing the grownup’s authority. But then Paul turns it around: “Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).

It strikes me that all throughout these sections, Paul’s instruction to the powerless and the powerful is not so different. They’re all rooted in love, service, and care for each other. Though the greater culture may not think twice about fathers holding absolute power over their families, but in God’s economy, the powerful are asked to bend low, to love and care and nurture. Though the power structures exist, they’re made to be subverted by love. The law may call for honor in a technical sense, through traditions and household codes, but God seeks self-sacrifice motivated by grace, gentleness, love, and kindness—a way of life led by and filled with His Spirit.

So then, for children, simple obedience makes sense. But what of their fathers and mothers? What of the grownups tasked to care for, teach, and help show the way to adulthood? In the kingdom, all have the worth and dignity of being made in the image of God. This is where we begin.

Post Comments (51)

51 thoughts on "Children and Parents"

  1. Taylor says:

    Covering many in prayer this morning and thank you all for having the courage to share your struggles and requests with us here on this platform. Know each one is read by many and prayed for by many!

  2. Tina says:

    REBEKAH, I am so sorry for your loss. Praying..
    Sending love wrapped hugs and prayers.

  3. Dragonfly says:

    Sisters, as we prepare for bed tonight let us take time to pray for all those who will be effected by this deadly hurricane, our nation struggling through civil strife, and our world reeling from this relentless pandemic.

  4. Tricia Kennedy says:

    So glad I’m able to teach my son the way of the Lord but being a single mother can be challenging but God.

  5. Tricia Cavanaugh says:

     I did not do right by my children or the Lord when my children were younger. I decided I needed to go my own way and left my children with their dad. Now they are grown with children of their own and they don’t know the Lord. I just feel like the mistakes that I made are things that they are paying for now. Please pray for my two sons and daughter that they would come to know the Lord as their Savior. Please pray that my grandchildren will see Jesus in me now and learn to love him like I do. 
    Thank you.

  6. Courtney says:

    Tina: Praying for your grandson’s speedy and full recovery. Thanking and Praising God for His grace, mercy and healing. Praying that our Lord will take hold of the hearts and minds of those young men who, out of a sense of their own pain, decided to inflict pain on another.

  7. Dorothy says:

    Sometimes I wonder about these verses and honoring your earthly father. My father was a great man but the father to my sons — my ex-husband — that’s different. He would rather be off doing things than to see his sons. After our divorce, no matter how hard I tried to help, my sons didn’t see him but once a month or every six weeks. This was because my ex was always too busy to do something with his sons. I am thankful our Heavenly Father isn’t anything like that.
    Father in heaven, thank you for always being available when you are needed, even for the small things. Thank you for being a Father I can count on through thick and thin. Amen.

  8. Lisa Z says:

    What a gift it is to be part of this community that prays for the victimizers as well as the victims! His light shines here! Thank you for your Christian maturity. It helps me grow. It reminds me the world is still full of His grace even in these crazy, tough times. Thank you, thank you.

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