Nehemiah: Day 7

The gift of friendship to accomplish God’s work

by

Today's Text: Nehemiah 4:15-23, Proverbs 11:14, Hebrews 10:24-25

Text: Nehemiah 4:15-23, Proverbs 11:14, Hebrews 10:24-25

Nehemiah may not strike you as a story that deals with relationships, but at the core of this book is a powerful message about God’s children working together to accomplish a holy purpose. In this case, it was rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, all while preparing for a possible attack on the city.

Nehemiah has a gift for asking for help and being specific in his needs. While it was his initial desire to rebuild Jerusalem, we see him gather up the Israelites to become active participants in this, to do whatever job they could do.

It might have been very easy for Nehemiah to take all this on and then whine about a lack of volunteers. Instead, he asked directly for what he needed. He didn’t worry about being a bother, he let God take care of their hearts while he went ahead with his mission.

When we ask for help and work with others for the Lord’s calling, we open doors that might have been impossible to open alone. God rarely has a solo plan for His work, and our lives intertwine with other Christians so that we all can draw from each other’s strengths.

Our Christian friendships allow us to use each other’s God given gifts to work together for His greater plan.

As women, we often struggle with turning to another in a time of need. We’re told not to be annoying, to go with the flow, to stick it out. Being able to turn to another woman who loves the Lord changes so much in our lives. Whether it’s a commitment to pray for us as mothers or daughters, to encourage us on a job hunt, to stand by us during a hard time in our relationships, to help with something tangible – we need each other.

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14, ESV)

Today, think about Godly women in your life who may be blessed if you turn to them with a need. Bind together in your friendships for Christ and see what marvels take place for His glory.

“…and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25, NASB)

7

  • Bryana Samuel

    As Christians we should build each other up, not pull each other down!

  • My husband and I are taking steps toward going to the mission field in 3 months. God is using this study in such an amazing way! I am daily surprised by the parallels in Nehemiah to where we are currently right now! So grateful for these truths!

  • Nikki Falvey

    This is such a good reminder! It seems like women have a harder time making friends than men do, maybe because we are told strength requires solo work, but since becoming a believer this is something I’ve really struggled with. It’s hard to put yourself out there and try to make adult friends! But we need one another and this is great encouragement to try.

  • Kasey Summers

    We need each other! We need the whole body because we are all different parts of it working together for the same purpose!

  • An important message about working together as Christians – I’ve never felt closer to God than when I’ve been part of a community or team of volunteers.

  • Outsourced IT

    What solid truth! Thanks for reminding us that "god rarely has a solo plan". As I get older (27 here!) and life changes through marriage and children, I Have found that community and true friendships are harder to come by. I loved this reminder and commission for authentic relationships and to take the risk to lean on one another.

  • I started this about a week ago because I felt God leading me to learn more about Nehemiah. This weekend I hurt my foot so bad that I’m unable to walk on it, it is humbling to have to get help and ironically this Devo spoke so true to my heart and it is something I really needed to hear. Although this is an old study God is still using it to touch women

  • I am coming to this study late, but so glad I am here now. I love how in this lesson Nehemiah encourages the Isrealites by reminding them of God's character: great and awesome.
    These things the Isrealites knew were true:
    1) They were in danger.(v. 11)
    2)They were loosing strength. (v. 10)
    3)They were surrounded by rubble. The work was not nearly done. (v. 10)
    4)They were afraid. (V 14)
    5) By continuing work on the wall (God's command) they repeatedly put themselves in harm's way. (v. 16, 19)
    6) The work was great and extensive.( v.19)

    Doesn't the church feel this way as she builds God's kingdom? When she brings the glorious gospel to the nations that don't yet know Him? Doesn't this feel like persecution when you bring the gospel to others who reject Him? Or, when you build something in your own life you know God is calling you to do? When you undergo trials on every side, especially when it happens for living out your faith, or when God is working something deep in you, and you can't see the end?

    But, the Isrealites knew this to be true:
    1) That God was great and awesome . ( 14)
    2) That God wanted them to continue the work, even though they were tired and it was painful, and the results unknown. (14-17)
    3) God had helped them in the past. ( v15)
    4) God would fight for them.( 20)

    in the midst of danger, discouragement, and exhaustion, the Isrealites did not gather strength from themselves, their own ability to finish the wall or defend themselves. Nehemiah did not encourage them by self-congratulatory measures, gaurantees about the future, or how awesome and obedient they all were. He did not force orders. Instead, he reminded them of the nature of their God – great and awesome. A God that already has and will fight for them. And each, individually, they believed and were reminded and encouraged.

