Day 2


from the Jesus, Keep Me Near The Cross reading plan

Joel 2:12-27, Jeremiah 24:4-7

BY Amanda Bible Williams

Text: Joel 2:12-27, Jeremiah 24:4-7

“Lord, even my repentance is broken. Help me.”

Those are the words I scrawled in my notebook this morning as I tried desperately to lay my heart bare before God, frustrated that the process did not make me “feel” better. I am a sinner, and I know this. He is the one true God, and I know that, too. The lines of communication were open and I was trying to get there emotionally—wherever “there” is—but the warm fuzzies just weren’t coming.

Do you ever have these moments where you fear you’ve forgotten how to pray—where you worry you’re not doing this whole “repent and believe” thing the right way?

I went back to Scripture—to the passages we’re reading together today—and looked for the words “turn” and “return.” Maybe the answer was there—maybe I could learn how to come to Jesus all over again.

I found the first “return” in Jeremiah 24:7, when God says of His people, “I will give them a heart to know Me, that I am Yahweh. They will be My people, and I will be their God because they will return to Me with all their heart.” Then in Joel 2:12, God says through the prophet, “turn to me with all your heart” and again just one verse later—“return to the Lord your God” (HCSB).

And that was all.

Much to my dismay, the call to return to God is not written alongside a long list of to-do’s, an attainable checklist so I can feel sure I’m returning correctly. No, there is just one qualification—to return with all my heart. Evidently the cleaned up, feel-good part of my heart is not all God is looking for. He doesn’t want only the parts of my heart I’m willing to let others see—He wants the whole messy, confused, narcissistic, achy thing.

So, to recap: You and I and our whole unholy selves are called to turn fully, openly, and sans-covering to the holy, almighty God of all the universe.

[Insert deep breath here.]

It’s no wonder we try to come to Him with layers of lies and pride and every other self-preservation instinct intact. It makes sense, right? Except it doesn’t… because Jesus.

The cross of Jesus is the path by which we return to our holy, gracious God. We need not fashion our own defense or disguise to shield our brokenness from His eyes—the blood of Jesus is our covering.

Our actions do not give us the right to return. Our emotions do not grant us access to God. We return because—and only because—Jesus Christ goes before us, His cross as our banner and His grace as our plea.

Sisters, when you doubt that your whole, achy self is welcome in the presence of our God, look to the Cross.
When you fear your return is lacking, that your repentance itself falls short, look to the Cross.
The Cross of Jesus is our only way to the Father—not just the first time, but every time.

His cross dispels each doubt;
I bury in His tomb
Each thought of unbelief and fear,
Each lingering shade of gloom.

I praise the God of grace;
I trust His truth and might;
He calls me His, I call Him mine.
My God, my joy and light.

from “Not What My Hands Have Done”
Horatius Bonar, 1861


Post Comments (316)

316 thoughts on "Returning"

  1. Elizabeth Stewart says:

    This post is so refreshing. Thank you for your honesty, transparency and willingness to share your relationship with God. Our savior, Jesus Christ. You helped me today. So much.

  2. Wilma says:

    Thank you for this post. With re-turn we also need to re-member this regularly. The enemy is vigilant in reminding us daily that we are sinners, but we belong to the God of unending grace.

  3. Kay.e says:

    This reading hit home so hard. For the past couple of months I’ve wrestled with God over this very issue; knowing that it is by His grace alone that I am saved and forgiven, but feeling like I need to do something to earn it anyways. I’ve felt so lost trying to figure out how I was going to “correctly” repent, so that God could see how sincerely sorry I was. It’s so hard to fully fathom God’s unlimited love and all encompassing grace, but this study has reminded me that as difficult as it is to wrap my head around, it does not make God any less amazing than He already is! So I just need to have faith in Him- that His spirit will guide me. THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS READING. It’s such a relief to know that I’m not the only one who struggles with this ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  4. Rach says:

    This is everything I needed today! God is so good!!!

  5. Stephanie says:

    Awesome! So far it’s really made me think about repentance and how we often forget that repenting is a major part of our faith.

  6. Stephanie says:

    I am reading this study for lent 2017. I just felt called to do this study this year, anyone else?

    1. Savannah says:

      Me too! The title of the study really drew my attention… Keeping near to the cross. So far it has been a really great study.

    2. Juliana Pantano says:

      I feel the same way Stephanie!

    3. Pam says:

      Yes,me too! Both days have spoken to me. This is what I needed!

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