    In our discouragement, in any danger perceived or otherwise we may face as a body of believers, let us always remind each other of God's great character, true and faithful. Let us remind each other of what He has done for us already, the Cross and the Resurrection. let us take great hope and encouragement from the nature of the God we serve, that He is full of mercy and lovingkindness and He always keeps His promises. He has taken care of our biggest problem already: reconciliation with Him. Love this great and awesome God, Sisters, and get on with building His kingdom. Be blessed :)

    • Rebecca

      Thank you Leslie for piecing together in words what my heart was after in this lesson

    • Kendra Schaefer

      Leslie! Wow! You should write devotionals or commentaries. This was beautiful & insightful & thank you for taking the time to write it!

  • ljgibson

    I needed to read this so much. It truly hit home for me today.

  • When I became a Christian a few years ago, God fulfilled one of my greatest desires- to have close female friends. Without these friends, when something rocked my world not long after, I would have taken apart completely. I thank Him daily for bringing me to Him when He did, when I needed Him most- and the people He put in my life. He saved my life.

  • Asking for help is a very, very difficult thing for me to do. I often think I can do it all on my own. I am very stubborn about getting help because all I think of in my mind is that I'm being lazy or not working hard enough. I know it's silly to think that way but it's something I do. Last summer, my husband was deployed and I was pregnant with twins(4-5 months along at the time). We also have four other children under the age of nine. We have over an acre of just grass that had to be mowed, well about every week. And I would do it. One day, our elderly neighbor came over and insisted that he take care of it till my husband got back. It was hard for me to agree at the time.

    I do the same kind of thing with taking care of the kids. I will work myself to pretty much death and my husband will tell me I need to leave the house for awhile or go rest. Today's devotional was a great reminder that I need to not be afraid to ask for help from others. I don't know if it's the introverted part of myself that does it or it's just my personality.

    As I read this one, I was reminded of the verse from Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 " Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." With moving around a lot as a military spouse and being on the introverted side, I am working on building friendships with other women. I recently wrote this verse on our chalkboard door in the kitchen and it's been a great reminder for me to remember that I don't need to face life alone.

  • I for one have trouble asking for help. Sometimes it is out of fear to bother people, other times it is because I feel like it will be faster and better done if I do it myself. So there I go huffing and puffing and getting mad at people around me for being useless when I am the one who refuses asking for help. How can i get mad at people when they do not even know I need help in the first place?! I always seem to make the same mistake – think that it is so obvious that I am struggling with something that people around me should just run towards me with their arms stretched out, ready to catch me falling. Assumption! How many times has it failed me, yet I continue to rely on it over and over again.

    I recently read C. S. Lewis' essay on Pride and it hit me like a brick wall. The real reason behind me doing all by myself, the ugly truth, is pride. Not wanting to bother people? Yeah right! More like I don't want people to think I am weak. Doing things myself gets it done faster and better? Ha! How perfect do I think I am? This is pride talking in me, the worst sin of all. And I never saw it coming either. I mean, for all I knew I was being humble by not worrying people wit my problems. It's amazing how it sneaked up on me disguised as a righteous feeling.

    God, thank you for making me realize and acknowledge the real issue behind my actions. Please help me keep my pride in check and let me allow myself to be vulnerable. After all in our weakest you are the strongest. Let me rely on you during my hardships and accept help from those around me, since it is you stretching out your hands to me through them. Allow me to voice my problems without the fear of being judged by others but most of all by myself. Let me be not my worst enemy. Thank you Lord for being the light in my life and for leading me to this amazing community of such wonderful women. This just shows that you know what we struggle with even before we know it ourselves.

    I have just realized my prayer has been already answered!

    • Carrie

      The C.S. Lewis essay sounds really good. I will have to look into reading that one. Thanks for sharing!

  • Just what I needed today! Sunday we started looking at the life of David, in our church,specifically the friendship aspect. For that morning. That same morning my best friend of 18 years, skyped from Europe, where she now lives. If it wasn’t for my sleeping baby, in my arms I would of cried during the message. These last 2 years we have suffered through a great loss of friendships,some for awesome reasons others, unexplainable, topped off with having 2 babies in less then 2 years. It’s a huge struggle to seek “help” while trying not to be ungrateful, receive pitty friends. It’s an incredibly hard community to find genuine, deep, meaningful friendship. My prayers for the last 6 years is to find just that for myself, my husband and us together. Blessings ladies!

  • Just left Bible Study at my church and we also started studying the chapter Nehemiah. Being together with other Christians to study the Bible is always an uplift for me. When I'm around other Christians especially at church and has we begin to discuss God's words and what He has done in our lives every burden on my mind is released. I thank God for fellowship.

  • LaurenC_

    "Those who carried burdens were loaded in such a way that each labored on the work with one hand and held his weapon with the other." I see myself in Nehemiah 4:17. Right now, after Mother's Day and my birthday (yikes!) I am back in the swirling chaos stuck in my head. Stuck in deep grief again. Laboring on with my work to get up and try again every day, but fighting back dark thoughts and worries and despair that surround me, right now. I keep typing "right now" because I know it is important to allow these dark feelings and thoughts to exist for a time. It is normal for me to fall into grief again during this time of spring, my first Mother's Day without my mom, another Mother's Day without children of my own. Eventually this stretch of grief will dim somewhat and I'll be brighter again. Eventually. Right now I am burdened greatly with both hands. I also feel quite lost, alone, and lonely. And I'm tired of feeling this way, tired of my life always feeling so up in the air. I know I've been through a lot in the last few years and maybe now is still a time of transition. In my usual habit of rushing to the next thing, I need to remember to take notice of the now, feel what I need to feel right now, and keep putting one foot in front of the other. It would be lovely to have a community of girlfriends to surround me in real life, to boost me up during times like these; but as someone else posted above – at least I've got this SRT community and it is special to me. I've learned a lot about other people as I have walked through my loss and grief; I've learned you can't always count on the people you thought would stand by you. At the end of the day, all you can really count on is Jesus and God's word. It never changes, is always there ready and willing to comfort, love, and strengthen even the saddest hearts. Writing about friendship among women can be a touchy subject for many of us; some of us are introverted and have a hard time putting ourselves out there in real life. Some of us always feel like the perpetual outsider among Christian women, especially when we don't fit that traditional role of our age/station in life (unmarried + no children = no easy connection or instant conversation starter with other women in the church). It's comforting to think that God rarely has a solo plan for His work, especially during the very "alone" times we all have. I know God is still working in this lost and lonely time I am in. Whatever all of you are facing right now, whether it's a dark time like me or a joyful time where all cylinders are firing and you are surrounded and adored by loving, Godly husbands, children, and friends – I pray for us all that we experience a greater sense of God's will for each one of our lives.

    • Valanne

      Lauren, you have been prayed for sweet lady. Grief comes and goes throughout the years. We simply take it along with us (when it is present) as we live for the Lord. My mom died when I was 14–now many years later there are moments when I so wish she was here to share a special event–I think this is more than natural.

      I'll pray for your connections with other women too!

  • kskaggsss

    Somehow, when I read the sentence about how as women we often struggle turning to one another in time of need or hurting- I found myself surprised at this. Because, I feel this way but I have always been ashamed and embarrassed by it. WHYYY should I be?! I am clearly not alone- we as women are wired so uniquely and special. We need one another. Today I had lunch with a Christian girl friend, it's a new friendship but I was so excited to read this today after spending precious time with her talking about the Lord, life, love and all things related to our current struggles. It was so fulfilling to have a meaningful conversation with another women who GETS IT. I am not alone and I am so blessed the Lord has brought her into my life.

  • I'm comforted to know that so many sisters feel the same way as I do, here. I've been asking for friends who love me and love him, a community like the ones I've had. But I've been building it up so much in my mind that I forget to step back, rely on God and just enjoy what He has given me. SheReadsTruth has been an answer to these prayers more than I know, and fully realizing how the Lord has already blessed me has made me a 1000% more content than I was before. Praying that we'd all look to Him for this desire of friendship and trust that He will provide us all that we could ever need. Praise Him.

    Also, "When you hear the blast of the trumpet, rush to wherever it is sounding. Then our God will fight for us!” -Nehemiah 4:20 really stuck out to me. How the trumpeter was always ready to blow the horn, how everyone was always ready to fight the battle, and how they all had to come together to be a truly formidable army against the opposition. Lord, guard me against the enemy's attacks; help me, help us, to band together with other believers when this occurs, always ready to do good and to fight the good fight (Titus 3:1, 1 Tim 6:12).

  • SarahJaneL

    My word for 2014 is 'dependence.' As a perfectionist and control freak it's so hard for me to ask for help and even more so to accept the help. My goal is to be ok with depending on God and others when I need it. I can't do it all on my own and rather than get overwhelmed, I need to let go, ask for help, and accept it. Fits in very well with our study today.

    I also have longed for a "best friend" for a very long time. Whenever someone new entered my life and I felt a connection with them, I'd think "Maybe this is the answer to my prayers, maybe we will become best friends." When I first met my husband, I felt that God was telling me that he was this "best friend" I had been longing and praying for. I love that he is such a great friend and confidant, but there are times I still long for a best girlfriend who I can be close with.

  • Wow. I am sitting here in tears. This really spoke directly to my heart and to the longing I have for a close connection and community of strong Christian fellowship. Nehemiah asked directly for what he needed from God. Now I will do the same.

    • z-girl

      I like that…I have found out on several occasions that God wants us to be specific in our prayers and requests so that way when he answers them we know exactly where they came from and he receives the glory!

  • lisamay5

    This Nehemiah study has been really what I need in my life right now. About a year ago I wanted to leave my marriage. I was ready to walk out the door and be with someone else-anyone else. I started going to counseling by myself. I remember a question my counselor asked me. "Who is Lisa and what does she believe about herself and God? How can she stay true to herself & her beliefs? Seeking God's truth I feel I am not released from my marriage. There is still a void I feel in my heart- a level of intimacy I don't have with my husband-that I crave. We are working on it though. I am trying to be patient *(not a strength for me). I have had lots of opposition. Many people have told me to do what would make me happy. That I have tried long enough-re-enforcing my own feelings/doubts about positive change. I struggle every day to be obedient to God but Oh how I feel Him right there beside me. I need to continue to do this kingdom work. Generations after me will be affected by my choices. I do know that God can heal us. I am weak though- it would be so much easier to just start over. Amazingly a year later….God has blessed me with a Godly friend I have known since we've been 12 yrs old. We had drifted apart from each other because of life but she has been a constant cheerleader for keeping here in my marriage. She has led me back to truth, showed me the positive changes in my husband even when I didn't want to see them, she has encouraged me and she came alongside me and attended a bible study with me (I was too afraid to go alone)- she reminds me of my dreams and tells me all the time God is going to do great things for you! He has a plan- wait & watch and see. I know this is no accident. God has seen my struggle and has sent me help. Building walls/foundations for God's kingdom both in my heart and for future generations. I keep walking and trusting in faith my Wonderful God, Greatness & Power & Glory & Majesty -Everything in heaven & earth is His- even my adoring heart. ****Maybe I have shared too much but I feel that I am not alone in this struggle and maybe someone who is struggling the same way may benefit from me sharing.

    • AnnaLee

      You haven't shared too much, Lisa! Thank you for sharing so honestly. I am not in the same situation, but it's beautiful how God provided someone to come alongside you and to not give up… I will be praying for your marriage as well. Be blessed, friend.

  • Michelle

    Valarie, I have been there. After college, all my closest girlfriends moved away. Between working full-time and spending every moment I’m not working caring for my special needs daughter and trying to be the best wife, I have had a miserable time with female friendships. It has been my prayer for years. A “bestie” who shares my values and love of Christ and family. My mom has even prayed for me to find a true friend. It’s taken 13 years, but I finally find myself involved with a small group of ladies that are the friends I’ve prayed for. One in particular has become so close–and she’d been praying for a friend, too. It was certainly not the timing I would have chose–I want what I want NOW!–but God is faithful. I believe He will answer your prayer in His time. Just keep praying it!

  • hazelmaddie

    Close friendships are hard. They take time and intentionality, which I don’t feel like I have a lot of sometimes. I have to be willing to walk past my comfort zone in order to have better friendships.

    • z-girl

      I agree close friendships are hard but if God is kept in the center of it they are not impossible to keep. I prayed to the Lord about a year and a half ago to send me friends that desire to have and do have a relationship with him because I have worldly biological sisters who are not committed to him at this time and that effects us getting close because they participate in things that I do not. So I felt because I am unable to have a close relationship with my biological sisters at this time that I wanted to have a relationship with girls who would be my "sisters in Christ". So around last year sometime he answered my prayer. But its funny, prior to me actually building my relationship with my sisters in Christ, the Lord revealed to me through his word the characteristics that I would need to have in order to stick in our friendship. He took me and reminded me of the fruits of the spirit…patience, longsuffering, kindness etc. which are things I had a sincere desire to meditate on (which I didn't realize at the time was preparation for me to have a relationship with the girls I prayed for). With that said, I am currently in a position with my "sisters in Christ" in which the Lord has given me an opportunity to apply the concepts of the fruits of the spirit to our friendships especially the patience and longsuffering parts. We have had disagreements and our all getting familiar with each other personalities (which at times rubs me the wrong the way) but at the end of the day we are all works in progress, no one is perfect except for the one who has brought us together and I am so glad that the Lord gave me that insight, because I would have walked away from our friendship a long time ago. So I say to you, if you desire to have friendships pray to the Lord about that and the desire to stay committed to them despite obstacles that may come your way, because they will come. But have encouragement that if you keep the Lord first and stay tuned into his word he can and will get you through any obstacle.

  • The Lord knows my needs…. This today is so timely for me as I have a friend (the rock we all turn to, the prayer warrior that is our go to) who is facing stage 1 breast cancer. It is especially hard for us because we lost one of our group to this hideous disease 5 years ago. This reminds me that accomplishing the Lord's work with others may not be traditional work but helping others, volunteering, just being there for someone. I would have never thought to look in Nehemiah for this pearl of wisdom and direction.

  • hannahallen

    What solid truth! Thanks for reminding us that "god rarely has a solo plan". As I get older (27 here!) and life changes through marriage and children, I Have found that community and true friendships are harder to come by. I loved this reminder and commission for authentic relationships and to take the risk to lean on one another.

  • Today’s devotional really hit home for me. I grew up as an only child so I learned to do everything by myself. I never really enjoyed being a part of groups and never really had a lot of friends. As a matter of fact, I made 1 or 2 friends in every stage of my life and I’m still friends with them now. Today, I still don’t much like being a part of groups and often still feel like I’m still alone if I am. I pretty much consider myself to be a non-group person. Over the years it has evolved to where I really don’t like asking for help and if I do ask for help, I want the least amount of help possible. I also don’t do well with delegating, unless it’s things I really don’t like to do. Reading today reminds me that there’s so much more that can be done if we work together and work as a team. It reminded me to try and find team opportunities and use them and learn from them.

    • Kaitlin

      Hi, Lesley! Vulnerability is a tough thing and we feel honored that you would share with us. I think you'll find a supportive and encouraging group of women here to pray with and for you. Asking now that God would open doors and send fellow believers to walk alongside you.

      XO-Kaitlin for She Reads Truth

  • 'He let God take care of their hearts while he went ahead with his work" …WOW! I love that!!

    This spoke to me in the area of witnessing to others..as I have always felt it is GOD'S JOB to change peoples hearts…it's our job to be a light and plant seeds. People are not projects that we manipulate//force//guilt into following Jesus. The bible says…"they will know me by your LOVE"
    Oh that we would be the LOVE of Jesus to others and let God take care of their hearts.

  • LOVE

  • It’s me the newlywed lol. So coming off an amazing marriage retreat weekend I have the opposite prayer. I was so close to my girlfriends who knows and understands me sooo well that I don’t share much with my husband. So for me I desire to grow deeper in my friendship with my husband. Prayers are appreciated as I take our conversation to a deeper level of trust, familiarity and intimacy

    • claireb

      Tiffany, my daughter and her husband were the same way. They still each have that close friend group and they maintain it by having retreats separately with them and girls/guys nights out. However, each day of marriage has brought them closer and closer as friends. The birth of their son 8 months ago made it even closer. Your 'newlywedness' will develop in to best friend and lover status quickly. Best Wishes.

      • Tiffany

        thanks Claire for the encouragement. That is my desire because I never want him to feel like my friends are more important then him. I have vowed to not share any good news (esp while i'm at work and its easy to text, fb or chat my friends) before I tell him first. I think that will make him a little secure. And not to call anyone about a problem (that he prolly knows nothing about) before I tell him first :)

  • Thank you for this insight : " Nehemiah has a gift for asking for help and being specific in his needs."

    I just ended a committee assignment, and although having lead many others, this one was particularly difficult.

    The nugget for me is this: "He didn’t worry about being a bother, he let God take care of their hearts while he went ahead with his mission."

    I need to be thankful for this difficult assignment, and eager for the growth the Lord gave me and my team intertwining to meet a lot of sisters needs.

  • WHY do I find it so difficult to ask for help? From others… and even from God. This week I pray for the wisdom to recognize when and where I need help and support, and strength to speak up and ask for it. To be realistic and specific in whst I need others to do. And to trust God with their hearts and attitudes.
    Beckey
    http;//www.etsy.com/shop/queenbsbusywork

    • Malon Williamson

      Yes Beckey we all could relate to you of having a hard time asking for help in our lives if we just defect back But God was the one who showed us the way to cast All our cares on him and hr will see us through life circumstances just hold on to Gods changing hand and let him direct your path.Seek him in All things even with your help issue then you will see how his marvelous works happens Be Bless and see the salvation of the Lord.

  • ***^^ each to our own work

  • “When our enemies heard that we were aware of their plot and that God had frustrated it, we all returned to the wall, each your own work.” (v. 15 NIV). The real victory here isn’t that their enemies shrunk back (even though we still shouldn’t discredit that!) It was the work they continued to do.. the progress they were continuing to make after that occurred! I love the emphasis on community and relationships in this book! Another awesome message :)

    • Becky

      Agreed, and sometimes the work is hard and tedious. Returning to the work is a discipline.

    • AnnaLee

      Amen Jaida… just pressing on without being hindered is such a big deal. Lord, help us to press on unhindered today!

  • Elizabeth

    Valarie, I empathize with you! I am also very disciplined and so not waver. Funny enough, my husband says the same thing to me about scaring people off. Maybe we should be email friends, ;)

  • Friendship is very important, and at some point we all need someone to turn to, to talk to or just to be around. Let us not forget however that God is always with us, therefore if we dont have that friend there is nothing to worry about. Having Christ means having everything.

    As it relates, to working with one hand and preparing for an attack with the other, this is so real. As christians we are attacked from all angles, especially when doing Gods work, but He has commanded us and is forever with us, hence we should not fear. Ensure that you are armoured at all times, for we fight not against flesh and blood. It takes the spiritual to fight the spirits. Walk in the Spirit that ye may not fulfill the lusts of the flesh, be in the Spirit at all times, so that we will be victorious over the enemy.

    Have a blessed day, and may the Lord cause His face to shine upon you all.

  • joanne sher

    We so need one another. Thank you for this reminder – it is so normal for me to try to go it alone – but we were made for fellowship, and we accomplish so much more together.

  • Jmtoad777

    Two years ago, as a single woman, I adopted a sweet, sweet baby boy. About a year ago I felt the tug to do it again. I considered it and then dismissed it thinking that financially, as a teacher, that I just couldn't do it. It has continually come to mind and I would tell God that he would just have to make it fall in my lap – I didn't want to take the true step of faith to go through the long process again. But after the last couple of days of this study I have actually downloaded the intake form and have it prepared to take to the agency this week! I am waiting to hear back from a few other "advisors" right now first though. Would you pray with me? I am scared to death and yet excited. I don't want to do this if this is just me but if it is Him I want to go for it! Please pray for clarity and willingness to either do it or to let it go.

    • Kimone

      Listen to the still small voice. Pray and ask God for revelation. In the meantime I will be praying for you and with you. May you receive clarity and willingness as you go through this process in Jesus name. God bless you.

    • AnnaLee

      I will be praying, sister! That He'd continually guide you as you take these steps. Father, if it's your will, open these doors for her– and if not, close them, putting your true Peace in her heart. Be blessed, dear sister. The Lord is with you.

    • Gema Muniz

      Praying for you

    • whitneyconard

      I think it's so great you are following God in your life! I have a friend who is a single mom adopting from China, and her faith is so encouraging to me. I pray that God would show you if this is from him and give you faith to walk ahead, despite any discouragement from outside or doubts within. His heart is for the orphan, and by obeying him, you're following his heart.

  • The subject of friendships….is this a tough one for anyone else? I seem to not be good at it I guess. I have friends but I do wish I had one good strong godly woman besides my mom I could talk to. I'm a very disciplined person….my husband says that's what scares people lol. I don't exaggerate and I try to be honest with my self on all things. My husband is out of town a lot with the military and perhaps that has something to do with it. Because he is a recruiter we are not near a base so there are not military wives around who understand this life. There schedules are ever changing. I always wonder what I am doing that I can't make deep friendships. My hubby says some of my friendship didn't last because I stick to what's right and most people waver. I asked him is that really a fault though? I hope god has blessed some of you with that great girl friend. Perhaps it's just not in Gods plan for me but I do get lonely.
    As I read this I'm sure Nehemiah was thankful for the tight bond they shared. They literally were trusting each other with their life. God provided emotional and mental support through those friendships I'm sure. It helped them to keep on!

    • Kimone

      God is with you, and you will find that friend. Until then keep your relationship with God. God bless you Sis.

    • megan w

      Valarie, you are definitely not the only one who struggles with friendships. I have many good godly women to talk to, but they all live many states away, so I often feel alone. I am in the military, so I understand the being away from your family and support group, and others not understanding. I have met some very nice women through my church group, but I don't know that I would call them close friends. That's part of why I came to She Reads Truth, I figured a virtual community is better than no community at all. I will pray for you, that you may find a close friend, to teach you, to listen, to push you, and to be a shoulder to cry on. Don't give up, God is always there and he is always listening. <3

    • Shelia

      I don't really understand the military life, but my husband has moved around with his job so we are constantly starting over in a new location. We have been in this location for 16 years, and I still don't have a bond with a good strong Christian woman from my church. My friendships are all kind of surface level, I miss the bond I previously shared with my Christian sisters in other places we have lived. It does get lonely, and I never realized that I didn't have one single really close friend at my church, till my brother died and it never once occurred to me to call one of them. I will pray that God will send you that one earthly friend, but in the mean time, make God your best friend. He will always be there.

    • Janet

      Valarie, I am with you! I have not had a Christian friend nearby since we moved to our current town 3 years ago. I pray often for one godly friend I can really share with. I will pray for you, too!

      • Jennifer

        Bless you, Valarie, for your openness and vulnerability in sharing your struggle. And thank all you ladies who have replied. I've not had a close friend for many years. I, too, am very disciplined and honest and not good at "chit chat." My husband is not a believer, so we lack closeness in many ways. I'm blessed to know many godly ladies, but, as Sheila said, our relationships are surface level. They all seem to have busy lives with an established group of friends and have no need/interest in adding me to their group. I somewhat relate to the military lifestyle because my son is in the military. He's currently deployed and I think about him all the time. Although people are kind enough to ask about him, they really don't want extended answers that share my true thoughts and fears. I'm always lonely, even in the midst of our church crowd. Megan W expressed my heart very well: "That's part of why I came to She Reads Truth. I figured a virtual community is better than no community at all." :-) I occasionally allow myself a brief "pity party" to wallow in my loneliness and beg God to provide me a meaningful human relationship. He's always patient and kind and lovingly reminds me that He has provided Jesus as my Best Friend. I can go to Jesus any time, all the time, in any mood, at my best or my worst. He's always there, He always cares, He delights to have me share my world with Him. I still hope to someday find a close human friend, but until then, Jesus is enough. Praying that you all sense His presence with you today.

    • AnnaLee

      Valarie, as all these other girls have said, you are not alone. I have good Christian friends and a few friends from my young childhood (they're more like family), but I don't have any super close, sisterly bonds with any of them. I had a very meaningful, close circle of friends about 3 years ago, but all of it has changed a lot. In a lot of those friendships, I slid and wandered away from Christ in pursuit of what they were passionate about– and it actually hindered my walk more than helped because I just loved (more like idolized) them so much. I've realized that since I fall into forming myself around my friendships, and investing in them as my foundation more than Christ a lot, it is for good that I'm a bit lonely right now. Continue to rejoice in the Lord, Valarie… He knows you, and his walls are ever before you. SheReadsTruth has been nothing but a blessing for me, and I pray it continues to be one for you as He prepares your heart to be with that good friend. Praying for all of you, sisters. That the Lord would continually build and establish you in whatever place your at, and that He'd prepare you for good works in a community of lovely women according to His will and timing. Be blessed, friends.

    • Gema Muniz

      Valarie as the other women have said, at times we need to stop seeking and just focus on God he is our one and only true friend. God fills that void that no one can.

      But I must also say that I myself don't have a close girlfriend, but God has provided me with my husband which is my best friend. Have you ever thought that maybe your husband is your best friend? Is obviously not convenient that your husband is always traveling and therefore you find yourself feeling lonely, but focus on the small moments you spend with him and maybe that will make them so much more special. If it all fails we are always here for you sister as the SRT community.

    • Valarie

      Thank you all..and please don't take this as a pity party lol. My husband is my best friend. We do everything together. He will grocery shop with me and I learn to use the tractor. Lol literally! When I speak of disciplined….I grew up with sisters and my dad taught me to do "boy" stuff in case we needed it one day. Which I did……my first husband was a busive and I had to do everything. When my children were affected I left to never turn back. That's when I realized my friends weren't my friends. Only a few stood by me at church while his smooth talking got him farther. Anyway, I'm very involved with our children's ministry bat a diff church and I have friends but not the one kind you'd call when you can't get ahold of your husband and you have to tell someone.. My mom was that but she moved a year ago and I really feel the loneliness of girl talk. Also the strong spiritual side is hard to come by….it seems most people are half committed Christians. I'm not raising my kids that way and I know that is part of it. It's something that bothers me bad sometimes but I don't focus on it….as some of y'all have said you are busy with family and work as I am lol Thank you for the encouragement and love! Y'all are amazing and I'm blessed to have found this group. Thank you thank you…..

      • Jennifer

        Dear sweet Valarie! Just wanted to clarify that I did not interpret your sharing as a pity party. Quite the opposite, in fact. My reference to "pity party" was purely an expression of my own personal weakness, to show that no matter how low I get, God is bigger and always able to see me through. Praise His name!!

    • Sheila in NC

      Wow…. I felt as if I was looking in the mirror reading your words! Thank you for sharing. I, too, am in a phase of life where I find myself without a good girlfriend to talk to or hang out with. My husband travels in his civilian job and is also currently deployed to Afghanistan with the navy. I don't live in a military town so I don't have military wife friends either. I have had some close godly friends in years past but one sadly fell into a lifestyle of sin….turning her back on God and her friends. The others are always too busy to nurture a friendship and quite honestly seems it is one-sided most of the time. I have learned unfortunately that many care on the surface but few really care with any depth. I'm sure I have been guilty of the same. I'm not a pit-party kind of person either so I hope it doesn't sound that way. I am really trying to focus more on my relationship with Jesus and accept that He has me in the season of "aloneness" for a reason. He is always with me…..when I don't feel His nearness I know it's because I've moved not Him. I'm so thankful for my Savior and how he loves me! And I'm thankful for SRT community that encourages me to press on! If only we could hang out in person sometime!!!!

  • Asking for help is often very hard for me, even from God. Sometimes I feel as if I’m not allowed to ask for those specifics, like I’m being greedy somehow in requesting exactly what I want. Sometimes my attitude is one of God knows what I need, I’ll leave it to him. I forget scripture says to ask, ask, ask, to seek our Father. So I ask for you ladies prayers today. I am 6 1/2 weeks pregnant and experienced bleeding the past 4 days. The dr said my hormone levels are low and my scan showed a much smaller sac than I should have, with no evident baby inside. This could mean my pregnancy is earlier than thought, which seems unlikely to me as I know all of the specific dates, or that the pregnancy is in the beginning stages of miscarrying. I pray that that isn’t true, that this pregnancy continues and that the baby grows in strength and that I see the child I’ve been blessed with in 7-8 short months, that I can hear that first cry and hold my baby here on earth. Thanks ladies, for all shereadstruth does!

    • Jmtoad777

      I have prayed!

    • Kimone

      We serve a God of the impossible! Hold on eventhough it seems tough, this is the time to call on the Lord and not give in to fear. Be strong and of a good courage for the Lord is with you wherever you go!! Just keep praising Him. He is a rewarder of faithfulness. Ill keep you in my prayers. You will hear his/her first cry and you will hold your gift in your hands. I speak life to your wimb right now in the name of Jesus!

    • Shelia

      My daughter is pregnant right now, and I understand the fear you must be feeling. I am praying for you today, and specifically praying that you will feel God's mighty arms around you and your baby.

    • Sweetdes

      Praying!!

    • Brandi

      Praying!

    • Hayley

      Praying for you today!

    • Lisa

      Praying for you Heather….

    • Annie

      Praying for you Heather! I have been there (twice), and I know how terrified you are. The night before I found out I had lost our baby the first time, God gave me this verse: Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. ~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. At the time, we couldn't understand God's will for us, and I questioned whether we would even be able to have kids. However, during these times, my husband and I grew even stronger in our faith and trusted the fact that we believe in an amazing and loving God and whatever He was preparing for us would be great! Although I would have given anything to hold and raise those babies, I'm not sure I would be where I am today if I hadn't gone through that. Don't give up hope, and trust that He makes all things work together for our good!

    • Brenda

      You have done the courageous thing to ask for help. I am standing with you, believing for a turn around in the doctor's report and I am in agreement with all you have prayed. God's will be done. Amen.

    • AnnaLee

      Heather, I'm praying. May the Lord nourish and comfort both you and this baby in His arms during this time, and may the baby grow in strength over the next weeks. Love you, sister. He is holding you! Cry out to our Abba– He is faithful to hear the cries of his children!

    • Gema Muniz

      Heather I know exactly how you feel and I touches me deeply. I myself was pregnant and lost my baby to a miscarriage a few weeks ago. Many times we don't understand God's will but we need to remember that his will is perfect.

      As I was struggling to understand why God gave me the blessing of a child and at the same time took it away he gave me this scripture Joshua 1: 8-9 (8) Study this book of instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to ober everything written in it. Only then will yiu prosper and suceed in all you do. (9) This is my command- be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

      I'm praying for you and your baby!

      • tina

        Gema, I'm sorry for your loss….I pray you know Gods peace in, over, around you, wherever you are, whatever you do….He is an amazing God….and Lthough we do not know why unhappy things happen….we know that our God walks, weeps and holds us through it 'll….
        Thank you for sharing something so personal…God be with you..x x

    • tina

      Praying for you and your baby Heather….God be with you…x.

    • Amanda

      Praying for you and your child.

  • Steph_Lilac

    I always loved that part in Nehemiah where everyone is working but armed. That's a life lesson: Just because you're working doesn't mean you can take off your armor because the attacks will come in every setting. Let's continue to rally together as a body of Godly women who uplift one another because the fact of the matter is, we need each other. May you have a blessed Monday Sweet Sisters going and growing in the Lord. xoxo

    • Morgan

      That, too, is what stands out to me. That Nehemiah's faith and trust in the Lord is unwavering and that he doesn't shirk from fear of danger. And that the people don't either. That they follow his lead, strap on their weapons, and do the work with one hand while holding a weapon in another. Eph. 6 reminds us of that armor, and I'm challenged to have my sword (the Word) girded at my side while I build and stand on the brink of battle.

    • Lori B.

      Thank you for pointing that piece out. I'm in a place where I need to set boundaries with someone I love very much. It's hard, and it's scary, but it's very necessary for my own sanity and serenity. The most challenging part is setting the boundaries with love, and staying strong. This study is very timely for me. I love that Nehemiah isn't antagonizing or threatening the enemy, he's simply putting the boundaries in place while trusting God and holding fast to his goals. Great lesson in that for me today.

      • AnnaLee

        Praying for you, Lori! That the Lord would equip you not to fear men or what they may do; that you'd instead trust in and rely on Him in this hard situation. I've been here before in an old relationship, and I know how heartbreakingly hard and confusing it can be to actually go about doing. Praying that you'd only speak the Lord's words in this situation and do His will– trust that when you are seeking and obeying Him in this, He WILL bring about His desired outcome, and you'll be okay in the end. He's got this all under control! Love you, friend. Have a blessed day.

    • Gema Muniz

      Amen!

  • Beckie Potterfield

    I'm not participating in the study because of the study I am doing with a group at my church. I continue to come here daily and read the message. The past couple of days have been just what I needed to hear first thing in the morning. Thank you for truth.

    • Kaitlin

      Hi, Beckie! Thanks for stopping by. We are so happy God is using She Reads Truth to encourage you and love having you in our community!

      -xo-Kaitlin for She Reads Truth

  • I love that Hebrews passage it reminds me how much stronger we are when we are together. Whether thars facing difficulties or sharing joy we are designed to join together as the people of God. Bring our prayers of petition and our prayers of thanks to the Lord not only as individuals but as friends and family.

    • vicki bell

      i love what you said there, a couple of verses you might like, hebrews 3 v8-12 and deuteronomy 6 v4-5, read first to me seems a challenge which is good for me but then read a few times for me it seems to be coming out of the father's love for me,be blessed dear sister in christ, love vicki bell uk xx

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